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TKF has taken his leave
- By Sir Peasewhizz de New York
If you haven't heard the sad, sad news; TKF (formerly Thekillerfroggy) has announced his departure from Uncyclopedia as an Uncyclopedian, Admin, Bureaucrat, Legend, and Hero in the afternoon of March 2nd. With it, his reason; not enough writers who enjoy it for the fun and enjoy others work as well as he doesn't want to write anymore nor does he need to. He feels this has taken him from a shitty high-school writer to something he had gained confidence in.
Of course, he wishes us good luck and knows we'll boom with excellence in the future.
He would like to thank MadMax, Zombiebaron, The Thinker, Ljlego, So So, Dr. Skullthumper, Mhaille, The Woodburninator, TheLedBalloon, Cajek, Procopius, Mordillo, One Eyed Jack, Heerenveen, Bonner, Hyperbole, THEDUDEMAN, and Modusoperandi. He states Uncyclopedia and his own writing wouldn't have existed if it weren't for these users.
He also has to admit his respect for Lyrithya, Frosty, Bizzeebeever, and Xamralco for leading the new guard.
He wishes for Leverage to continue writing because he's good at it. He states "Humbucker, we barely knew ye."
He left this for Sir Peasewhizz:
- "Peasewhizz, sorry man, you've got the energy and passion but you've got a long way to go to develop your talent and rein in your hyperactive aspects. You do remind me of myself from 2006, which is to say you've got a little bit of something goin on here but it needs to be toned down a LOT. Writing-wise, you need an editor. You would benefit the most from pee review coming back. Which gives me an idea: how about instead of Pee Review, we just have writing partners or something? I dunno. But back to the point: focus less on all of the bullshit "community" stuff, stop nominating your own articles, and go back and edit all of your older things. Become embarrassed by what you wrote 3 months ago, I still do with my own articles. Read them out loud. Get better before you get bigger."
He also states he will NEVER FINISH 18TH CENTURY BIIIIIIIIITCH!
But Frosty thinks he will return, as he states (and believes) "Once an Uncyclopedian, always Uncyclopedian".
February 2013 Award Winners... also, YOU'RE DICKS!
- By Sir Peasewhizz de New York
As a wise man once said, (yesterday) "Whatintheworldofgaysex?! It's already March?" To answer that question, well, yes. You see, FEBRUARY 2013 HAS DIED. So... I guess we shall show you all the award winners of the month of February this year.
We only had two categories with cheaters winners this month. What are these ones, well goddamn it let me finish! They were Uncyclopedian of the Month and n00b of the Moment.
 Want a plate? It is a trophy, made out of pure plate. You can eat cookies on it. The noob of February 2013 was none other than Hoof Hearted. With a score of 5 obtained, this user has passed the ultimate liftout course and went on to claiming this sexy title. Still up there, ready to take March by the balls, is ProfessorScience. Hoof Hearted, however, has left ProfessorScience a strong against vote stating that the humor ProfessorScience gives out was hard to find funny. Sorry, but THAT WAS MEAN. I mean, such n00Bz voted against more than once in this month's Noob of the Moment contest.
And guess who was the UOTM? DUH! None other than MadMax, whom we all knew would win. However, we boggled and offended that this guy only won once before claiming this month's UOTM title. Wow. Not cool, bros. But hey, does his 2007 Uncyclopedian of the Year title override this? Well, fuck, now I'm trying to figure that out. Thanks for putting my head into a crisis-like state. I love you for this.
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Ask Zombiebaron
- Why does How It's Made give me a boner? (asked by RAHB)
- I think the real question is how could the perfect combination of Lynne Adams's terrible monotone narration and the shine of mechanically precise cold polished steel not give you a boner. How It's Made is basically porn.
- How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? (asked by Colin "All your base" Heaney)
- If he's already a man why should he care what I call him.
- hOW COME WE NEVER SE EZOMBIES POOP IN ZMOBIE MOVIES?!?!!1 THEY EAT STUF FALL THE TIME BUT WE NEVER SEE THEM POOP! (asked by Bizzeebeever)
- Because movies aren't real life.
- Dear Mr. Z, does life start at conception, or when the child takes its first walkabout? (asked by Aleister)
- In the fourth dimension life has no beginning and no end.
- Why won't my porn download? (asked by WeinribŽivojinović)
- Just stream it.
Ask Zombiebaron questions and maybe he will answer them!
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From our logs:
- 20:45, March 4, 2013 Legoktm (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 115.25.216.6 (Talk | contribs) to an expiry time 2 years (You are editing on a gay proxy. As such you are banned, sucks don't it? Spam, eh? More like WHAM, amirite?)
- 20:04, February 28, 2013 RAHB (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mike the Great (Talk | contribs) (lol naw I suck cocks)
- 20:03, February 28, 2013 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Mike the Great (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months (Needs to be unblocked as part of the test. I still don't see any malted milk balls.)
- 19:49, February 28, 2013 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Mike the Great (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes (Is conducting some sort of test. Personally, I hope it involves malted milk bals.)
- 00:30, February 27, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.59.28.95 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year (Block, just a block: Hello and bye (don't come back pls))
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IRC Log
<derpyy> I'LL CUM TOO MUCH AND DIE!
<UncycBot> <derpyy> I am very happy for you.
<derpyy> This damn pussy of yours is also just a pussy!
<UncycBot> <derpyy> Oh now I see.
<derpyy> FULL THROTTLE EROTICA!
<UncycBot> <derpyy> That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about dicks car.
<Frostee> derpyy is gay like UncycBot
<UncycBot> <Frostee> I think derpyy is a lot of things.
<derpyy> My vagina hungers!
<UncycBot> <derpyy> Where did you get your vagina hungers?
<derpyy> THE LIPS OF MY WOMB ARE CONGESTED WITH BLOOD AND SUCKLING ON THE TIP OF HIS DICK LIKE A BABY BEING PAMPERED! <3
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Biopic: In Their Own Words
This week, we are debuting the UnSignpost's "Biopic: In Their Own Words", which is to say, we are so incredibly lazy that we can't even make up our own bullshit anymore. In fact, we are so lazy that we debuted this feature several weeks ago, but were too lazy to announce it until now.
This week, we are profiling lazy IRC lurker and occasional editor Colin "All your base" Heaney:
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I'm originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The first article that comes to mind as a favorite is Inebriated's The fact that you don't want a poodle. I'm 18 years old, I turn 19 on April 2nd. Politically I veer left like I'm driving drunk. If hip-hop and rap music were classes in high school I would be valedictorian. I sometimes do drugs. My favorite book is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Arrested Development and Firefly are the best shows ever. On the site I don't do a hell of a lot besides write articles about 9/11 and related topics. I've goatse'd the main page not once, but twice.
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So There You Have It! Colin is a terrific guy who enjoys urban music, weed, and timeless Internet memes. (For future reference, Colin, we're in ur base, killin all ur doods.)
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Confucius say
- Business can mean bad or good. When it is none of your business it cannot be either
- AIDS do not help body
- First crush feel heavy, second crush feel heavier
- Math class is full of drama. There are so many problems to work out
- A group called Balloons sings pop music
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