UnNews:Libya conflict: Jannah border cannot be closed
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
8 September 2011
JANNAH, Paradise -- Jannah saint-in-chief Muhammad Ali says Muslim heaven is unable to close its border with Libya to prevent fugitive Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi fleeing skyward.
Heaven’s possibly only angel told the BBC that Colonel Gaddafi had not crossed the border or prayed to cross. But he did indicate that Gaddafi loyalists who have arrived in Jannah as a result of piety would be free to stay eternally.
Libya's transitional terrorist authorities have confirmed that their National Terrorist Council (NTC) had sent a delegation to Jannah's Gate to discuss securing heaven’s borders to stop any kind of infiltration of Gaddafi troops to Jannah, and to stop any attempt by Gaddafi from fleeing Libya and entering paradise.
Asked if Jannah might close its border, Ali said: “We have no means to close the border. It is too big and we have no guard-virgins for that.”
He said he hoped that Colonel Gaddafi would not try to cross the border, but that Allah had not yet taken any decision on whether Jannah would accept him - or whether it would hand him over to the devilish ICC - if he did attempt to enter Jannah.
Allah also does not recognize the infidel ICC, which is seeking the arrest of Colonel Gaddafi, his son Saif al-Islam, and his bodyguard Fatima.
Ali said at least three convoys had crossed from Libya into Jannah, and that none of Colonel Gaddafi's sons was traveling in them.
Other unreliable heavenly officials in Jannah have said Col Gaddafi's personal fluffer, Farina Snatch, was among those who entered paradise in the convoys over the weekend or on Monday.
“We told them that we can accept them to stay for angelic reasons, but they have to respect that religious law allows them to do nothing, and forbids them from doing anything,” said Ali.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Staff "Libya conflict: Niger border ‘cannot be closed’" BBC, September 8, 2011