Protected page

Ten Things I Hate About Jews

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Ten Things I Hate About You)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The film's release made actor Heath Ledger an instant star amongst the white (Anglo-Saxon) population of the mid-west of America.

Ten Things I Hate About Jews is a 1999 anti-semitic teen romantic comedy film starring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles. The film is a modernization of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and is titled after a poem written by the film's female lead to explain why she's leaving her Jewish boyfriend, Melvin Schwartz-Cohen.

The things

1. Curly hair

Part of a series of articles on
Judaism
Kylewithouthat.jpg

Jewish stuff
Jew
Jewry
Jewkip
Jewtopia
Jew Claw
Jewish mother
Jewish history
Jewish holidays
Jewish cuisine
Jewish Dietary Laws
Self-hating Jew
Wild Jews
Ninjew

More Jewish stuff
עברית
Bar Mitzvah
Circumcision
IsraelPutz
JehovahYHWH
Tetragrammaton
TorahRabbi
PassoverKabbalah
KosherKosher Nostra
YentaYiddish
Bialy (Hasidic dynasty)
ZoharZionists

Even More Jewish stuff
Adam and Eve
Anne Frank
Giant Jew Band
Doctor Zoidberg
Mel Gibson
Kirby
Kyle Broflovski
Volodymyr Zelenskyy
MosesJesus
LawyersDoctors
Star of David.svg.png

History shows that nobody appreciates curly hair or "Jew Fro" as it has come to be known. For example, what other race has curly hair and had a few bad years and clashes with authority. Hmmm, let me think. Wait, I remember! The blacks! The point is, that curly hair can be frightening. But it's not just curly, it's greasy and twisting and dark. It's like those freaking Tribbles off Star Trek emerged from the heads of Jews originally as lice and mutated into super-breeding fluffy-cuddly softballs.

2. Noses

Not so much a nose as it is an enormous cliff that hangs on the face of everyone who worships on Saturdays. There have been 8,934,839 deaths that can be attributed to the noses of the Jew (mostly caused by them bumping into furniture and doors). Accidental or not, it is a force to be reckoned with and must be stopped ... or at least surgically altered on a worldwide basis to agree with my image of how people should look.

3. Greed

What I am about to say is a deep, dark, commonly known truth. Don't give a Jew money. Money corrupts the jews mind. It is like a drugs. They are hooked and will commit crimes to get it. No morals. Just freaking look up the top richest men in the world, they'll be either Jews or friends of Jews. You ever seen a poor Jewish farmer or factory worker? No? But you have seen plenty Jewish bankers and politicians and directors, haven't you! Just do what the Byzantine Empire did and don't let them into business or politics ... or religion ... freaking Talmud calling for the murder of all Gentiles! Look it up, morons! They're the spawn of Satan (and in my bed right now)! As they have destroyed Palestinian homes, thinking the land is theirs, how much land do you wanna get moron? It's their land! It's just the brutal history of Jews repeated ... look it up.

4. Circumcisions

A medical procedure used as an excuse for Rabbis to mutilate and violate innocent little Jewish babies. Perhaps the conscience lies in the foreskin? That would explain why they whip it off! The mind of a circumcised Jew is as follows "Kill, kill, kill! Steal, steal, steal! Fornicate! Slack-off! Pillage! Pervert! Death, death, death! Sarah Silverman! WOOT!

5. Woody Allen

Enough said.

6. Their gay language

מאמר זה נורא

Hmm, the frak is that anyway? I know I saw that on that Roswell saucer. O MY GOD, JEWS COME FROM OUTTER SPACE!!! DAVID ICKE WAS RIGHT!

7. Honn-a-kah (sic)

Just celebrate Chrismas or Festivus like everybody else. Or Kwanzaa (sic). Yeah, assholes. Niggers realized they had no culture of their own, so they invented some, but it still sucks ass. What, offended at the N word? THEN WHY ARE YOU ON THIS WEBSITE WHEN YOU KNOW WE'LL USE IT, RETARD! Besides, I'm Asian married to Jew-boy!

8. Sasquatch

For centuries this hairy abomination has been terrorizing residents of the pacific northwest, forcing his religious doctrine on others and then eating them.

9. Star of David

The Star of David was developed by Jewish scientists to be used by Jewish ninjas, or "Ninjews".

10. Synagogues

Ever hear of the synagogue of God? Jesus? Vishnu? No, but you have heard of the Synagogue of Satan! I've made my point, Jews have devil horns and worship Satan!