User:OPOSSUM/Opossumopedia
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This article has been chosen by us just me.
OPOSSUM is the divine spirit-lord of all things. [1]You’d better drop on the ground like you’re dead now (like a possum!) NOW!!! Or in a short time thou shalt perish! You are nothing but my slave now!! Do as I say, dipshit!! BWAHAHAHA!!
See also:
Did you know?
★that I fucked your mom last night?
★that OPOSSUM's Uncyclopedia account is probably older than yours, despite the fact that he only created his account on November 1, 2021?
★that OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids?
★that on June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all? Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous.
★that OPOSSUM's Uncyclopedia account is probably older than yours, despite the fact that he only created his account on November 1, 2021?
★that OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids?
★that on June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all? Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous.
News [etc]
OPOSSUM uses his fingers to pull shit out of his asshole in Whittier, Alaska
- OPOSSUM returns to Ventura… and possibly Uncyclopedia?"
- Pasmorade can't make a good news article (jk)
- Only OPOSSUM can
- actually OPOSSUM can’t either
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Uncyclopedia is dead









On this day
December 12: Unfunny Joke Day (US) Wooly Animal Molestation Day (Wales)
- 1594 - Pickle loaf first made with dill dough.
- 1806 - Napoleon keeps his armies up his sleevies - a French word for chocolates.
- 1862 - Three baby seals walk into a club.
- 1900 - A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
- 1901 - Not learning their lesson, the same minister, priest and rabbi walk into a bar, knocking their heads. .
- 1929 - As a year, was really long and hard. That's what she said.
- 1933 - Hitler ties his shoes with little Nazis.
- 1945 - Joshua Ben Cohen discovers that finding half a worm in an apple is actually preferable to being a prisoner in Auschwitz.
- 1957 - Farmer Frank Peters in Kentuckistan leaves his gate open long enough for one of his chickens to cross the road.
- 1962 - Larry, a dog from Indiana, loses his nose when it is attacked by some drunk teenagers. Disgusted by his dog's hideous injury and not having enough money to pay a vet, the owner releases the injured dog into a forest on the other side of the state. After a few days of being fly-blown and delirous with pain, the dog begins to smell badly.
- 1964 - Researchers for the American Horror Book Readers Organization discover that many "Ghost Writers" are employed to write tales that involve ghosts. There is much laughter all round at the irony of this fact.
- 1965 - A boy takes a ruler with him to bed to see how long he slept. When he awakes, Leonid Breznev, the General secretary of the Soviet Communist Party, hits his stopwatch and informs him that he slept for 9 hours and 35 minutes. He also tells the boy that there are easier ways of finding out these facts and to please not call him again.
- 1966 - Not learning his lesson, the boy takes a saddle to bed, in case he has nightmares. He is sent to a gulag.
- 1981 - AIDS is unleashed upon the world by Jesus.
- 1984 - A baker robs a bank because he needed the dough - which he was able to steal from the lunch room which had its own bread maker, owned by a number of staff members who loved to eat fresh bread at lunch time.
- 1986 - So this guy comes into a bar, AW CRAP, sorry I said that wrong, it was suppose to be a donkey.....So this guy comes into a Donkey.
- 1987 - 3 men walk into a bar, one of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole joke plays out with a tedious inevitability
- 2002 - I hold a bukkake party, but nobody comes.
- 2003 - A man has the left side of his body amputated. He's alright now.
- 2004 - A clown is removed from a swing by hitting him in the face with an axe.
- 2005 - Uncyclopedia is created.
- 2005 the Third - In Soviet Russia, unfunny jokes don't laugh at YOU.
- 2012 - The month, year and day are the same number for the last time in the century.
Picture for today
manaqi iliʔi kʰapa OPOSSUMOPEDIA
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- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
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- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
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- ↑ Recent findings have shown that Opossum is not the prime deity of Chowgism; he is merely a preacher. The real god of all moccasins and New World marsupials is CHOWG.