User talk:Dannehvirus

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Welcome, initiate, to Uncyclopedia![edit]

Father Why.jpg
Father Why do I need to provide this? welcomes you to the wondrous world of Uncyclopedia!

Greetings, Initiate Dannehvirus, and welcome to the Temple of Uncyclopedia! (If you aren't yet ready to accept Sophia as your Holy Potato, see your alternate secular welcome).

Thank you for your current and future contributions, assuming, of course, you aren't possessed with the spirit of a vandal. I pray that you have a long, happy and productive life here. But if you really want to leave, you can pass through the door that says "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here." But I wouldn't recommend it.


This series consists of six lessons designed to Uncyclopedically guide you, the new believer, to living the life that would be pleasing to Sophia. These lessons will show that Sophia has given the new Uncyclopedian specific instructions as to how to live the very best life here possible, which means avoiding getting ceremoniously fried in boiling oil. (We don't really do that. Honest. Would I lie?)

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. And please read a few featured articles so you can see what's considered the best here (make sure you find the featured version). If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your Sophiacal creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Dannehvirus/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold, cruel world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - on the top of it.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, you might browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid of the unknown depths - dive right in!

Plus you can find suggestions for lots of fun and fulfilling things to do in community service.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. I was an adopted noob, and it kept me out of trouble. Well, some of the time. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to apply to be adopted. Again, welcome!  Father Why do I need to provide this?, humble rector of the University of Our Lady of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Father WHY??? (confessions)  aka King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:54, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry you haven't gotten officially welcomed til now--see my explanation here under "Read Featured Articles (look for the link to the featured version)". Also in regard to your question about what to write about, the old chestnut answer is write what you know. If you are looking for inspiration, though, click on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles to the left of your screen (or click on the link I provided). I hope that helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:02, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks everybody. All hail Sophia. Dannehvirus 22:17, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

When I Got Punk'D[edit]

Apparently I'm hated in just about every corner of this Wiki.

I was looking through the forums and found this ridiculous one where everyone was flaming me charcoal black. Trillions of fresh n00bs signing up on Uncyclopedia and I was picked out of every damn one of them. There are people a lot stupider than me, folks.

Y'know, people writing, "OMG I PWND ALL DOSE n00bz ded!!!!111!!" or something similar. I don't write that shit. Obviously that kind of mindless white noise is more tolerable than my stuff, WHICH ACTUALLY RESEMBLES SOME FORM OF F..KING ENGLISH.

Yeah, I'm arragont. Yeah, I'm a braggart. Yeah, I'm a little OTT. But so are a lot of other people. I'm just another member of the crowd.

Think about that before you ban me.

You got punked[edit]

The page you found, the ban page, has one name set up with a code that shows the user name of the person looking at it. When I look at it it will say my name. This is one of the inside jokes of uncy, you got caught in it, and reacted accordingly. So don't take it personally, because it wasn't. Now who knows, you may be a good user and a good writer, you surely are studying hard. Once again, it was not about you, but people will get a chuckle out of your reaction---and you should too. Now, write at least a midsize article, put a construction template on it, and have fun. Aleister in Chains The Day after tomorrow, MMX


...Damn. Dannehvirus 04:47, January 7, 2010 (UTC)


You got kinda pwnd there, dude. ;D Regarding your UnBooks wish, though, I'm writing one in my userspace if you wanna help with that. Just remember that articles need to maintain a constant point of view, if you do decide to edit it. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 03:16, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

Hey we wrote some stuff:[edit]

On your article's discussion page and it included this:

Ahem, Mainspace is the big dark world out beyond Userspace. (Careful, thugs and grues live there.) In order to avoid having your article huffed you may have to carry your own oxygen supply.
Userspace is the magically delicious world of gumdrops and rainbows wherein you have complete control of everything you write, create or spawn; and it will live forever and ever and happily ever after (unless you ASK for it to go away). Leaving your poor defenseless articles in Mainspace may cause terrible heartache or the consumption of your soul if they haven't been properly brought up to face the world. (If you feel your little guy might not do so well on his own then you can always invade the talk portion of another's userspace to beg for assistance.)
Good luck & Godspeed. I hope this hleps.

