Falling Off Of A Roof Anonymous

Falling Off Of A Roof Anonymous is an international self-help organisation dedicated to helping people who are addicted to falling off of roofs. FOOARA helps these people kick the roof-falling habit and get their lives back on track.

Many people are somewhat surprised to learn that falling off roofs can be so addictive. However, as anyone who has fallen off a roof knows, once you start, it's very hard to stop. The following transcript from an FOOARA meeting should give some indication of the hardships involved in recovering from this terrible affliction.

Fred L: Hello, everyone. I'd like you all to meet our new member, Jack P.

Jack P: Hi. My name's Jack, and I'm a fallingofftheroofoholic.

All: Hello, Jack.

Fred L: Tell us a little about yourself, Jack. How did you first succumb to the demon falling?

Jack P: Well, I was on the roof one day, and I met a pusher. He said he'd shove me right off the roof, no charge.

Fred L: Ah, yes. The first one is always free. Go on.

Jack P: Well, I accepted his offer, and pretty soon I was in this total downwards spiral. It wasn't long before I hit rock bottom. But with the help of FOOTRA, I hope to get back on my feet.

Fred L: With our emotional and spiritual support, you will.

Jack P: No, I meant that literally. Can someone help me up?

Fred L: Oh, sorry. There. Now, with our help, we can make sure that you will never again fall off the roof of the wagon. All you need is our twelve step program.

Jack P: Fred, I'll be lucky to make one step. I think I broke my knee.

FOOTRA Twelve Step Program[edit]

Step 1 - Stay off the roof.
Steps 2 -12 No really, just stay off the damn roof. If you need someone to fix the aerial, just call an electrician. It doesn't cost that much, and you can afford it, you cheapskate.