Blubberhouses, England -- Boris Johnson has politely joined calls from opposition parties, including the Labour Party led by ... whoever leads them at the moment, I appear to have forgotten, for Nigel Farage to stop lifting children. In a statement, he has gone on to call specifically on whoever the Prime Minister is to stop his daily routine appointing people with a rather problematic history of emails to focus instead on placing a two-child lifting limit on Nigel Farage.
Nigel Farage has responded to the revelation that the retired professional under-18s rugby player, and ex-Prime Minister, has joined these calls by calling Johnson a hypocrite. "He just doesn't want me to lift his kids," Farage disappointingly told whoever had the misfortune to hear him this time, "but I'm taking back control of lifting his seventy-thousand illegitimate children." Johnson was heard making a very annoyed noise, however nobody could quite work out what he was blabbering on about.
