Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Press Room/2

The Hunt for the Oldest Surviving Uncyclopedia Article

Interesting, Cajek, but there's no evidence that says that's the oldest article. There's gotta be a more reliable way of figuring it out. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:05 May 15, 2008

Is there a "recent changes" that goes back to 2005? Otherwise, I'm stumped. Very interesting idea I had, if I do say so myself... whatchu think?   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [1:09]>

Recent changes only goes up to the latest 2,000 edits. But it is an interesting idea - Wikipedia determined its oldest edit somehow, so it has to be possible! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:09 May 15, 2008

Well, we KNOW the oldest page: the mainpage! But that's boring. We want the oldest article, and I think Chronarion may have created it.   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [1:12]>

Oldest page: Dragons. Beats sex by an hour ten minutes! ...that sounds weird.   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [1:14]>

Special:Ancientpages. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:18, May 15

Great idea, if Ancientpages worked right on this wiki. Which it doesn't; it orders pages by last edit, not first. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:20 May 15, 2008

Hmm, you're right. Fucking ancientpages... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:35, May 15

WAIT! Oldest page: Bill Clinton Beats the old record by nearly a whole day!   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [1:19]>

Oldest surviving edit: This. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:20 May 15, 2008

Someone adding the stub template is the oldest edit? That sounds kinda weird... Well then, who made the stub template?   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [1:27]>

These are the sorts of questions that make religions, Cajek. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:42 May 15, 2008

They didn't add the stub template, they created the article with a stub template on. The template was created later.

And FYI, the oldest, very first edit to uncyc was to Pie http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Special:Undelete&target=Pie&timestamp=20050105054924 , you just can't see it because it was deleted. Damn deletionists. It pre-dates the Main Page by an hour and 16 minutes. Maybe I'll restore it for old times' sake. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 13:48, 15 May 2008

Now that would be awesome. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:04 May 15, 2008

My bad, Main Page actually still came first. And Uncyclopedia came before pie. But then it was pie. Must have been looking at the wrong list or something. I don't know what's what any more. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 19:34, 15 May 2008

The Wikipedia peoples used a "SQL query". Whatever that means. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:44 May 15, 2008

We're looking for the first new page, not the first edit... right?   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [23:06]>

Wouldn't the first new page be one of the first edits? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:15 May 15, 2008

Skull, as one of your bots, may I suggest archiving this damn page? Also, how come Spang's supposed link to the first edit isn't accessible to us non-sysops?   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [23:17]>

Yeah, good idea. I tried to figure Fnoodle-based archiving out before, but it didn't work. I'll try it again when I get through some more homework. And that's because the sysops have to have some pages all to themselves in order to make them feel special and needed. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:21 May 15, 2008

This guy seems to have some really old contributions. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:30, May 15

Medicine of the Day?

Seeing as there's 1000 kamillion medicines in our world, may I recommend a Medicine of the Day column? - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 17:46, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

Apparently you just did, what are you asking us for? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:54 May 16, 2008

Cause. ^_^ - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 00:12, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Issue #4 will be a few hours late

I've got skewl stuff on Wednesday night. Please don't fire me Cajek! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:45 May 21, 2008

hey no, don't worry. How does the issue look so far? What should I change, now that I have a few extra hours?   Le Cejak • <May 21, 2008 [1:47]>

It's fucking hilarious (in case you missed that edit summary). However, I need to get up off my ass and add an article so I can pretend I'm being useful. And find some more pages. Don't worry, I'll get right on it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:54 May 21, 2008

[1]

Mhaille's comment is kinda fun. "Uncyc breaks new ground in idealogical debate"? MrN 01:58, May 21

That image is from the great contributor Beer Barrals Should be bigger. here.   Le Cejak • <May 21, 2008 [2:10]>

Just A Quick Thingie

On your signpost main page thingie the link to "view the latest issue" goes to the not-the-latest issue. Er... Yeah. - 09:52 24 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Wow! There's this awesome thing called the "edit" button! Obviously you can use it... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 13:00 May 24, 2008

But Cajek shouts at me, otherwise. And Cajek is very scary when he shouts. - 17:09 24 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

BLAH! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! (translation:no more shouting from me about that type of stuff)   Le Cejak • <17:14, 24 May 2008>

Starnes and the Bathroom

According to Starnestommy, Uncyc is "A NICE PLACE TO POO."

You know that section of links you have at the top right??

Mmm...them...just a suggestion to include this. For a start Orian and myself could be jailed from the contents of that forum topic and furthermore it is CONTROVERSIAL. - 16:05 26 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Or you could post this, though it may be fairer on HV to move it somewhere else. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 23:54, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

So, you want stuff?

Offering:

UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!)

Feel free to use, alter, keep the idea but change the word, ignore, discard or torch into a charred pile of oblivion, depending on preference. Anyway, that's a few seconds of a dull lunchtime passed, now for some toast. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:50, May 27

That's definitely going in! Thank you, UU, and keep 'em comin'!   Le Cejak • <12:55, 27 May 2008>

Oh, we got miles of these. Another one will be here in plenty of time for next week... Might pop it in a day early, see if you can guess what the hell it means. I like games. Other ideas if I have them... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:04, May 27

Miss Lady Princess Irreverent

How come I get the feeling this will turn to shit once I start writing for it :/... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:46, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

Scratch that, I'll write something better and more in the tone of UnSignpost... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:59, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

Don't be a baby: Write stuff. If it turns to shit, we'll call it "new unsignpost", and when the public hates that, we'll switch back to "classic unsignpost" and make millions!   Le Cejak • <13:49, 27 May 2008>

That would be because you write in shit? Maybe if you write on the computer it'll be okay? I'm sure it'll be fine, DJ, I think, um...cough... Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 13:50 27 May

Heh...a little idea just flashed into my mind and so I decided to stick it here. What about a "Most Stupid Wikipedia Thing of the Week" or "Stupidest Wikipedia Thing Of the Week"...problem is I don't know what could actually go under this title, but those stupid, funny things that go on at Wikipedia. What aboot some of there best "being serious about silly things articles" or best "blocked for the supidest reason" thing...meh...it's an idea. Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 14:10 27 May

MrN takes aggressive line against vandals in recent Uncyc attack?

Vandal shit ... The request [2]... The reply [3]. MrN 14:21, May 27

Oh, this is a Wikipedia editor (possibly even an admin if you check his user page) as he was pasting factual Wikipedia shit over our brilliant satire. MrN 14:22, May 27