UnNews:Turkey ablaze at airport

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24 May 2006

Driveby terrorist caught on film during flaming turkey raid. Note: this is only a simulation.

ISTANBUL -- Officials said that 42 people and one turkey were caught in a blaze and that an actual assessment of the situation could happen only after the turkey feathers clear out and the place cools down.

Eyewitness put a "flying" turkey at the center of the fiasco at the airport. "This flaming turkey was just flying through the air, and pow just hits this kid getting a drink at the water fountain."

Authorities say a small boy was playing a PSP while getting a drink at the water fountain and a short circuit may have caused the fire that spread throughout the airport. Moments before the child was playing the new game: "Johnny get the terrorist". They are still speculating just how the turkey was involved.

The Kurdish separatists group, Kurds-n-Way, claimed no involvement in throwing the turkey at the little boy. Known for their "Mary-had-a-little-lamb" emblem, eyewitnesses put some of the extremists in the vicinity at the time of the blaze. It is also currently under speculation that the majority of the workers at the nearby Chik-a-Fil were Kurdish, but that still does not explain the presence of turkey.

Interpol stated that they had been observing the terrorist group, Kurds-n-Way, purchase barn-yard animals for the past year. Also, on their purchase list has been Wild Turkey. No one at Interpol was available for comment. Even though their actions have been tracked on a daily basis, government agencies had not been doing anything about it.

Although no-one died in the fire and reports suggest many people have sustained light injuries and smoke inhalation. There are still no reports about the turkey.


Sources[edit | edit source]

  • "Yuri" of the former KGB
  • mckflip