UnNews:Religion Section

Toast seen in face of Jesus TORONTO – A recent study finds that the resemblance of toast can be found on the face of Jesus in several pictures. Most of us have seen the face of Ronald Mc Donald in the randomly distributed rocks of the Martian surface, the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich or the Mona Lisa in yo' Mama’s pubic hair. Faces are everywhere thanks to millions of years of evolution wiring our brains to spot them. Now, scientists at the University of Toronto have shown that this Pareidolia effect works two ways. Read more... The Pope Finally Came! Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - Yesterday marked the close of Pope Francis' first and possibly only US tour. It has been such a privilege to welcome the Pope into our bosom as a great nation, and embrace his full-frontal assault of Catholicism in collective spiritual and existential awe. Proud to bring you rolling coverage of the Pope's historic tour we're dubbing, Papal Smear, UnNews has been working tirelessly around the clock for the past eight days. During this visit, we witnessed many miracles of good portent and peaceful gatherings en masse, a truly rare occasion for both inner-city Philadelphia and the entire island of Cuba. Read more... Stop dressing like whores, you whores! BNEI BRAK, Israel -- Local conservative rabbis are sick with worry, anxiety and unease at the increasing popularity of practical, comfortable fashions; more so even than the worry, anxiety and unease that causes their usual kvetching. After much bickering they have responded with the tact, sensitivity and delicate touch for which fundamentalists of all stripes are known; by burning down stores that sell offensive clothing and spraying bleach on women that Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv refers to as "...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!" Read more... Poor planning ruins Rapture EARTH, Sol System -- The Rapture, long awaited by people who don't want to hang around to see how it all turns out, finally occurred this morning, catching even the most militant biblical literalists by surprise. At approximately two o'clock (GMT), various body parts of pious citizens across the globe simply disappeared. Read more... Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris, founder of the Chun Kuk Do school of Tang Soo Do Chopsocky, as well as wearer of the 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do, another of indeterminate color for Machado Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, rainbow suspenders for Tai Chi and a white apron in Tex-Mex cooking. Read more...

Latest news about Religion  Toast seen in face of Jesus Billy Graham dies at 99: What other obits aren't telling you America setting up for a coup by Satanists, Angel says Apple plans electric religion Bats are eating my legs! Controversial gay admits to Christian feelings Conversion therapy leader admits to male practice; closes facility After 598 years, Catholic Church admits wrongdoings Low-ranking Syrian terrorist defects from NATO Did the Time Warp wreck Canadian's Pope chances? The new looks sweeping the Muslim world Obama forgets sister's holiday A guide to Pope Benedict's updated Christmas story Wrath of God visited upon terrible film and TV production studio Scientist studies afterlife God and Nature in demarcation dispute Saudi Crown Prince Nayef to be buried after all Hasidic NYPD recruit says she was fired over beard length Atheist converts after Jesus visits her in shower Leader of Ireland's Catholics says God is 'ok with kiddy fiddling' Obama Celebrates Senate Vote, Issues Executive Order Preemptively attacked snake acquitted of manslaughter FED cites plight of Kennedy, Jesus to warn dissenters Tim Tebow reveals that he is Jesus Christ during postgame press conference Iranian faces execution for fibbing, not just usury Libya conflict: Jannah border cannot be closed Speaker at Norwegian summer camp was apparently persuasive, motivational; Impact... Pope makes creepy apology to child-abuse victims New York atheists angry over 'Hell' street sign Angel Jolie visits sinners in Hell » Older news

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