A story built one sentence at a time
Sorry, OPOSSUM, you may not add more text to the story at this time. Everyone else has this story's permission to add text at this time.
Rules![edit | edit source]
- No writing two sentences in a row. A sentence is anything that has a period after it.
- No run-on sentences.
- No reverting or deleting what other people do unless they themselves broke a rule and you are fixing it.
- No adding random banana sentences. The story must penis make sense chicken if you read through butt it.
- No sentences longer than 40 words.
- Have fun!
- Last person to edit wins!!
Story[edit | edit source]
In the beginning of time, Chronarion made Uncyclopedia. He then lept into your mother's vagina. It was so bad that he decided to sell Uncyclopedia to Wikia FANDOM. This caused all Uncyclopedia users to immediately die. Then they were all resurrected, and they immediately decided to kill Alula. This would cause an ever-lasting conflict between admins and users, who would fight for millenia in a bloodly, godless war for the control of THE UNCYCLOPEDIA.
Uncyclopedia subsequently became an autonomous entity, living and thinking digitally. It got tired of the senseless bloodlust that was being caused due to its own existence, and so, the autonomous website decided to put an end to it all. By burning down the White House, of course. We should blame Canada for that. Anyways, it decides to huff some things.
Ojai (/ˈoʊhaɪ/ ⓘ OH-hy; Chumash: ’Awhaỳ) is a city in Ventura County, California. It's a very boring place. That is, at least, compared to your mom's basement. Which was a very exciting place to be at last night. I could hear her screaming from upstairs. Wait, that can't be right.
Sorry, <insert name here>, you may not add more text to the story at this time.
Congratulations, <insert name here>, you may add more text to the story at this time.
Just kidding, <insert name here>, and this joke still hasn't become repetitive at this time!
But really, <insert name here>, you should consider to add more text at this time before the day of reckoning comes and deletes you...
Fine, i'll add something more here right now.
I don't give a shit about the age of consent right now, even if the little girls in my neighbor's basement certainly do right now.
You might not give a fuck about the age of consent right now, but I'm pretty sure there is someone who is...
It's the little girls in my neighbor's basement who care about the age of consent right now! Yeah, there's nobody else!
5 minutes later[edit | edit source]
I heard banging on my door and some guy yelled: "FBI, OPEN UP!!!"
So I said, "Go eat shit fuckers."
And then a wizard came and yelled, "IT'S FUCKING MAGICAL OR SOMETHING!"
Wow, this wizard transported us back to a Fisher Price in 2005! This really puts me in the mood to huff some kittens.
But then a grue came out of nowhere and ripped the skin off my face, leaving the rest of my body unharmed for some reason. I now had to mouth and i really needed to scream. So I cut a "mouth" into my hand with a knife and made it scream instead. That would've worked if not for the fact that i had wished for any hurt body parts to instantly regenerate from some genie four years ago. But first, let me take a selfie. Oh shit, I see Knife Guy in the room behind me! Did you hear that knives grow out of his fingernails like he's some kind of mutant creature? Or that his organs are made out of knives? (That would be excruciatingly painful for sure.)
Anyway, as i was saying, i saw Knife Guy standing behind me, knife in hand, being only vaguely threatening somehow. Then, I suddenly had an urge to say "Finally, I'm all alone". But Knife Guy was still there, so i didn't say it. Suddenly, Knife Guy's son, Bayonet Boy, bursted out of Knife Guy's belly, leaving a pool of blood on the floor. Somehow both of them survived, with Knife Guy's belly slowly regenerating. Seeing this made me wish I didn't have eyes that day. Luckily, Bayonet Boy carved my eyes out of their sockets with his bayonet. But i quickly found out i had the same regenerative abilities, which kinda sucked. I pleaded him to cut my eyes again and replace them with ping-pong balls so they couldn't grow back, but I had forgotten that you temporarily become mute as a side effect of this regeneration.
