User:OPOSSUM/Opossumopedia
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Crude CJ Version • Encyclopædia Fenris
a Massachusetts-free “encyclopedia”, where all carbon-based beings who dare to edit may do so. (and home to many moccasins :B)
10 articles in English
10 articles in English
This article has been chosen by us just me.
See also:
Did you know?
★that OPOSSUM wants to quit Uncyclopedia, but he might as well be addicted?
★that the Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race?
★that on June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all? Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous.
★that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries?
★that the Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race?
★that on June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all? Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous.
★that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries?
News [etc]
OPOSSUM uses his fingers to pull shit out of his asshole in Whittier, Alaska
- OPOSSUM returns to Ventura… and possibly Uncyclopedia?"
- Pasmorade can't make a good news article (jk)
- Only OPOSSUM can
- actually OPOSSUM can’t either
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Uncyclopedia is dead
On this day
December 21: Personal Hygiene Day
- 678 BC - Sodomy discovered in Greece.
- 677 BC - Death penalty instituted in Greece.
- 631 BC - The War of 1812 ends.
- 521 BC - Two slightly inebriated Mayans and a French guy come up with an ingenious way to scare the shit out of the future population of the Earth by the means of a calendar.
- 477 BC - Stinky Greek hobo Socrates roams the streets of fudge packing Athens, claiming he knows nothing. As a result, the goofy Greeks regard him as the greatest sage that ever lived.
- 322 BC - Megalo-maniac Alexander the Great turns out to be a regular fag. In a letter to Aristotle, he confesses that the smell of male toil 'turns him on'.
- 10 BC - Roman emporer Politemus IV invents the square wheel. Round wheels were outlawed under pain of death.
- 1500 - Middle Ages officially end; Europeans can finally start taking care of their personal hygiene little by little.
- 1939 Hitler invades France. After realising he would never make them wash he turned toward Russia
- 1967 The interrobang is discovered. The horrible revelation drives its discoverer instantly insane.
- 1979 Star Wars Episode XXXIV: The rising of Darth Leia comes to theaters
- 1982 - Sudan wins "Least Hygienic Country In The World Competition" for the first time. The African country has held the title ever since.
- 1984 - The first horseman of the apocalypse descended to herald the coming tribulations, but no one noticed apart from John Greeves, a homeless alcoholic from Brighton, England.
- 2000 - The bearded Taliban commanders state personal hygiene is against the will of God; in Afghanistan, pretty much the worst place ever.
- 2001 - UK prime minister Tony Blair is voted "Best Looking Twat" by the readers of Womans Realm magazine.
- 2004 - Barry Scott surpasses Batman as the Queen of Clean with Clitoris Bang.
- 2005 - Bermuda Triangle mysteriously disappears.
- 2006 - Personal hygiene forced upon France by new EU ruling. The French promptly withdraw from the EU. All traces of the bathtub are destroyed and the french quickly return to smelling of bad cheese and garlic. Celebratory riots last into the new year
- 2007 - Man discovers that the white stuff on your tongue causes your breath to smell like shit. The Government promptly forces everone to brush their tongues.
- 2012 - World Ends only to be repopulated seconds later.
- 2017 - Saw XVI is a deathday movie which kills anyone who watches
Picture for today
Fools make a mock at sin, but among the righteous there is favour.
Because of this, I shall say upon all you:
moccasins.
manaqi iliʔi kʰapa OPOSSUMOPEDIA
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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- ↑ Recent findings have shown that Opossum is not the prime deity of Chowgism; he is merely a preacher. The real god of all moccasins and New World marsupials is CHOWG.