Forum:Dare to Compare:Benson vs. Ouroboros

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WARNING! This page contains profuse whining by DiZ. Proceed with caution.

Time and time again, I have asked myself, why do people worship this "Benson" and not Ouroboros, or one of the other great deities the world's religions have to offer? This couldn't possibly be why:

Dare to Compare:

Ouroboros	BENSON
Wields omnipotent strength.	Isn't even admin.
Has existed since the dawn of time and space and will continue to exist long after the destruction of this world and the next.	Has been a user since, what, 2006?
Eats its own body, representative of the eternal cyclicality of the Universe.	Swallows his own bullshit, representative of the eternal stupidity of his own little world.
Smites indefinitely.	Babbles incessantly.
Has 500,000+ followers worldwide, and the number is growing every day.	Has Crazyswordsman, Nintendorulez...and a couple other losers.
Worshipped and revered by Ouroboroists, alchemists, druids, Wiccans, the ancient Greeks, and Buddhist monks.	Worshipped and revered by some smelly virgins that live in their basement.

Final Score

Ouroboros: 1
BENSON: nothing.

So tell me, what the hell is so great about Benson? --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:23, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

DiZ? I'd loan you my bunker on account of you're going to need it once BHOP's through with you, but to be honest, you have it coming to you. —Major Sir Hinoa prepare for trouble • make it double? 17:29, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

It's a damn shame really. —Braydie 17:32, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Aw shit, what did I get myself into this time? D-: --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:34, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Hmm, well you've got yourself into many things. Firstly, —Braydie 18:05, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

BOOM Goes the DiZ!

BOOM goes DiZ!

High^General _Grue

This comparison reeks of infidelic bias

--General Insineratehymn 17:27, 19 February 2007 (UTC) PS. Ouroboros is a gay donut.

Ouroboros is a perfectly heterosexual donut! --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:34, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

NO HE'S NOT! HE IS A GAY DONUT! --General Insineratehymn 17:37, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

HOW DARE YOU?! HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!

OUROBOROS IS THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE.

THE HETEROSEXUAL, KRISPY-FROSTED CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE!!--Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:42, 19 February 2007 (UTC) !!!!!!

I'M DOING PERFECTLY FINE, THANK YOU! --General Insineratehymn 17:45, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

HOW IS YOUR MOTHER DOING?! --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:47, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

HOW IS YOUR MOTHER DOING?! --General Insineratehymn 17:47, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

FINE, THANK YOU! SHE JUST RETURNED FROM A TRIP!! --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:57, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

I've made my own comparison

Ouroboros	BENSON
Is a gay donut.	IS BETTER THAN YOU!
Is teh gay.	Is a lady's man.
Is a hideous reptile.	Is a handsome human.
Only thing it knows how to do is eat itself.	Can do anything.

Therefore:

Benson	Infinity
Ouroboros	Jack shit

--General Insineratehymn 17:31, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Excuse me, does Benson eat his own tail? I don't think so. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:36, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

So what? Eating your own tail is what gay donuts do. --General Insineratehymn 17:37, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Benson wishes he was a gay donut. Well, he's halfway there. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:42, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

If Ouroboros is gay, that makes you gay too! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! --General Insineratehymn 17:46, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Ha, you wish I was gay, don't you? --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:47, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Yes you are. --General Insineratehymn 17:48, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

David Blaine can eat his own head. Think about it. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 18:00, 19 Feb 2007

Shit, that's true. Yeah, but David Blaine can't eat his own tail. I mean, who wants to eat their own head anyway? --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 18:03, 19 February 2007 (UTC) I kinda do... :-(

BENSON is cool- but one must admit that ouroboros, being a self-consuming serpent, is reasonably cool as well. I suppose that I really have no opinion. In any case, DiZ is one of the bravest (or perhaps dumbest) users I have ever seen. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 21:42, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Why DiZ, that sounds like it all checks out. 'Cept for one thing: this picture! The true Ouroboros! Looks like everybody else was right about him being a gay donut. Wait a second: DiZ, is that you on the left sucking out his cream filling? DiZ, I didn't know you were into eating deities! I'll make sure to stay away from you for now on! Benson 21:56, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Benson, you're hardly a deity. I've seen more divinity and omnipotence in a sack of flour. And not even good flour. Generic stuff. Publix-brand shit. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:24, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Dare to Compare:

Trifle	BENSON
Brings happiness to millions and can be eaten with a spoon.	Isn't even admin.
Has a nice cream topping and often features a sprinkling of hundreds and thousands.	Has been a user since, what, 2006?
Is packed with custard.	Swallows his own bullshit, representative of the eternal stupidity of his own little world.
Contains fruit.	Babbles incessantly.
Has 500,000+ followers worldwide, and the number is growing every day.	Has Crazyswordsman, Nintendorulez...and a couple other losers.
Worshipped and revered by Ouroboroists, alchemists, druids, Wiccans, the ancient Greeks, and Buddhist monks.	Worshipped and revered by some smelly virgins that live in their basement.

