Homestuck
HUSSIE.
IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IT MEANS THAT YOUR WEBCOMIC HOMESTUCK NOW HAS ITS OWN UNCYCLOPEDIA ARTICLE. YOU HAVE TRULY CREATED A PHENOMENON.
I AM SO, SO PROUD OF YOU.
HUSSIE.
SEE THAT TEMPLATE TO THE RIGHT? THAT MEANS THAT YOUR WEBCOMIC HOMESTUCK NOW HAS ITS OWN WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE.
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
“I don't get it”
“Neither do I”
“STOP!! I don't like this”
“Hussie is a mastermind. Absolutely amazing. ”
Let me tell you about Homestuck.
Style and development[edit | edit source]
Homestuck is a webcomic written, drawn and animated by Andrew Hussie. While the internet is home to many a webcomic that can be described as a little left of centre, Homestuck, in terms of its sheer subversiveness and general mindfuckery, really takes the cake. In fact, it doesn't merely take the cake, it devours the cake, becomes completely enamoured with cake, invests in the baked goods industry over a number of years until it becomes the majority shareholder in several of the industry's largest companies and merges them all together into an evil global cake conglomerate. Just like the main character.
Homestuck was originally developed to be advanced via fan contributions, although later on Hussie decided to discontinue this method of advancing the plot in 2010. He stated the fan input method had “grew too unwieldy and made it difficult to tell a coherent story”. Seizing complete control of the plot has solved all these problems, and the comic is now practically synonymous with coherence and linearity to the point of making up stuff as time went on.
Side projects[edit | edit source]
Hussie sells a significant amount of merchandise (like character T-shirts) to allow the comic's fans to better play out their twisted fantasies. Sales have been increasing of late (see right).
Vidya Kickstarter[edit | edit source]
“ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO HUSS”
On September 4, 2012, Andrew Hussie announced a Kickstarter to raise funds for a Homestuck video game. Hussie's goal was to raise $2,485,506, an amount widely believed to be both extremely ambitious and oddly arbitrary. On the last day of the campaign, with fewer than a thousand dollars raised and the Kickstarter's message board filled with derogatory slander about “grey paint smearing freaks,” Hussie dipped into Ryan North's (of Dinosaur Comics fame) savings because the two had previously swapped their credit cards. Thus, the Kickstarter was successfully funded, and North's credit rating is now lower than Greece’s.
After the result video game came out in 2017, it gained a mixed reception. Or whatever the fuck it is.
Fan community[edit | edit source]
Homestuck’s fan base has been described as in the millions. Exemplary of the community’s size, Hussie was able to destroy Flash game and animation site Newgrounds (motivated by a petty grudge) with a skillful and coordinated attack. He persuaded Newgrounds to host one of Homestuck’s Flash animations after putting the comic on hiatus for several months to maximize hype, and thus the resulting strain on Newgrounds’ servers.
Our cast of Dead Bodies[edit | edit source]
due to very...interesting design decisions when designing the webcomic,the Huss found himself with way too many characters, and in a fair and balanced move, decided to murder everyone... Forever. this is the excursioner's list for 4/13/2009 at 6:12(it helpfully gives a list of all their traits, unless it's not their sexuality)
The Big Four[edit | edit source]
John Eggbert-closet gay
Rosetta Stoned Lalonde-very gay
David Elizabeth Strider-gay
Jade Harly Davidson-gay?
Their Guardians(names taken from their alternate counterparts)[edit | edit source]
Dad Egbert-straight
Grandma Jane Egbert-closet gay
Roxy Lalonde-gay?
Grandpa Jacob Halley-bisexual
Dick Strider-puppet-sexual
Backreel-asexual
Colonel Sassacre-unknown
Prospitutes and Derreshits[edit | edit source]
Wayward Vagina-STRAIGHT?
Peregrine Medkit-bisexual
Windy Ex-Queen-bi?
Wannabe King-He has a wife
Black Queen-gay NO SHE HAS A WIFE... erm, HUSBAND!
Black king-gay and cheating on his wife.
Sburb NPCs that are not Prospitutes or Derreshits[edit | edit source]
Skaia-unknown, possibly asexual
The Genesis Frog-a weird frog that is the universe, very slutty
The Horrorterrors-th'yglyrk'fhgthul
Denizens-homosexual(except for Typheus, who is canonically married to Echidna, but has shown feelings for Yaldabaoth, making him somewhat bisexual)
Consorts-bisexual
Alternatian Annoyers(basically, internet trolls come from another universe)[edit | edit source]
Karkat(beep beep meow) Vantias-GA
Aradead Maggot-B1sexu0l
Bullwimp Nitram-hETEROSEXUAL
Sollux Captor-bii2exual
Gumzy Mucker-TrIsExUaL
Kanaya Mary-gay
Equius Zahorse-horse-sexual
Feferi Fishgirl-W)(AAAAAAAAAT?????
