Nantucket

Nantucket, the home of a genitally infamous man.

“I must confess, I had no idea that my brief sojourn on that island would have such an enduring impact on American poetry.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Nantucket is an island off the coast of Massachusetts. It is notable for being the home of a man with an extraordinarily long penis, as well as other individuals with similarly tremendous features and sexual appetites.

The sexual exploits of these noteworthy residents have been commemorated in iconic poems, which stand as some of the most lauded and widely read in America.

Poetry

There are hundreds of iconic, award-winning poems about the unusual residents of Nantucket. Examples include:

“

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a twat, then I'd fuck it!"

”

The man's bucket, partly full.

“

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who shot all his cum in a bucket.
He added his slop
Until it reached the top,
And then at his foes he would chuck it.

”

“

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept a pet turkey to fuck it,
And, after its bum
Was filled with his cum,
Said "I've flavored the bird - now to pluck it!"

”

“

There once was a dame from Nantucket
Whose ear was so wide you could fuck it.
But she lost her eardrum
From all of the cum
That shot down her ear hole and struck it.

”

What the man's dick looks like before he plucks his pubes.

“

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick hair was long, so he'd pluck it.
For when it grew long,
It buried his dong
Like the husk of some corn, so he'd shuck it.

”

“

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He'd let people watch
As he'd play with his crotch,
Then swallow his dick and gluck-gluck it.

”

Sex Tourism

Most tourists arrive on Nantucket via yacht and park their boat outside one of the island's many brothels.

The presence of so many individuals with unusual body features and sexual practices has led to the development of a booming sex tourism industry on Nantucket. Due to the extremely high demand for lodging and sex acts, only the wealthiest of Americans can afford to travel to Nantucket and partake in its sexual delights. These select few include CEOs, politicians, actors, and star athletes.

Many US presidents developed their sexual appetites on Nantucket and later invited its well-endowed residents to state dinners at the White House, which has traditionally been painted white using the semen of Nantucket residents.

There is so much unmet demand for the semen of Nantucket residents that a bottled drink company known as Nantucket Nectars exists to sell Nantucket residents' semen to Americans nationwide. These bottles are filled by two Nantucket residents with extremely capacious testicles.