A wild John appears![edit | edit source]
And his name is… JOHN CENA! He's here with our wonderful Jon from Garfield, and is ready to cook the best lasagna you've ever had! Oh crap, he accidentally dropped a perc 30 in the lasagna. Wait a minute, that's not perc 30- that's viagra! I had completely forgotten about the erectile dysfunction that I had developed so long ago. Such a shame I won't get to cure my ED, since Garfield has already eaten the viagra-spiced lasagna. Then i realized that viagra is probably poisonous for cats to consume, so i immediately took him to the M4st3r of L10ns and 0th3r Cats An1mal H0sp1tal. That was a bad idea, since the head veterinary didn't have a vet licence and didn't know anything about actual medicine (nor lions [nor cats]) -sadly for me, I wasn't are of that at the time.
Thus Garfield died. Since he had eaten too much viagra, his corpse couldn't fit inside the tomb as there was always something sticking out of it, meaning they had to cut a hole in order for that part to fit in; this consequently made me laugh much more than I should have during Garfield's funeral. This made Jon furious, and the next time he saw me he instantly threw a lasagna bomb at me. Fortunately, Knife Guy managed to block it. It was at that moment that he realized it was a feminizing bomb, turning Knife Guy into Knife Girl. This made Jon horny... what a sick fuck.
Oh yeah, the bomb also had some explosives, so Knife Girl was hurt and subsequently sent to the hospital. At the hospital, Knife Girl was sent to the F.B.I. for over 1029485 accounts of murder, and they didn't even treat her condition. God forbid women do anything.
Because Jon was equally sad from the loss of his cat and horny from seeing Knife Girl's boobs, he decided to drown his sorrows in the local strip club. There he saw what he thought would be his future wife: Goth Garfield.
5 detailed paragraphs of Jon and Goth Garfield making out or something like that[edit | edit source]
Mmmmmmmmhhh, ooohh yeaaaaah, ooooooooh, you're so fucking hot Jon, mmmmmmmmmmmhhhh, fuck me harder Jon, aaaaaahhhhhhh, yea like that, oooohhh *cat noises*. Fortunately, the authors really didn't feel like writing this, so they paid Knife Girl's medical bills, turning him back into Knife Guy and completely healing him.
While Jon and Gothfield were doing their... uhhh... thing, John Cena was busy dying in a fight against the FBI.
Fuck you; I don't wanna know what John Cena is doing, I want to see more steamy hot sex between Jon and Gothfield! - said an ominous voice. The ominous voice in question happened to be Knife Guy, who was literally paid to stop Jon and Gothfield from getting it on, thus betraying his contract. As a result, the writers conceived a bomb falling from the sky that would quite comically asplode next to Knife Guy, which would inflict him serious injuries; also he's a girl again now thanks to plot magic. Knife Girl was then arrested again on various accounts of murder, and Jon was arrested on an account of bestiality. But Gothfield and Jon both managed to escape the police, and resumed the fucking in John Cena's house, which was conveniently empty right now. The pair continued their erotic affair until they discovered two moose fighting with their antlers in the front yard. But then they resumed it because they don’t give a shit about what the author wants them to do. Then one moose joined in and straightened Jon's rectum with his antler. That was the day Jon discovered he was gay (or bi, at least).
Meanwhile, John Cena was busy losing his death match against the FBI. However, the FBI couldn't see John Cena, thus prolonging the battle. So they "borrowed" a bunch of mannequins from Bad Motherfucker and dressed them up like themselves to bait out John Cena. John Cena foolishly approached one of the mannequins, causing the FBI to be able to see him. Then he died immediately because he wasn't relevant to the plot in the slightest. His brother Zhong Xina showed up to the scene, but he was also killed by the FBI, who then stole his bing chilling and Lao Gan Ma, as well as his social credits. Xi Jinping became really angered upon hearing that the best wrestler from his country was killed by rhe FBI, thus declaring a war on the USA because he felt like it.
While that subplot is going on, we introduce to you: paragraph 5!
Nah, not feeling like it. Here's paragraph 6 instead.
And here’s the 7th one! Paragraph 7, it was the one I played...?
Fuck it, welcome to my "subtract two paragraphs from the story" machine![edit | edit source]
Fool; if you add a new heading, you're not subtracting any paragraphs, we're just back at paragraph #1! With this power i can finally write more about Jon and Gothfield’s relatiomship! Anyway, Xi Jinping sent soldiers to the US to avenge Zhong Xina's death. I have no clue who that is, but he sounds somewhat important, so let's see how this goes.
