UnNews:Google reveals least popular searches of 2024

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Saturday, December 14, 2024

SILICON VALLEY, California -- Google has revealed its list of least popular searches for the year 2024.

"We figured the most popular would be too obvious and predictable," says the big tech giant.

“The top 1,000 would be something like:

  • Diddy
    • Diddy Party
    • Freak Offs
    • Diddy and Meek Mill
    • Diddy and Justin Beiber
    • Diddy and Jay-Z
    • Is Diddy gay?
  • Donald Trump
    • Why did Trump win?
    • Oh dear God why?
    • Seriously, America?
    • I blame Harambe for this
    • How to move to Canada
    • How to move to Europe
    • Trump "eating the dogs, eating the cats" quote
  • Kamala Harris
    • Kamala Harris born into a middle-class family
    • Kamala laugh
    • Kamala Harris at least isn't Trump
      • Or Biden
  • Joe Biden
  • JD Vance
    • Is JD Vance wearing guy-liner?
    • JD Vance is a Nazi
    • Is JD Vance more competent than Tim Walz, Kamala, Biden and Trump?
  • That funny guy from Minnesota
    • Tim Walz calls himself knucklehead
    • Tim Walz is a knucklehead
    • Kamala done goofed up choosing this knucklehead
  • Are my abortion rights going away? (revised from "So we can't legally kill babies anymore?")
  • Hawk Tuah Girl
  • Taylor Swift
  • Sabrina Carpenter
  • Chappell Roan
  • Deez Nuts
  • Uncyclopedia
  • Fortnite
  • Arcane
  • Fallout Amazon series
  • Skibidi Toilet... just, why?

The same old shit as last year, just with more Trump. We decided this year to give you the deep cuts. We hope that this better illustrates the inquisitive minds of people all around the world.

”

– Google

Ecosia will release its list once they plant 3 million trees in the Amazon Rainforest.

Well, do they?

Least popular searches list[edit | edit source]

Here's the list in no particular order:

I think I know which one was dead last.

This year's most popular searches included Trump, Harris, Catherine, Princess of Wales, boxer Imane Khelif, Tim Walz, J.D. Vance, Liam Payne and O.J. Simpson, and Brat.

Top redacted searches[edit | edit source]

“We've also redacted certain searches as they were evidently made by bots. Bigoted, racist, misogynist, homophobic, inhuman, deplorable, garbage bots, as Trump supporters are supposedly too stupid to use Google, use Bing instead, or don't exist. And now I'm getting pelted with eggs by these bots that have attained human form. Screw this, I'm taking that job at Baidu where we can actually skew data.. I mean, fight misinformation! I heard they give away free Nanjing Duck over there! ”

Our conservative-libertarian correspondent has stumbled upon some "redacted" searches that would have made the top 1,000, but totally never happened according to Google. That, or Google deflected and credited these to being among Bing's top searches:

  • Trump Fries
  • Wait, was Trump actually right?
  • Trump assassination attempt
  • Badass picture of Trump raising fist
  • MAGA
  • Trump Dance
  • Is Kamala actually black?
  • What has Kamala actually done?
  • Kamala and Trump both suck
  • Holy shit, Kamala might actually be worse than Trump!
  • Holy smokes, JD Vance might not be that bad!
  • Why is inflation so damn high?
  • Why is everything so damn expensive?
  • Hurricane Helene relief
  • Tampon Tim
  • Tim Walz China links
  • Tim Walz friends with school shooters
  • Stop showing Taylor Swift so much on my damn football game!
  • Taylor Swift childless cat lady
  • Taylor Swift sucks, Hailee Steinfeld is better
  • Nick Bosa MAGA
  • Caitlin Clark
  • Joe Rogan show
    • Joe Rogan Trump interview
    • Why is Kamala bailing on Joe Rogan

Sources[edit | edit source]

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For more fake news on this topic, read: Top Google searches show world stupid
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