UnNews:Biden shits himself!
Monday, October 28, 2024
Recently, a disgusting stench has filled the White House to the unpleasant surprise of those that were working there. Joe Biden, current President of the United States, was sighted shitting himself an ungodly amount in the Oval Office.
Biden had allegedly been holding in his poo for 5 weeks due to boycotting the toilets in the White House. When asked by his aides to "please go to the bathroom and stop eating that garbage," Biden snapped back "YOU KNOW WHAT THE REAL GARBAGE IS? Those Skibidi Toilets everyone is harping about! I'm gonna keep boycotting them by not taking a deuce in any toilet." This comment would later upset the Skibidi Toilet community, pushing them towards the Republican vote. Biden's insistence on holding in his poo led to the shitty disaster we witnessed in the last 72 hours; according to medical experts, his anal sphincter has stopped working properly, which is what has caused this quite unusual event to happen.
UnNews managed to sneak inside the White House and, after running away from several FBI agents, we got to interview one of the janitors that had the misfortune to work that day. This is what the janitor had to say: "Dude, there was so much shit. Trump had a good point about this old bastard. I cannot believe it. His fucking seat was just brown. The GODDAMN TABLES WERE BROWN! THE WINDOWS TOO! God, I hope he can find a new suit. I heard his shit exited his body at such a massive rate it tore a hole IN THE PANTS! And the stench..."
Truly shocking, especially after he has been criticized constantly for being an incompetent boob with dementia. The shitting was also so loud it has been reported that the shockwave was strong enough to shatter the windows as far as New York City, and 15 citizens have been confirmed to be severly injured after having passed besides it. Truly a shocking event.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "White House tries to clean up Biden's 'shitty' moment as Trump seizes on it" ABC News, October 30, 2024