So, like... you should check it out.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280.jpg ~  16 Jan 2010 ~ 21:50 (UTC)

Also this happened[edit]

So you're not the only one.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280.jpg ~  16 Jan 2010 ~ 21:50 (UTC)

Thanks Happytimes, but I figure the whole thing turned out pretty funny, so I've kept it on there. Dannehvirus 21:42, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
I got fooled like that before, then I relieze It was fake.--Grue ApocalypseDirectorEye 4.gifWILLExplode 3.GIFYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 23:24, January 18, 2010 (UTC)


You've mainspaced your book! I shall now read it. Yay. Al Chains Now, MMX

Hooray! I done a thing! Enjoy. Dannehvirus 02:39, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Dannehvirus![edit]

I just made you a custom signature in your userspace. It looks like this:

2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg

To use it, go to your preferences and in the signature box, put in {{SUBST:Nosubst|User:Dannehvirus/sig}} and remember to check the box saying "custom signature". Then just save the changes and purge your browsers' cache. Continue signing your posts normally, with four tildes ( just put ~~~~). AND REMEMBER THE SUBST:Nosubst| BIT! :-) --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 01 22, 04:46, 2010

Cool! I like it! So, Preferences, then I paste that other doodad in, then I check that box, then I save it, then sign it with {{SUBST:Nosubst|User:Dannehvirus/sig}}. But IFGM-sensei, do I always have to put the "nowiki" thing with the arrows on? 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 04:51, January 22, 2010
You should be not using the "nowiki thing with the arrows" at all. I was intending that you use the code displayed on the page itself, not the code in the edit window! Be careful about the "nowiki thing", it isn't intended to be used often, okay? --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 01 22, 05:01, 2010
Ah, ok. Let's test it out... 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 05:06, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Yes! You got it! Good job, my little nooblet! --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 01 22, 05:08, 2010
AHAHAHAHAH! Thanks v. v. v. much, IFGM-sensei! (Here it is again! :-))2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 05:13, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Spiritual Noob Ninjastar[edit]

Sonje created this ninjastar award and I made the image (by cutting and pasting other people's work). It honors deserving Noobs, especially those who contributed enough to be worthy of NotM but didn't get it because they were up against another Noob who was worthy of NotM and did get it. So congratulations! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:35, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks very much, everyone! I'll wield it with pride! 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 09:59, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
By the way, you certainly don't have to, but you can copy the award to your main user page if you'd like. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:23, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
Eh, once I'm OFFICIALLY back in April somewhere, I'll tidy it all up. 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 06:24, March 14, 2010 (UTC)


SAFPAS.png For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

Back To Work, Lazy-Ass[edit]

I'm back to kick ass, take names and have strange encounters with cows once again, everyone! Now I want to have a look through the requested articles for some brain food. 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 01:15, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Damn, Why's It So Quiet In Here?[edit]

Because I've been very, very busy and have not generated much Uncyc output. I apologize and BTW, where the hell is IFGM-sensei?! 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 06:57, May 28, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome back[edit]

or something.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280.jpg ~  29 Jun 2010 ~ 04:47 (UTC)

Thanks very much[edit]

or something. 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 02:22, July 7, 2010 (UTC)


Danneh HAS COME BACK to Un-CYC-lo-PEEEEEEEEDIAAAAAAA! Here's the story pending. 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 03:25, November 25, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for voting for me for Noob Of The Month![edit]

Pizza delivery1.jpg Thanks For Voting For Me For Noob Of The Month

As a reward, you get one of my pizzas!

Thanks for voting for me for Noob Of The Month. --PopGoesTheWeasel drank this 04:36, November 29, 2011 (UTC)

No problem, bro. 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 03:24, December 5, 2011 (UTC)

A belated thank-you from an inveterate procrastinator[edit]

Time bomb.jpg

Greetings, Dannehvirus. You voted for me on POTM for November, and also for UnNews:Son_of_Gaddafi_caught_attempting_to_enter_Canada on VFH. Now, obviously it's been a while since this happened. However, I figured that, while it can be too late to ask for forgiveness, it is never too late to give thanks.

Once again, thank you, and my apologies for not thanking you sooner. This impersonal, auto-generated message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jan 4 '12 11:27 (UTC)


Hi, and good to "see" you! I remember the good times well, esp. that time I punked you and you screamed like a little girl. How have you been? I'll be really interested in seeing how your writing has matured or immatured. Yay DHV! Aleister Russian Christmas '12

I assure you, I have immatured into a fine little annoying prat. You'll be very proud. 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 23:01, January 9, 2012 (UTC)

One more thing...[edit]

Saying that makes me feel like Columbo. No problem with the review. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it. I meant to mention this before, but long words can be a pain in the bum. If you are using extremely long words, best to wrap them in <span style="word-wrap: break-word;">long word and it will do this:

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooord

Obviously there's a few more o's in that example. Pup 02:08 25 Jan '12

liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss? 2K12_DAN.VRS Bacteriophage.jpg 05:33, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
Close, but not quite. Pup 06:14 25 Jan '12