Final Score

Trifle: 1
BENSON: nothing.

So tell me, what the hell is so great about Benson? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy - (Ring for service) 22:14, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Wow, Hardick Fugglebunny (BENSON can't be bothered to learn your full name, so feel free to edit my post to correct my spelling), what a creative idea! You took DiZ's thing, copied it, but changed half of it! You are so outrageous! Honestly, you're so clever! You took someone else's thing, but changed half of it, making it completely original! You should have your own show! You're crazy, man! Benson 22:24, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Dare to Compare:

Krill	BENSON
Important organisms of the zooplankton, particularly as food for baleen whales, mantas, whale sharks, crabeater seals and other seals, and a few seabird species that feed almost exclusively on them.	Isn't even admin.
Occur worldwide in all oceans; most species have transoceanic distribution and several species have endemic or neritic restricted distribution.	Has been a user since, what, 2006?
Many krill are filter feeders: their front-most extremities, the thoracopods, form very fine combs with which they can filter out their food from the water.	Swallows his own bullshit, representative of the eternal stupidity of his own little world.
Except for the Bentheuphausia amblyops species, krill are bioluminescent animals having organs called photophores that are able to emit light.	Babbles incessantly.
Has been harvested as a food source for both humans (okiami) and their domesticated animals since the 19th century, in Japan maybe even earlier.	Has Crazyswordsman, Nintendorulez...and a couple other losers.
Worshipped and revered by Ouroboroists, alchemists, druids, Wiccans, the ancient Greeks, and Buddhist monks.	Worshipped and revered by some smelly virgins that live in their basement.

Final Score

Krill: 1
BENSON: nothing.

So tell me, what the hell is so great about Benson? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy - (Ring for service) 23:10, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

That is enough, Hardwick. Your tables grow trite. Though I applaud your pedantism on the last one. Marine microfauna are quite interesting. Perhaps you could think of something else? After all, a writer of your caliber must certainly have more than one idea. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 23:28, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

I wouldn't be so sure. But yeah, krill are pretty cool. Almost as cool as BENSON. Benson 00:29, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

I'd agree with Benson on that one. Krill are great marine animals. —Braydie 08:03, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Dare to Compare:

Modusoperandi	BENSON
Couldn't even be bothered to finish a...

Final Sco...

What's-his-name: ...
THE OTHER GUY: ...

So tell me, what the hell were we talking about? --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:09, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Of course! That's the fake Benson! No wonder you beat him! --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:06, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Obviously. Even I know that the genuine Benson is uncomparable.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:05, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

What this loser says:

It's a case of simple logic. Ouroboros and BENSON are playing a game of golf. That's why Ouroburos has one point and BENSON doesn't have any. BENSON is the only golfer to have scored a perfect zero in a game. Even Tiger Woods can't comprehend BENSON's golfing skills. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:05, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Well, there's a simple reason behind that; Ouroboros has no hands. How do you expect Ouroboros to play golf without hands eh? Golf is a minor demi-god's game. Real deities play checkers. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:27, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

And you need hands to play Checkers. Unless you're BENSON. BENSON can arrange the board however he pleases. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:11, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

But does your Benson know the long-forgotten secret held captive by the Atlanteans, passed down to the Thessalonians; the secret of the one-move victory and the inevitable afterparty that is to ensue Ouroboros' victory? I think not. And when Ouroboros has had his way with your puny Benson, he will proceed to steal your girlfriend/wife/crush/sex partner and move into your house, looting your plasma screen television and raiding your fridge, etc. etc. And when all is said and done, Benson is still a mere mortal, barely a challenge for the Great and Powerful Ouroboros. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:23, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

But even if Ouroboros does all of that, it will never hide the fact of how much of a gay donut Ouroboros is! --General Insineratehymn 02:29, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Ouroboros is asexual. Nontheless, we are all His children. And even if Ouroboros were gay, that makes you a homophobe. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 20:08, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

I am not Ouroboros' child. And yes, I am a homophobe. --General Insineratehymn 22:54, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Because you're insecure concerning your own sexual orientation? Or because you hate fags? --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:40, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Because I hate fags. Fred Phelps rules! --General Insineratehymn 03:41, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Did our canoe trip mean nothing to you?! /me runs away, crying like a little girl. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:45, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

I have never heard of this Orobokowhatshisname

Therefore, BENSON wins. --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 07:58, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

BENSON always wins, because he deserves to. Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 14:03, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Benson wins because you want him to win. This "BENSON" does not even exist. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:33, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

In that case, shouldn't your table read:

Ouroboros

Wields omnipotent strength.