Beta Cocker- it would be racist to assume Her Imperious Condescencion cant be an evil virgin just because shes black then again her sexuality is unknown and shes definitly not god
Their lupii-same as their respective trolls
Those two offical fantrolls in literally one panel of the webcomic (10,000 dollars worth of money well spent on that kick starter)[edit | edit source]
Meerfa Drugs-strait?
Nixon Wheels-gay
The green New trolls- erm...Cherubim[edit | edit source]
Khaliopee-gay
- Alternate Khaliopee-unknown, possibly also gay
Khaledporn-GAY
Their father-gay(he only mated with a female once she beat him into submission)
The Midnight Crew(the cards mafia, stolen from Hussie's other story)[edit | edit source]
Space Dick(alternate Jack Black)-ace. Well...(insert bad card pun here)
Do more Drug-bisexual
Club Doze-trisexual
Hearts Doxxers-hexasexual... I don't know
The Felt(the bad guys/the billiards mafia/a satanic cult bent on summoning Lord English)[edit | edit source]
Eetchee-gay
Doze-bisexual
Traze-trisexual
Clobber-closet gay
Fin-asexual
Die-gay
Crowbar-bi
Snowman-unknown(not a leprechaun but an ex-black queen)
Sietch-FAR gayer than you could ever imagine.
Zoo buck-super gay
Match stick-gay?
Egg-Closet gay
Bi Keet-bisexual
Quarters-he prefers corn
Can't-unknown; possibly gay
Arasia Maggot-sadly, never up to it
Doc Scratch-Half-puppet half-crystal ballcue ball, neither reproduce.
Lord English(Khaledporn's future self)-GAYER THAN EVER, DUE TO COMPULSIVELY HITTING ON HIS UNDERLINGS AS TYPICAL FOR A MOB BOSS... AND AN INTERDIMENSIONAL DEMON CAPABLE OF TURNING HIS "CAIRO OVERCOAT" INTO A TIME-TRAVELLING SARCOPHAGUS(BAD PUN ON THE CHICAGO OVERCOAT BEING GANGSTER SLANG FOR COFFIN). SINCE HE HAS A FEMALE UNDERLING, PROBABLY...BI?
The Author's home[edit | edit source]
Andrew Hussy-A huge lesbian. Then again, he's an even huger troll, and everyone knows that all trolls are bisexual.
Ms.Paint-Definitely gay
Plot (the long and short of it; the Medium, too)[edit | edit source]
Oh dear. I was putting this off. Please wait a moment while I visit Wikipedia.
Right, I'm back.
Homestuck begins when thirteen-year-old John Egbert receives a beta copy of an upcoming computer game called "Juman-sims"(often shortened as "Sburb") in the mail. Installing and running the game on his computer triggers a meteor attack on his real-life house, which he survives by using in-game objects to get teleported to another planet in a dimension called the "Incipi-something", thus immersing him completely within the real form of Sburb (Also confirming that he's not even stuck in home). As John's friends Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley join the game with him, they learn that they have unwittingly triggered the end of the world and that it is their duty to play the game, with the advice of a few internet trolls who turn out to actually be a naturally bisexual race of aliens, and thereby see the story through to its completion. This arc concludes with the revelation that Jack Black became an evil tentacled jester-angel-dog thingy and blew up the moon using spaghetti, and the story quickly grows darker as our heroes have no choice but to
The Epilogues[edit | edit source]
After bedazzling the entire world with his massive whatever the fuck it is epic and ending it with a few loose ends, Andrew decided to give into the voices in his head and headed off to the dark carnival, selling the keys to the franchise to Viz Media and throwing a few boondollars at two chronically instable fanfiction writers. The couple of writers that no one cared about beforehand created the most subversive piece of media in the franchise yet, a canon extension of the franchise in a physical book! With two different options on both sides of the book, now you can watch as the whole story shits degeneracy and deviance out of its ass! (Jade Harley now has a dog's cock thanks to Toblerone logic)
Homestuck: Beyond Canon: When Harry Met Lloyd[edit | edit source]
After destroying the franchise and general creator apathy, some well intentioned fans decided to continue where the epilogues left off and try to create a new Homestuck with more insidiously pathetic storylines and crappier logic. This new webcomic was planned have less content and features the the original webcomic, choosing to forgo quality animation, music, and mega pauses to instead upload a chapter every month, featuring art panels that look like they've been taken out of someone's Tumblr blog and the traditional long chatlogs filled with post epilogue exposition.
Homestuck: Beyond Canon's very short career started imploding after a game of Russian roulette and a long gambling session. After which, WhatPumpkin started putting out Patreon only updates. After that, WhatPumpkin got shut down and no more updates were applied to Homestuck^2. Homestuck^2 is getting a few updates so far, eventually beginning to reach a point where a specific Toblerone wish involving John Egbert would come true.