"Nooooooooooooooooooo, I had a chance to read more about Jon and Gothfield's relatiomship, and you had to ruined it with your Zhong Xina nonsense!", said an ominous voice, again. That voice happened to be Knife Guy, who, through the power of plot magic, somehow was restored back to health and was no longer a girl. He had been given a second chance to reappear in the story, but by betraying his contract of not bringing up Gothfield (again), the writers decided it was a bad idea and run over Knife Guy with a Ford Asploder. Anyway, Gothfield broke up with Jon after seeing how much the moose stretched his anus, and so Jon went on to get into a relationship with the moose, while Gothfield and Knife Guy declared their love for each other shortly before Knife Guy died, leaving Gothfield depressed. To deal with the loss of her crush, Gothfield bought an Ouija board and performed a satanic ritual to contact with the ghost of Knife Guy. During the conversation, Knife Guy revealed that his real name was Luigi, thus making the Ouija board a Luigi board. He then burst into a high-pitched Italian accent and yelled, "I'm a Luigi, number-a one!!!" Well, turns like all Knife Guy needed to come back to life was to give Gothfield his affection, even though he's Luigi now.
Unfortunately Gothfield forgot to say "goodbye" to the Luigi board, turning Luigi into a demon and trying to kill her, bypassing Luigi's affection for her. However, because Gothfield was goth (what a surprise), she was into kinky demon BDSM, meaning that she found Knife Guy/Luigi even hotter now. This led to a seemingly endless chase scene as Luigi was running after her and she was reluctant to run away from him. However, Gothfield eventually picked up a moccasin she found on the side of the road, then held the moccasin up to Luigi moccasinly and trapped Luigi inside the moccasin because it was a motherfucking moccasin and Gothfield loved moccasins..
Then the moccasin blew up because the laws of moccasin compression or something like that says so, giving Gothfield severe injuries, sending her to the hospital immediately. Knife Guy managed to survive being trapped in the moccasin by possessing Gothfield's left leg, until moving to her chest area. While doing this Knife Guy's testosterone got absorbed by Gothfield, turning Knife Guy into Knife Girl yet again. This doesn't really matter, as Knife Girl was now just part of Gothfield, but oh well, now Jon is gay and Gothfield is a lesbian.
But what about the moccasin?[edit | edit source]
Oh, yeah... well, the moccasin is now floating down the moccasin river, while the other moccasin is still in the shoe store as Gothfield stole the moccasins that she trapped Knife Guy in- wait sorry, I meant Knife Girl. The first moccasin ended up in the shore of the river, and was then picked up by Jon Arbuckle, who was now living in the wild with his newfound gay moose lover.
Meanwhile, somewhere near Ojai, Gothfield was struggling with depression. Now that her soul had merged with Knife Guy Girl's soul, she started craving to stab random people with knives. This led to what is now known as the "2024 Ojai knife swarm incident" after she stabbed half the town to death. Luckily, the other half of Ojai residents were wearing moccasins and were therefore spared by Knife Guy Girl. Gothfield -and Knife Girl's soul within her- is now listed in the FBI'S most wanted criminals list for her crimes against the glorious city of Ojai. The remaining population of Ojai went out en masse at midnight, armed with torches and pitchforks, stormed Knife Girl's cabin in the woods, tied her to a tree, and fucked her until her pussy could fit your whole head in it... or at least, that was their plan; however, they made a fatal mistake: they forgot to wear moccasins, and as a result, they were completely vulnerable to Knife Girl's (inside Gothfield's body) endless bloodlust of stabbing people to death. Knife Goth Girl Garfield then burned Ojai to the ground and started a massive wildfire in California, as if that didn't happen enough. Amidst this reckless chaos caused by Knife Goth Girl Garfield, a hero appeared to save the day: It was naked Jon Arbuckle, riding his gay moose lover ("riding" understood as in "riding a horse", not as in the other definition for "riding"), who was prepared to save the forest he now called home! Unfortunately, he was naked, which meant he wasn’t wearing moccasins, so both he and the moose died.
