Portal:Technology

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Information technology is a relatively new concept created by Walkers Crisps. It was developed during the early stages of a campaign to raise the sales of the failing crisp company. At the time, a back office clerk named Derek came up with the idea of "it", however soon after Derek had created the idea, it was outsourced to India, and Derek lost his job. (Full article...)
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SCO stock certificates.

Stale Creative Organization, or SCO, was founded by Xenu to place Thetans on the souls of Linux users. This often causes Linux users to be chronically unemployed and suffer from a variety of mental illnesses and diseases. When Xenu developed a conscience Darl McBride took over.

SCO is funded by MicroSuck, in a desperate attempt to hide the superiority of Linux from the corporate world. SCO is rumored to be ruled by an evil demon, but details are sketchy, as it apparently eats visitors.

SCO claims that all Linux users owe it five billion dollars in licensing fees, or face sharks with frickin' laser beams, according to their spokesman.

Linux users generally cite goatse as a place to address any attempts to charge them.…

Archive Article credit: Unixiclopedia (more…)
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Blue Screen of Death

It's better than a frozen DOS prompt.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Uyabba Image archive
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Did You Know...

 the first handheld mobile phone was a Motorola?
 Monty Python was responsible for naming junk e-mail Spam?
 you spend too much time on your cell phone?
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Quote of the Day

“People who are crazy enough to think they can change the toner are the ones who change the world.”

~ Random P.R. rep for Xerox
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Highlighted Biography

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Tesla seen here with his giant fan invention...

Nikola Tesla (Serbian: Кицк Асс; 10 July 1856 – 7 January 1943) is one bad mofo and a god of electricity in Norse mythology. He is also a scientist, inventor and visionary. Worship him for you cannot win, he shall disarm all your petty weapons.

Early Life

Though commonly believed to be human, Nikola Tesla was actually born through a small discharge of static electricity caused by his mother rubbing up against the local pizza delivery boy during a lightning storm, or at least that's what she told Tesla's father. Another lesser known theory claims that he actually was hired to construct himself by his father in the summer of 1883 for 5$ per hour. The story has it that Tesla had already been working on plans for himself in secret for several years so was able to start right away.…

Archive Article credit: VitalOD (more...)
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Technology Spotlight

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The secret formula for CDs.

The modern Compact Disc (also known as a CD) was first invented by Atlantian priest/scientists prior to Noah's flood. Due to their super advanced mumbo jumbo no one was able to understand the significance of CDs until the mid 1430's when the Evil Ming the Merciless used his secret decoder ring to translate certain Egyptian texts found inside the Great Pyramid (rumored to be a primitive fast food restaurant built by the Atlantians, but in fact the Great Pyramid was originally constructed by aliens from planet Paris25 as a way to keep their razor blades sharp, the Atlantians later modified it for fast food purposes, thus allowing the first ninja to deliver burgers to the ancient Babylonians. The secrets of the ninja/Atlantian alliance have yet to be fully probed).…

Archive Article credit: LeeHarveyKennedy (more…)



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