User:Gilgal1/Abu Sayyaf
Allah himself has claimed that he loves his article and that it will not be destroyed like an infidel dog. Furthermore, the Jihad that was placed on this article has now been removed and its author will be proclaimed Muhammad. Fortunately, this article is sufficiently clothed and will not be blamed if it is raped.
| Abu Sayyaf | |
|---|---|
| Headquarters | ABS-CBN |
| Manpower | |
| Active personnel | 1991–present |
The Abu Sayyaf or the Abu Sayyaf Group (جماعة أبو سياف or some squiggly-wiggly Arabic Script-ish shit ) is a group of Islamic pranksters based in the southern islands of the Philippines. Inspired by MTV's Punk'd, Abu Sayyaf is oftenly dubbed and mistaken for an Islamic Extremist/Terrorist group by right-wing western countries like the United States of America, because they don't find Islamic-inspired practical jokes funny especially when they are in the receiving end of the prank.
Abu Sayyaf has carried out countless numbers of hilarious Islamic pranks since its debut in Al Jazeera during the '90s, which included comedic bombings, scripted rape and extortion, and simulated assasinations. It's founder, Khadafy "I-swear-in-the-name-of-Allah-that-was-funny" Janjalalaki, is also popularly known as the Ashton Kutcher of the God forsaken island of Basilan - a small, stinky and pork infested island in the southern part of the Philippines.
Early Beginnings[edit | edit source]
Inspired by MTV's Punk'd during the late 90's, Khadafy, together with his brother Abdul Jakul Janjalalaki decided to produce and host a hidden camera/practical joke show in the Philippines called Haram'd. As the show's name implies, Khadafy and Abdul Jakul targeted their Muslim brothers, wherin they replace their food with pork products. After their victim realize what is going on, Khadafy and Abdul Jakul reveal themselves and shout "You've been Haram'd my beloved Muslim brother!".
The show did not get a favorable response with the 'Organization of Islamic Countries or OIC, because we all know that it is Haram to eat any pork products, particularly bacon. The show was cancelled after its first season in Al Jazeera.
Epiphany, Resurgence and the Birth of Abu Sayyaf[edit | edit source]
It was not until September 11, 2001 that the career of the Janjalalaki brothers were revived. The two brothers watched in awe as the two planes crashed into the World Trade Center. The 9/11 prank was orchestrated by their colleague and fellow prankster Ramzi Yousef, who works for the reality/prank show "Death to America 2000", which is produced by international Islamic conglomerate called Al-Qaeda.
"This has to be the greatest and most hilarious prank of all time! And what made it more hilarious is that it targeted not our Muslim brothers but the infidel Christians!", said Khadafy in an interview with Saudi's leading tabloid newspaper Death to America and Some Other News.
After several years of unemployment, the brothers are back on track. The brothers produced a new show called Abu Sayyaf, which means "It's just a joke you infidel" in Arabic. They gained the approval of the OIC and they were back on air in Al Jazeera in no-time. The show follows the same format as Punk'd, Haram'd and Death to America 2000 with a little touch of Scare Tactics. The targets are innocent and unsuspecting Filipino Christians.
The Janjalalaki brothers announced "You've been Sayyaf'd!" at the end of each carefully planned prank, sending the unsuspecting Christian trembling with fear, even after realizing it was all a joke.
The show went on with bombings during the first season, and reached its all-time high in the ratings when they staged a kidnapping that involved several American tourists in the southern island of Palawan. Their kidnapping prank lasted for weeks, nearly escalating into a full scale war with the government troops, before they announced that it was all a joke. The show is still on air and has gained a cult following in Muslim fundamentalist communities, because of the notoriety and complexity of the Janjalalaki brothers' pranks, as well as the morals for each prank as dictated by the Qu'ran.