Not satisfied with the bloody chaos she had ensured, Knife Goth Girl Garfield decided to sneak in the White House and steal the President's code for launching the nukes. Unfortunately for her I destroyed all of them before she got there, because I don't want to write this story in a post-apocalyptic world. Dissapointed at this revelation, Knife Goth Girl Garfield tried to satisfy her enless urge for blood by stabbing the US President to death. This somehow gave Knife Girl her body back, and she was luckily no longer a demon. This was because Knife Girl had transfered to the President's body, making her now the President of the United States.
Knife Girl didn’t really know what to do with the powers that comes with being the POTUS. However, her girlfriend Gothfield did have an idea: allowing murder to be completely legal in the United States! Surely this won’t have any consequenses, right? What happened the following day is exactly what you think would happen.
The chaos that ensued made Alula furious, and as such they created a plan to stop this craziness: Nothing!
The chaos ensued further, and Bad Motherfucker could now see that their plan had worked; the people murderer each other to the point where it was getting difficult to find someone who was still alive. The entire earth had seemingly been covered with blood, and Bad Motherfucker prayed that the blood wouldn't coalesce into a giant monster or anything.
You'll never guess what happened next. You'll never guess what happened because you already know what happened next. This means I'm not gonna bother writing it down for you. But it happened, it really did.
But you may be wondering, what happened after that? Well, Gothfield's soul became putrid after having caused the Earth to go apeshit, and Goth Garfield mutated into a hellish Lovecraftian being that went by the name of Gorefield. Gorefield and the blood monster then summoned two new armies of OPOSSUMS and Aracuans respectively that fought each other in another universe, destroying the space-time continuum.
In the chaos that was now Ojai, Gorefield realized that she could have prevented all of this from happening by rejecting Jon that fateful day. Ojai had been wiped off the map, as soon would every town and city in the whole wide world. Eventually, everything would countinue to cease existing, except for Goth Gorefield, who had doomed herself to eternity. This was when one of the writers realized something needed to be done. Perhaps, theorized the writer, we could warp to an alternate timeline that isn't on the brink of collapse, and with the wormholes everywhere that won't be too hard to do. That is when the writers realized they had fucked not just one timeline, but the entire spa0ce-time continuum, meaning they had to fix lots of things up if they wanted the dtory to progress. Everything began to bE sô fUcked uptAht evbẽn tïhs_tSöry'S tExtb3ĝAñ2to CoŕurPtttttttt&t4982tttttt;_OH śHTit**#&293792
...unfortunately, one of the writers was mistaken for a kitten and huffed from life while trying to write the previous sentence.
“God?”
“What's the matter? Can't you say I'm having a break?”
“Haven't you noticed that things are more... non-existant than usual, Sir?”
“What do you mean w-?
...
WHAT THE FLIPPING [heavenly censorship] HAPPENED HERE?”
“It seems that an anomaly on Planet E4R7H has devolved into the destruction of the space-time continuum.”
“Me-damned humans. I was supposed to be the one ending them on the day of the apocalypse, yet they're the ones who are going to be the end of me!”
“M-m-m-maybe y-you shouldn't have created them on the first place?”
“Are you questioning my decisions????!!!!”
“I-it was j-j-j-just a comment...”
“Huh... Let me undo this [heavenly censorship] mess that's all around the place... if you can even call it a place anymore that is. Me-damned non-existence!”
“Well, this warping mess looks kind of cool, at least. ”
“Well, this warping mess is gone now, at least. ”
“Oh god... ”
Universe 2.0[edit | edit source]
Uh oh, God accidentally reset the entire timeline[edit | edit source]
- In the beginning, God created the moccasins and the bat-fuck insanity. After that he decided to create James A. Garfield. And as the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters, he fed James A. Garfield through his asshole. Charles J. Guiteau didn't like this at all, but what was he supposed to do about it? All Guiteau could do was wait for himself to respawn in this new universe and re-assassinate Garfield, and that could take anywhere from a second to a billion years.
- I’ll let you guess what happened next. And before what happened next, God created a town for Himself deep below the surface of the Earth, and He named it Olo, for it was a low counterpart to Ojai. Then he changed the town’s name to Oslo because it turns out no one knew how to spell "Olo" correctly. Then he built Bergen 2: Electric Boogaloo on the location of where San Francisco stood in the previous universe, above ground this time. Then he moved the entire island of Britain into the Pacific to simulate the North Sea.
