All I Want for Christmas Is You
| "That One Christmas Song Everyone and Their Grandmother Have Heard" | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Song by The Ice Queen from Hell | |
| from the album I Will Doom Your Eternity | |
| Released | 6.6.666 |
| Genre | Satanic |
| Label | Infernal Screeching Records, Ltd. |
| Producer(s) | Satan |
November 1st, 5:AM. The kids are no longer trick or treating on the streets, as they're profoundly sleeping. The teens and young adults are quitely entering their homes and trying not to let their parents know they've been out getting drunk with their friends. The adults are finally relieved that they won't need to have meddling children on their yard anymore. Halloween has officially ended.
But even when the International Day of Spooks is over, the fright hasn't finished just yet. Quite the contrary; it has just begun. For it is at this very hour that the shops all around the world pull out their scary decorations and replace them with seasonal ornaments and holiday cheer. The spooky tunes are silenced by novelty songs, and the blood and viscera are erased by the snow and mistletoes. It might be a month and a half too early; but for the executives in charge of the stores, it's a month and a half too late. It's Christmas time.
And as the world is preparing for the winter season, a haunting tune traverses through the homes, announcing of its arrival. It's an upbeat melody, of whimsical lyrics, that hides its true nature underneath. A song everyone has already heard, yet won't stop hearing until the end of their lives. A song called... "All I Want for Christmas Is You".
Composition[edit | edit source]
The official story behind the song is that it was co-written and produced by some singer by the name of Mariah Carey. However, no one has ever heard any song made by this singer that isn't "All I Want for Christmas Is You" -quite suspicious, if you ask me. There are some testimonies that this "Mariah" person has indeed produced other albums and songs, but they're clearly made-up lies. Clearly, the name of Mariah Carey is just a cover-up for the real authors of the song; which have gone to the extend of creating an article of her on Wikipedia just to keep the illusion. In reality, it's all a grand conspiracy to brainwash people into consuming mediocre Christmas slop every last two months of the year.
| “ | I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need... | ” |
D-did you hear that? That freezing whisper of the Ice Queen, as cold as her heart, making her comeback known. She's here. I can feel it.
| “ | I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree... | ” |
It won't be long before she gets out of her frosted slumber and terrorizes our hearts with holiday cheer. We have to prepare for battle. We have to arm ourselves and-
| “ | I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know... | ” |
OH GOD SHE'S ALREADY HERE. WE HAVE TO RUN OR ELSE SHE'LL FIND US. DON'T LOSE ANY TIME WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW GET OUT GET OUT GET-
| “ | Make my wish come true... | ” |
OH GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME NOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE GET ME OUT GET ME-
| “ | All I want for Christmas is youuuuuuuuuuuuuu | ” |
