User:OPOSSUM/Opossumopedia
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This article has been chosen by us just me.
OPOSSUM is the divine spirit-lord of all things. [1]You’d better drop on the ground like you’re dead now (like a possum!) NOW!!! Or in a short time thou shalt perish! You are nothing but my slave now!! Do as I say, dipshit!! BWAHAHAHA!!
See also:
Did you know?
★that OPOSSUM's Uncyclopedia account is probably older than yours, despite the fact that he only created his account on November 1, 2021?
★that OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids?
★that on June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all? Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous.
★that OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids?
★that OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids?
★that on June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all? Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous.
★that OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids?
News [etc]
OPOSSUM uses his fingers to pull shit out of his asshole in Whittier, Alaska
- OPOSSUM returns to Ventura… and possibly Uncyclopedia?"
- Pasmorade can't make a good news article (jk)
- Only OPOSSUM can
- actually OPOSSUM can’t either
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Uncyclopedia is dead









On this day
January 1: Break Half Your New Year's Resolutions Day
- 65M BC - For his new year's resolution, God promises to stop throwing giant meteors at Earth when upset.
- 1661 - Philip IV of Spain hopes his son will make him proud.
- 1812 - Napoleon Bonaparte vows not to start a land war in Asia.
- 1989 - Renowned ornithologist Arthur B. Magpie promises to stop fucking bird cloacas.
- 1994 - Ted Kaczynski says to himself, "This is my last letter bomb."
- 2012 - Whitney Houston promises to stop hoovering lines of cocaine like a roomba.
- 2026 - You hope that this year will be a good one, that you'll sort your life out for the better. Ha.
Picture for today
manaqi iliʔi kʰapa OPOSSUMOPEDIA
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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- ↑ Recent findings have shown that Opossum is not the prime deity of Chowgism; he is merely a preacher. The real god of all moccasins and New World marsupials is CHOWG.