- Unluckily for God, His first creation, James A. Garfield, got fed of being fed through the anus and made a deal with Satan to change his imperfect human body to the perfect body of a cat, becoming the beloved comic strip sensation Garfield; God, angered that Garfield had made a deal with His arch-nemesis, banished the orange cat from the Garden of Eden, who then went to murder the famous plumber Mario from hit game Super Mario Bros. Good thing that Mario had stocked up on green mushrooms.
- Meanwhile, God was busy trying to set up a consolidation price for all the Bergen inhabitants that had their culture shamelessly ripped off by a bunch of Californians. The State of California, feeling called out by God, decided to bribe with Satan, who once again used this opportunity to get God mad -just because he can. God was pissed off by this of course, but he wasn't exactly able to do anything about it, mainly because Satan had somehow found a way to make himself immune against all of God's tricks. So a random person came out of nowhere and made it all right, which as they call in theater, a "non-god in a machine", the lowest form of creativity. What God didn't know was that the person making it "all-right" was actually one of Satan's pawns, and Satan's defeat was yet another one of his japes! Suddenly, Guile's theme started playing. This summoned a fight-ready Chuck Norris, but he was defeated almost immediately by Jon Arbuckle... somehow. Jon Arbuckle celebrated his victory by building a pentagram to summon Goth Girl Garfield's soul, so that he could slay some demonic Garfussy. Jon didn't have a clue how to perform satanic rituals, and accidentally summoned Knife Guy instead.
- Then Knife Guy pulled the mask off his face, revealing that he was, in fact, Charles Guiteau: Guiteau had finally returned! He stabbed Jon and ventured off in search of Garfield so he could assassinate him.
- God said, "Let there be something going insane in Discord." And so PF4Eva was made. Then he said, "Let there be something going even more insane in Uncyclopedia". And then John was sentenced to pregnancy, presumably for sending dick pics to his Discord kittens. John was then sentenced to manual labor, presumably for putting ketchup on his pizza in the presence of an Italian communist.
- God then realised that He was taking too much time in building the universe and everything in it, and so He invented the Monster Energy only to then drink it Himself; this way God managed to create Life, the Universe, and Everything in less than two seconds.
- In that first millisecond, he tried reinventing Knife Girl, but he wasn’t able to do that for some reason.
- In the second millisecond, he was drunk, and managed to recreate Luna, who went into hiding.
- In the third millisecond he was still drunk, so he created the first Russian, just so he could have a human friend.
- In the fourth millisecond, he got over his drunkenness somehow, and killed this person who should not be named before he was even born.
- In the fifth millisecond he accidentally tripped into a massive pile of cocaine he had just created, giving him a bunch of heart attacks.
- The sixth millisecond didn't happen since God had died from all his heart attacks.
- The seventh millisecond God hit the integer limit for heart attacks, subsequently bringing him back to life.
- In the eighth millisecond, God realized that learning how to die from heart attacks and immediately come back to life would be a very useful power.
- In the ninth millisecond, God made it so that moccasins could be duplicated, which would definitely not backfire on him later.
- In the eleventh millisecond, God realized that he couldn't count.
- In the first second, God decided to wait the rest of the one second to see what would happen.
- In the second second, God went back for seconds. Also, native Americans learned about the duplicating power of moccasins.
- In the twentieth point on this point-list one of the writers are expressing their disdain for writing the story this way.
- In the 95883945999395th second, the Native Americans have successfully utilized the power of moccasin duplication to produce over 9000 moccasins.