Has existed since the dawn of time and space and will continue to exist long after the destruction of this world and the next.

Eats its own body, representative of the eternal cyclicality of the Universe.

Smites indefinitely.

Has 500,000+ followers worldwide, and the number is growing every day.

Worshipped and revered by Ouroboroists, alchemists, druids, Wiccans, the ancient Greeks, and Buddhist monks.

Final Score

Ouroboros: 1
Pointlessness of one-column table: 42

-- (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 00:37, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Hmm, Ouroboros. Isn't he on a Magic card? "Crush them!" That sounds kind of like BENSON. User:Mrthejazz/sig 00:39, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Of course that table makes more sense, Ouroboros is incomparable, unsurpassable, unparalleled, inscrutible, unrivaled, inexorable. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:25, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

No amount of adjectives can cover up the fact of how much of a gay donut Ouroboros is! --General Insineratehymn 01:07, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

And no amount of buttons on your signature can cover up the fact of how insecure you are with your sexual orientation. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 20:09, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

At least my signature if fancier than yours. --General Insineratehymn 22:52, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Oh, poor lost soul. :-( How you must hide behind your signature for fear of facing the world and your true emotions. I am a man of Ouroboros, not these worldy signatures. I need not a thousand links to random pages with fancy buttons and colorful displays; nay, a red-white-and-blue color scheme with the flag of my ancestors and a simple command or three in parantheses is enough. I live the simple life. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:38, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

If you really care about your gay donut that much, then I believe you will be outraged to find this quote:

“Ouroboros is dead”

~ Friedrich Nietzsche on Ouroboros

--General Insineratehymn 15:26, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Ouroboros is not dead. He's locked up in Eminem's basement. Eating His tail most likely. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 19:48, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Is he also giving blow-jobs to Eminem? --General Insineratehymn 04:25, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

O RLY?

Diz	BENSON
Can't pick up a feather.	Will rule the world.
Has existed since whenever.	Has been a user since, what, 2006 ?
Eats his own foot. (Keep it in your Anti-Benson mouth)	Eats whatever he wants.
Dies by grue instantly.	Rules Uncyclopedia since sliced bread.
Has nothing, not even the kitchen sink.	Has Crazyswordsman, Nintendorulez...and a couple other losers.
Worshipped by nobody.	Worshipped and revered by some of the best people, such as Oscar Wilde.

Final Score

You: -1
Benson: Infinity times 9

High^General _Grue

This is awesome. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 03:23, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

I wholeheartedly agree. --Anyone 15:42, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Ha! What is this? "not even the kitchen sink"? I'll have you know I have two kitchen sinks. Take that, biotch. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:17, 21 February 2007 (UTC) P.S. The Z in my name is capitaliZed. Conform or die.

Never! High^General _Grue P.S. You can't kill me, i'm a grue, who apparently, has eaten you.

hI guise. aYe should win yore comparison because aYe breathe fire and hAve an adjustable knob. eWesey a tax on any further tAbles cOmparing BENSON to pEople, pLaces, and tHings. aYe like hiss moxie thO. Alksub - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 05:42, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Adjustable knob, eh? BENSON has to get one of those. By the way: Gen. Grue, are you in the League of BENSON? Would you like to be in? If so, tell BENSON on his talk page. If not, then BENSON was just joking... ha ha?! Benson 20:35, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Actually, yes, you are so much better than me, I want to join and show you are better. I'll notify you on your talk page. High^General _Grue

hI guise. yOre topic isn't just gOofy. eWesey that if oUroboros stopped eating hIss own bOdy, hE could bE after in BENSON, eWe knO? Alksub - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 01:14, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

What are you saying?? --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:46, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Dare to compare:

Jacques Pirat	BENSON
Owner/admin of 7 websites - 6 of them wikis or containing a wiki.	Isn't even an admin of one website.
Has existed on this site since 2006 or so.	Has been a user since, what, 2006?
Play's devil's advocate	Swallows his own bullshit, representative of the eternal stupidity of his own little world.
Pirate	BENSON
Has at least 6-7 "followers" throughout his websites with 4 known	Has Crazyswordsman, Nintendorulez...and a couple other losers.
Over the need of worship	Worshipped and revered by some smelly virgins that live in their basement.

