Portal:Technology

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The Technology Portal
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Technology is a natural byproduct of human greed and laziness. It all started when Man first realized he could do something faster with a tool, rather than his own bare hands, and he could then use the free time he would accrue to jerk off and eat berries. It is a sad irony that, for however much he could multiply the fruits of his labor, his wants would increase in tandem, and however complex our tools could become, they can never fill the boundless need to devour, to consume, which rules unchecked inside the human soul.

With wisdom, our civilization has abandoned the Sisyphean task of fulfilling every want, and has instead devoted the entirety of mankind's intellectual power to making numbers on a screen go bigger, and to create bigger and more exciting looking explosions. We have even begun building the foundations of a non-human super-intelligence, which will literally kill everybody on Earth the second it is turned on, in the hopes we can make some very rich people even richer in the interim.

Featured Article
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KDE, or the K Desktop Environment, is a desktop environment package - essentially the stuff on the computer people actually use - originally designed for UNIX-like systems and developed around the idea that proper software will always use all available resources. This is more difficult than it might seem; not only do other running programs not wish to share a system's resources, but as time passes and technology improves, the available resources keep expanding, well beyond the capabilities of a single group of applications to effectively hog. Even the primary competitors in the realm of system-hogging, OS-X and Windows, have fallen short of similar goals, despite their more financially-driven reasons for doing so.

Featured Image
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Microsoft's 1995 hit game Blue Screen of Death sees players attempt to troubleshooting their PCs, desperately hoping the crashes aren't caused by the GPU you just bought (sucker!)
Did You Know...
  • ... that Monty Python was responsible for naming junk e-mail Spam?
  • ... that the Nintendo Game Boy survived a Gulf War bombing and still works (it's on display in a Nintendo store)?
  • ... that the "@" symbol was chosen for email because it wasn't commonly used in names, making it a perfect separator?
  • ... that the QWERTY keyboard was designed to slow down your typing speed?
  • ... that in 2006 someone tried to sell New Zealand on eBay?
Notable Nerds
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Steven Paul Jobs, commonly referred to as Jeve Stobs (February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011) was a prominent American cancer victim and embittered technophile best known for selling monochrome products at inflated prices. An innovator, Jobs pioneered wearing turtleneck sweaters, oppressing Chinese factory slaves, plagiarism, and putting "i" in front of everything.

By the time of his death, he had achieved a near-cult status through his front company Apple. Jobs was able to build Apple into the most valuable organization in the world through exploiting the strata of society known as "hipsters" and selling them already available technology in much prettier boxes. Jobs's legacy is much-debated, but what is certain is that his death by cancer proves that although Apple products are less susceptible to fail from viruses, PCs (pancreatic cancers) are a different matter.

Technology Spotlight
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Input devices are the most important components to a computer. Without input devices, people would have no way of communicating with computers. Without input devices, this website would not exist. Without input devices, nobody would be able to compile a list of input devices. Without input devices, you wouldn't be reading this article and your whole life would be a waste. We should study input devices to learn why we should appreciate them so much. We should use input devices to scroll down this page.

The joystick was the very first input device designed for the computer. This device was built by IBM as a companion piece to their first prototype computer, the BRAINIAC, which was the size of three olympic stadiums and was capable of adding single-digit numbers together.

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