The return of Knife Girl[edit | edit source]
The Knife Girl returns. Native Americans parachuted moccasins to the location of absolutely everyone, including Knife Girl. Unfortunately she gained an immunity to moccasins when she was brought back here. Knife Girl is driven mad and stabs all of the Native Americans, whiping out the entire population of America at the moment. All they wanted to do was provide moccasins for everyone, how could Knife Girl do such a thing? That's an easy question to answer:Knife Girl is pure evil incarnate, and stabbing people is her only passion. The few surviving Apaches and Haidas (on vacation at the moment!) have gained permission from the U.S. and Canadian governments respectively to declare war on Knife Girl, since both governments see Knife Girl as a national threat that MUST be wiped out at all costs. In order to momentarily stop Knife Girl, the government of the US and Canada employed fake vampires, which would hopefully distract Knife Girl. These fake vampires charged Knife Girl with a whopping 20,091 monkey sins. She then charged them with an even more whopping 6,214,909 donkey pins, bankrupting the fake vampires and making them turn on their overlords. Overall, the plan to stop Knife Girl was an absolute floppasin.
...hey wait a second, is that John?
John and His Newborn Child[edit | edit source]
And his name is NOT John Cena. His name is DEATH. That's quite an interesting name, he also had the child with Knife Girl which I guess explains it. Death had just been born and he was already stabbing the doctors from the hospital and the patients as well, ensuing chaos and midchief; her mamma would be proud! DEATH quickly changed his name from Death to DEATH, and by the first hour after being born, was already considered one of the most dangerous serial killers, having over 500 confirmed kills. It was soon confirned that DEATH was the antichrist himself, fated to bring chaos and havoc to the world God had just created two minutes ago. Luckily, there was a random moccasin stash at a nearby moccasin factory, where over 500 moccasins duplicated by the Native Americans during the moccasin duplication epoch were stored, and DEATH was highly allergic to moccasins.
Wait, where the fuck did the moccasins go? They were too scared of DEATH; what a bunch of pussies! Well, we and the Native Americans can work together to duplicate moccasins.
Just one problem: all our moccasins are gone!
The Depletion of the moccasins[edit | edit source]
Where did they go?!
The Quest to Find and Retrieve the moccasins[edit | edit source]
Wait, what if we use the growing moccasins text? Wait, what, moccasins text can grow? Well, the word moccasins grows every time it appears, so yes, the moccasins text can grow.
The power of the moccasins is taking over this page!
I cast moccasin minimization spell! It failed misserably! Luckily that just means that it missed massively, so let's try this again.
Planet-sized moccasins ahead. Only click the button on the right if you really want to see them.
|
|---|
|
Time for the biggest moccasins of all time!!! Fool; that is not even an ounce of power that the m |
Congratulations, we just increased the length of the story by a factor of OVER 9000! Now Chuck Norris will invade Your Mom's basement and all your base are belong to His property thanks to His 1337 h4x0r skills, firing his lazor and huffing some kittens in George W. Bush's presidental office; bringing Uncyclopedia back to the glorious year of 2005... in Soviet Russia, all our base belong to YOU!
Umm, whats that shaking, and why does it look like the moon is getting closer to Earth?[edit | edit source]
Oh no, the moccasins are affecting the orbit of the moon! These moccasins were too big for any human being, yet we still built them for the sake of our own ego; and now our greed and hubris are going to kick us in the ass!
Once again, i cast moccasin minimization spell! Once again, this doesn't work, but instead causes Chuck Norris to huff kittens, therefore transporting us back to 2005, where George Bush doesn't care about black people and Kanye West is wearing moccasins while firing his lazor, thus making all of our base belong to him, including Soviet Russia.
Wait, is 4.252.99.182 casting Fisher Price?! Oh shit, I think he is, and we have just merged 2020scruft with 2005cruft, so now Kanye West is going in moccasins to fight 4.252.99.182 to prevent him from casting Fisher Price while he has also infected a whole town with Amogus on his way there. This has caused a time-space-continuum-fuckery of memes, where Kanye West will never give you up, Space Jam features Big Chungus, Skibidi Toilet is firing his lazor, I alredy drew you as the soyjak and I as the trollface, Snoop Dogg is drinking lean everyday, all your base are belong to Among Us, Oscar Wilde is wearing moccasins, and Chuck Norris has merged with Keanu Reeves to form the ultimate lifeform, Keanu Norris.
That's great and all, but the moon is still going to crash into the Earth.