Jocke Pirat: 1

Benson: 2 or something like that from what I see above

=P

--~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

03:34, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

I'm not a virgin (seriously, I'm, not!), nor do I smell, nor do I have a basement. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 07:03, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Dare to compare:

Zerotrousers	BENSON
Isn't even admin.	Isn't even admin.
Has been a user since, what, 2007?	Has been a user since, what, 2006?
Swallows his own bullshit, representative of the eternal stupidity of his own little world.	Swallows his own bullshit, representative of the eternal stupidity of his own little world.
Babbles incessantly	Babbles incessantly.
Has no-one...and a couple other losers.	Has Crazyswordsman, Nintendorulez...and a couple other losers.
Worshipped and revered by some smelly virgins that live in their basement.	Worshipped and revered by some smelly virgins that live in their basement.

So tell me, what the hell is so great about Benson?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 07:25, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

He is better. High^General _Grue

Better than whom, exactly? Whom are you referring to? Zerotrousers? Ouroboros (whom, despite his status as a gay donut, is still reasonably cool- he is a giant snake, after all)? Krill? Or just everyone in general? Meh. I suppose it doesn't matter. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 01:47, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

All jokes aside, though

Even though I don't agree with him, and I'm still against religion in general, I salute DiZ for following his own faith and not the teachings of an organized religion. That said, GHEY D0NUTz! -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 03:36, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Absolutely. We need to respect DiZ's differences. After all, the religion of BENSON is about spreading love. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 07:38, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

And DiZ's religion is about spreading prejudice against the religion of BENSON. --General Insineratehymn 15:24, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Is DiZ trying to take Nin's place? He isn't doing a very good job of it... --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 15:44, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

DiZ can't even flame in a funny way like Nintendorulez. --General Insineratehymn 16:25, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Three points to make concerning the above comments:

1. Ouroboroism isn't about spreading prejudice, it's about spreading Ouroboros' Message of brotherhood and prosperity (and tail-eating). If you have to crack a few skull to get His word across, it's totally justified. Oh, and by the way, since when has Bensonism been about love? Since when has Bensonism been about anything? All BENSON has done is gloat, and lord over his little "House of Pancakes". What the hell has BENSON done that makes him so praiseworthy?
2. No, I am not trying to take Nin's place. I'm not even sure what Nin's place was. I might be doing so unknowingly; if so, I don't care what kind of job I'm doing. This is a sinful place and it must be purified.
3. Insineratehymn, don't talk to me about unfunny flaming. You're not doing much better. Besides, I don't flame for the jokes, I do it for my beliefs. And the chicks. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:56, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Lord Fluffy cannot decide whether or not DiZ is serious. Either way, though, I find this entire forum topic to be highly entertaining. I nominate it to be one of the best forum topics ever. But seriously- I thought BENSONism was about pancakes. What's all this about love? --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 17:16, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

I do love pancakes... Though donuts are much tastier. /me claims this forum for Dunkin Donuts. LONG LIVE THE MUNCHKINS! --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 19:46, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

In response to DiZ's stupid list of infidelity:

1. By saying you have to bash a few skulls to get your word across, you have shown that you are as bad as the christians during the crusades, and all christians are 73|-| 5|_|><><0|2z. Therefore, this makes YOU 73|-| 5|_|><><0|2z. Bensonism has never been about love. Since you say that Ouroboros is about love, you have shown that Ouroboros is dead. Ouroboros died because he had pity for man. Benson does not have pity for ANY man. He knows that pity is for those who are below him, because Benson is better than you!
2. Perhaps people WANT to live in sin. Have you ever thought of that!? Leave these people alone and do not make any attempt to convert them, lest you want to feel the wrath of Benson's many followers!
3. At least I'm doing a better job at flaming than you! --General Insineratehymn 03:18, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

>cough cough<...If I may:

1. I have pity for Bensonites...I'm still alive, last time I checked. And so is Ouroboros. Oh, and Benson is a delusional narcissist.
2. Ever thought that maybe those people don't know what's best for themselves? They need to find Ouroboros.
3. To your last rebutal...."Ha, hahahaha!" Keep dreaming. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 17:26, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

