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UnScripts:Waiting For Godot 3: Waiting For Gadot

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Waiting For Godot 3: Waiting For Gadot is part of

The UnScripts Project

Your personal Shakspearian folio of humor, love, woe and other silly emotions

Scene: Uncyclopedia, exactly 8 years after Godot 2 was featured. Writing Godot 3 with no passion. Feeling like a dead tree on a lonely road and making a scene about it.

Act 1

BAR: Totally.

Bar Refaeli and Rotem Sela, two Israeli supermodels, waiting for their girlfriend Gal Gadot.

BAR: I just hate this Gal.

ROTEM: I know... She has to be so perfect. I mean, she's a gal and her name is also Gal.

BAR: Yeah! How lame it that?

ROTEM: Did you know I starred in that Zohan movie way before she became Wonder Woman?

BAR: Wow. I didn't know that. Did you get to kiss Adam Sandler?

ROTEM: No... but I got to smile at him.

BAR: That is totally hot. Tell me more.

ROTEM: Well, my job was to smile at him at the first scene, and then make the audience sit throughout the entire movie waiting to see me again.

BAR: Kind of like that famous play, Waiting for Godot.

ROTEM: Yes, exactly. You know, I always thought that Godot represents God in that play.

BAR: Totally. They wait for God and he never shows up.

ROTEM: Maybe it was about the Holocaust.

BAR: You know what? I bet it was. So you played God in that movie!

ROTEM: I'm like Morgan Freeman!

BAR: In a bikini!

ROTEM: Bar, you are such a Nazi bitch.

BAR: Speaking of Nazis, did you hear what Tom Waits did?

ROTEM: Besides waiting?

BAR: Yes. He recorded an instrumental version of "Innocent When You Dream" for a Palestinian museum, to sympathize with the broken dreams of the Palestinians.

ROTEM: Kommienezuspadt!

BAR: Yeah, he did.

ROTEM: So the anti-Israelis got to him? I guess being a musical genius doesn't mean you are Gal Gadot.

BAR: Where is she, by the way?

ROTEM: I bet she's *SMILING AT* Vin Diesel right now.

BAR: Rotem, you are such a bitch.

ROTEM: Speaking of Fast and Furious, did you catch the comeback of L7?

BAR: Bitch! Are you fucking with me?

ROTEM: No... They have a new song and all.

BAR: OMG! I love that song that sounds like Fast and Furious... Fast and Frightening!

ROTEM: Yeah, that's a cool song... I bet Gal loves it too.

BAR: OK, if she's not here in like 2 anecdotes, I'm going home.

ROTEM: Bar, you have such high brows.

BAR: No, you!

Act 2


Gal Gadot's place, Tel Aviv. Gal standing by the door, all ready for the past 6 anecdotes, waiting for Conan O'brien to leave.

ROTEM: Wait, I just got text from Gal. She says there's some funny librarian at her doorstep who won't let her leave.

BAR: Conan the Librarian?

ROTEM: Looks like it.

BAR: Well, what does HE want?

ROTEM: Maybe she didn't return a book on time to the library. Or lost it.

BAR: Well, tell her to just give him her own book. Doesn't she have 2 copies of every book ever published in her house?

ROTEM: Yes. Wait, I'll text her what you said.

BAR: Quick please.

ROTEM: Wait, now she's saying he wants a copy of Godot 3 from Uncyclopedia.

BAR: WHAT? But that shit isn't even written yet!

ROTEM: I know... I guess he's psychotic.

BAR: How can she give him a copy of THAT? It's like we are in an infinite loop where we have to wait for her forever and ever! THIS IS INSANE!!!

ROTEM: Come down, bitch. I think I have an idea.

Act 3

Uncyclopedian, no longer feeling like dead tree. Trying to please both Bar and Rotem with cunning plan how to get rid of Conan. Gal will be pleased too. This should be good.

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ROTEM: Do you remember what they did to Conan on the South Park movie?


ROTEM: Bar, please stop shouting... Yes, do you MEMBER?

BAR: They made him kill himself by shaming.

ROTEM: Exactly.

BAR: So how can Gal shame Conan?

ROTEM: I thought you would know.

BAR: Mistake him for an Italian?

ROTEM: Genius. I'm texting her right now.

BAR: Please hurry.

ROTEM: She says she told him "buongiorno" and he jumped out the window...

BAR: Yes!

ROTEM: ...and broke her car.

BAR: Fuck! Tell the bitch to take a cab!

ROTEM: She asks that we come over.

BAR: No way! Isn't she Wonder Woman? Tell the bitch to fly over here!

ROTEM: She says you can suck her clit with your rectal opening.

BAR: That's it. I'm not waiting anymore. Is that an option?

ROTEM: No. You're supposed to wait.

BAR: But she's not coming!

ROTEM: I know. It's an infinite loop again.

BAR: So how do you break it?

ROTEM: Well... Normally you would restart your computer. That's the best way.

BAR: So who is the computer in this equation?

ROTEM: The Uncyclopedian guy.

BAR: How do we restart him?

ROTEM: We tell him that we're pleased by his cunning plan.

BAR: I am pleased!

ROTEM: Me and Gal are also very pleased by the cunningness of the plan.

BAR: Did it help?

ROTEM: I hope so. Hey, there's Gal! What's up, Gal?

GAL: Strange. I don't know if you were calling my name or referring to my gender.

ROTEM: Well, we'll just have to wait until you figure it out... Bar, are you OK?

  Godot & Friends
Waiting for GodotGodot 2: Waiting With A VengeanceGodot 3: Waiting For Gadot
Norway edition
Waiting For BreivikBreivik 2: The Breifist
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