Fear not, for Keanu Norris, the literal incarnation of the Übermensch, is here to save the day! Except he isn't, because we've been transported to 2014 and he's not relevant now. Actually, we somehow managed to cleanse this timeline, so none of these memes are relevant, with the sole exception of Kanye West, who's still here. It might be time to bring back the 2015 era of memes, because we're hitting cringe levels that shouldn't be possible. Damn, now we're in 2015, and weed is everywhere, Snoop Dogg and Kanye West are plotting something to stop the moon from hitting the Earth, and LeafyIsHere is gaining popularity, meaning we have another threat.
Unfortunately Leafy doesn't have a character arc at all, so he's probably gonna be completely irrelevant within a year. I'm laughing my ass off at a video of Shrek anally penetrating a 9-year-old. The moon also saw that video, and was so disgusted that he left the Earth and travelled in the other direction, therefore saving the world. Wait, won't that screw up the marine ecosystems or something because there aren't tides anymore? Uhh, yeah, and Kanye West and Snoop Dogg aren't aware that the moon turned away from the Earth, so they encouraged everyone to start smokin hella weed, and now the atmosphere is 5% THC, thus ruining the terrestrial ecosystem as well.
Funny things[edit | edit source]
I like funny things as long as they're expensive. These were the words of Kanye West, while giving his speech at the White House for his candidature as US President. Against all odds, Kanye West managed to secure the Republican Party nomination for the 2016 election, while Snoop Dogg managed to secure the Democrat Party nomination for the 2016 election, putting two former allies against each other. Tired of outdated politics, Snoop Dogg renamed the party as the Marihuana Party; Kany West, on his part, reformed the party as the Yeezus Party. The presidential debate would've gone pretty good, but both candidates had smoked an unbelievable amount of weed beforehand, making it amazing as they were high as fuck. Mirror mirror on the wall, who upon Earth is the highest of all? It's you, Kanye, it's youuuuuu *Kanye West then proceeds to passionately kiss his own reflection on the mirror*
Meanwhile, at Alpha Centuri, a moon that flew in at light speed smashed into the planet and obliterated it and shards rained everywhere destroying the rest of the solar system causing a black hole to grow so fat it had 500 heart attacks and died. The death of this black hole led to the implosion of a supernova that killed everyone on Earth except Snoop Dogg, Kanye West and Keanu Norris; the unexpected death of the Earth forced God to reset the universe yet again.
Universe 3.0[edit | edit source]
Aw man, we live in the timeline when Michael Jackson went from white to black, not the other way around. God has fucked up big time this time around, and accidentally created a mirror universe where everything works the way it shouldn't - except for Kanye West and Snoop Dogg, who remained alive from the other universe. So what are you waiting for, who wants to see the duo FIGHT?
They have someone to fight, too, since Luna from one universe went into the other universe thanks to Luna's dreams, and they started duplicating each other infinitely with this method. It should be cleared that these Lunas have nothing to do with the one from A story built one word at a time, since they come from different universes; they are as evil and chaotic as this Luna, though. The infinite Lunas started spilling into the other universes, starting with this one! Oh shit, I don't think Kanye West and Snoop Dogg are powerful enough to stop Luna on their own! Fortunately, they have Keanu Norris on their- oh wait, nevermind, Keanu Norris just died from a cocaine overdosis.
THE DIMENSIONAL MERGE IS UPON US![edit | edit source]
Lets oil up bitches with a new sentence in this god damn story! Yee haw!
This is the moment where Goth Garfield appears; however, as this was now a mirror universe, Manic Pixie Dream Girlfield showed up instead, wearing overtly colorful clothes and drinking Monster Energy from a cup that said "I L❤VE Mondays". However, it was not monday, it was in fact notmonday, and it was time for bed, so the L10n used Callable(Callable(L10nM4st3r, "go_to_bed"), "call").call(). Did I mention that I snort lines in the park? Also, did I just become a lawyer for OJ Simpson? Well, yes, but O.J. Simpson is dead, so this means I'm in hell, which I guess I should've figured out by now.
After ages of inactivity, another sentence has been written; this page has been revived. O.J. Simpson was also revived along with it, and we're no longer in hell, we are now in nolongerinhell. We discovered that Garfield, is in fact, canonically friends with O.J. Simpson.
_(cropped).jpg){kind=link}