If you've noticed, we've made a few "changes" --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 20:19, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

Now kids, if you can't get along, you won't be allowed to play together anymore. Don't make me turn this car around.... And you shouldn't be playing with matches, anyway. Surely a god can stand on his own, but kids will be kids. I just don't understand this new generation. Have you heard their music? Why, in my day.... "Blessings on your alley." - from Bruce Almighty (How utterly ironic.) Hate is easier, but is it funny? I think that bullies (those resorting to Proof By Intimidation) are unfunny and bornig. And I don't like them. I suppose it's funny to make fun of those who had to ride the "short" bus to school, but doncha git tarred uv dooin it? It's just a gimmick: think up a god (imaginary friend) and pit him against BENSON. Is all that anger funny? To quote my son, "Waah! They killed my parents!" (about Harry Potter) That was my watch alarm just now. They're coming to give me my medications. Maybe I'll have a nap, especially if I read any more of this pissing contest.--Schizo Master 17:56, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

I don't know what you said, but you're right. Who needs all this hatred and anger? I think we all should all hold hands, Ouroboroists and Bensonites and everyone else alike, and sing an anti-Semitic hymn. After all, those greedy Jews are the real enemy. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:56, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

There was a point here somewhere, but I missed it. Hope it wasn't too funny. I hate it when the funny stuff goes over my head. I have a real problem with touching things, so I'll pass on the hand-holding, but you go ahead. Remember to breathe. I think I read that somewhere. I could suggest a prayer, but that probably isn't funny. The real enemies are the squirrels. They don't have a god, so you have to hate each one them separately. A demanding job, but I'm up to it! Fuzzy little shits, running around whispering, trying to take over the world. Just wait till the end of the age, then they'll show their true colors and give people vicious bites on the ankles. It's said that they can control humans telepathically, so be careful. They could be controlling anyone. Oops! It's already past the end of the age. Too late! I have a solution, convert them all to worshiping some rodent god and then talk them to death!--Schizo Master 22:53, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

 Is this a good place to mention the c***l?--Schizo Master 14:15, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

HOW DARE YOU!

How dare you slander BENSON! He is the one true prophet of awesome! Civilizations have risen and fallen in his name! BENSON is the supreme Uncyclopedian, and nothing you heathens say will change it! --Emmzee 14:26, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

Whoa. Haven't seen one of those in a long time. Sadly, we don't do that anymore though. Although we should be allowed to do it in User:Benson/forum, which was created specifically for that purpose. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 15:54, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

Really? I thought those were common. --206.211.69.253 16:19, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

That was me from school, forgot to log in. --Emmzee 16:21, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

I'm glad that Samuel L. Jackson was willing to carry that whole looking-like-BENSON burden for the rest of us. But BENSON was invisible, I thought. Just can't find good help these days. Have a nice does not-exist c***l anyone? But consider Ouroboros not annihilating itself but giving birth to itself - the beginning of donuts, specifically Dunkin Donuts where they put too much cream in your coffee. Not those monstrous Krispy Kreme that are spreading like Walmart. What was I talking about? BENSON giving birth to himself or Ouroboros looking like Samuel L. Jackson?--Schizo Master 01:52, 3 March 2007 (UTC)

my own comparison

*CENSORED*	DiZ
Whores his beliefs on the forums.	Whores his beliefs on the forums.
Insults BENSON.	Insults BENSON.
Engages in flamewars spanning multiple pages.	Engages in flamewars spanning multiple pages.
Worshipped by nobody.	Worshipped by nobody.
Has become infamous among Bensonites.	Has become infamous among Bensonites.

Final score:

• *CENSORED* = 0
• DiZ = 0

Well, it's a tie, I guess... I guess you're just as good as him. --» >UF|TLK|▋» 01:52, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

You son of a bitch. I am not as bad as CENSORED!! Oh, and worshipped by nobody? Think again. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:19, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

Why the hell do we have to censor that guy's name? --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 16:42, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

Cause he's a CENSORED CENSORED who killed my father. And [goshdarnit], I'm not gonna let him soil the name of Ouroboros! Do you hear me, you motherCENSORED, you're dead to me!! --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:48, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

The reason why that guy's name is censored is because he is P*w*rsh*t. (you fill in the asterisks) --General Insineratehymn 16:50, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

:-O, oh snap. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:53, 4 March 2007 (UTC)