Suddenly, Raccoons

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One splendid afternoon, basketball superstar Michael Jordan slipped on a pair of loafers, some cool slacks, and what appears to be a Timex. "What a fine day!" exclaimed Mr. Jordan. "I think I shall chomp on a cigar whilst bouncing, or 'dribbling,' a basketball very close to the floor!"

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Mr. Jordan was pleased with himself. "What a fine day!" he repeated, exclamatorily. "I certainly hope my splendid afternoon isn't interrupted by some kind of annoying nocturnal omnivor-"

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This article was one of the Top 10 articles of 2010.

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Raccoon-01.jpg Suddenly, a feature!  (read another featured article) Featured version: 23 July 2010
This article was to be featured on Uncyclopedia's front page when SUDDENLY, RACCOONS!
You can get your own raccoons at Uncyclopedia:VFH
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