User talk:Puffskein

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Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeDS 07:56, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

Oh You're a Salty Lass

So far so good.. Glad you followed through with your decision to get yourself around here. Let me know when you think this is ready to go up, I'll scrutinize it thoroughly for ya. ;) --THINKER 07:08, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

That taste in my mouth was salt then...

But I had a look at the UnNews and I like it so far. It's short and punchy, kind of like my ex. (Last time I date one of the Mexican midget wrestling brigade.) Pup t 02:27, 22/10/2009

Welcome to UnNews

UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize is brilliant! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:14, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Puffskein, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

It's good to see that you are against vote whoring

Because as we all know vote whoring is a despicable act and is performed by only the lowest class of citizen. Pup 23:47, 25/10/2009

Puppy, you are a dog. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:45, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a go on iPhone....

Nice contribution by a noob. Reads like a real news article, but isn't. But there's one phrase that jumped out and slapped me in a not-nice way:"...people who aren't losers are known to engage...." I would like this ever-so-much better without the "who aren't losers" bit, and apparently another editor would too. To me, it just didn't seem to fit the rest of your article. But whether you change it or not, you've got talent (assuming you didn't rip this off from me in another dimension), so welcome! And by the way, have you edited at other wikis? Just curious. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:51, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Haha! The biggest complaint re your article has come from the THINKERing. Pup 03:06, 26/10/2009

Yeah, um, we should let Thinker think that Sexting is a "non-loser" activity though. It's really all about the iphone picture to email function though. The iphone just got MMS. I still have to thank the Thinker for the fact that I even decided to write here.

Yes, I have edited other wikis, not the big evil one, though I've been tempted to edit their Mythbusters page since it is often wrong. The lighting & sound company I was chair of for a year kept track of everything in a wiki. I also use LaTeX a lot, for fun, and need to figure out a way to work it in here. --Puffskein 03:20, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

You use latex for fun? $Wow!$ Pup 03:37, 26/10/2009

Yeah! I have an awesome book of recipes (made up by me) formated in LaTex, and XeTeX, tons of statistics stuff, and tons of other stuff - including instructions to games I've made up (that one might find it's way onto uncyclopedia, if I feel like making it into a wiki - or if I can get it to work in math mode.) Well, me $\rightarrow$ huge geek. I also have a BibTex library with every book I own listed in it. How do I have friends. Jeez. I also changed the line about Sexting - even though the people who aren't losers was sarcastic. I don't think people other than 12 year olds do that. --Puffskein 03:45, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

I thought you meant latex. Sigh! Pup 04:22, 26/10/2009

See, indeed I am not loserish enough to fully know what the hell iPhones are all about besides the fact that people who have the worship them. Sense is made. And it was supposed to smack you in the face; that isn't only what I do best, it's also wherein I derive most of my happiness. --THINKER 05:46, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

I'm a big fan of that too. But also the math formatting. --Puffskein 12:41, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

My "slapped me" comment was probably misleading. I didn't mean I found it offensive or anything like that. I thought it would be just fine in another context. It just didn't seem to me to fit the tone of your article. What you have now fits just fine, and I just voted for. Also, believe it or not but some people older than 12 send sexy messages and images of themselves. It's hard to believe that everyone hasn't given up sex by the time they're 13, but it's true. Again, I'm glad you're here! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:42, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Also have you considered asking to be adopted in the Adopt-a-Noob program? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:48, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Text messages and MMS are inherently non-secure. I prefer to transmit my illicit messages with encryption. I haven't considered applying for Adopt-a-Noob - but I'll look into it. Thinker might call dibs. --Puffskein 17:37, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

That's why I use Netscape Navigator 1.2. It's so old no one even bothes looking at it. Also TheThinker says he's not looking to adopt right now, but of course can decide to think differently. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:10, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

I'll talk to him and see if he'll make an exception. --Puffskein 19:22, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

You know, it's not considered very polite for a noob's first article here to get featured. I know because I did it too. Now everyone hates me and won't come to my birthday parties. They throw toilet paper on my house and when I go to school they give me wedgies. And they call me names like "stupid noob" and "filty noob" and "look at the stupid filthy noob he's got a wedgie!" It's just awful. Now you've gone and done it too, you stupid, filthy noob who's going to get a wedgie! (Seriously, congratulations!) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:53, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Are you sure all those things happened because you were featured?  :) Those seem like pre-existing conditions. I'll try not to get picked on too much. Wedgies aren't so bad if you're used to wearing thongs. --Puffskein 23:14, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Have you ever been given a wedgie while wearing a thong? There are some places that you really do not need to have flossed. Pup 01:24, 27/10/2009

I'll just assume that you do have experience with that. --Puffskein 03:13, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Latex and thongs... I'm too innocent to be reading this, even though I said most of it! Pup 05:06, 27/10/2009

Try typing with your eyes closed; it's safer. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:12, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

I've only just managed to get used to typing with only one hand. Pup 05:18, 27/10/2009

Is that a joke, or are you serious? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:28, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

I am renowned for my seriousnessness. Pup 06:02, 27/10/2009

All right. Let's pretend we're real people having a real conversation. You make a remark about typing with one hand. I wonder if you're serious, or if you're making a joke about masturbating or some such, and am legitimately concerned. Next, you give me a real, straight answer letting me know if you were serious or joking. Sound good? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:30, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Real, straight answer... bugger me, you ask a lot of a fella. Here goes. Yes, I am distinctly ambisinister. Pup 07:21, 27/10/2009

All right. I'll accept your explanation (even if I don't accept a term that is distinctly anti-left handed). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  07:31, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

You really do need to wear a thong with your latex - you don't want visible panty lines. --Puffskein 14:06, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

No panty lines? I think that's an American or British thing. In much of Europe, panty lines have been considered sexy. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:38, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Well, I am a stupid Americano. --Puffskein 22:32, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

It's easier if you just don't wear panties. I'm not wearing panties at the moment and I feel fine! Pup 00:22, 28/10/2009

Isn't that a Beatles' song? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:16, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

That seems more like a Rolling Stones song - probably on Sticky Fingers. --Puffskein 12:46, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Beatles' song one: "I Feel Fine" with lyrics "I feel fine." Beatles' song two: "I am the Walrus" with lyrics "you've been a naughty girl/you let your knickers down." I rest my case. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  15:55, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Another Beatles' song: "Wet beneath the blue suburban skies" --Puffskein 21:47, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

I'd play along, but I've never been a big fan of the Beatles, so... Ummm... "I wanna hold your glans" Pup 21:53, 28/10/2009

Everyone got the Beatles out of their system? good...

C-C-CCOMBO-BREAKER!!! Also: Do you really have boobies? Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 21:13, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Last I checked, yes. And how dare you doubt what The Thinker said! He knows what he's talking about (some of the time, about most things). --Puffskein 21:29, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I didn't doubt it at all. I trust every word THINKER says. I just wanted to see for myself. That came out wrong... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 21:36, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Much like a Victorian portrait, no matter where you're standing in a room, it looks like they're looking at you. --THINKER 08:49, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

They are watching you. --Puffskein 15:42, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

No. (That's an answer to the heading of this section). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:12, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Well, you should really get over that, before it leads to you living in a yellow submarine, or worse, liking Ringo. Also, I posted new stuff, so you should go read it, rather than singing Beatles songs to yourself. --Puffskein 15:27, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

In the town where I was born

Lived a man who sailed the seas.

And he told us of his life

In the land of submarines.

So we sailed into the sun

'Til we found a sea of green.

And we live beneath the waves

In our yellow submarine.

(Chorus)

We all live in a yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

(The lyrics may be slightly off--I'm doing this from memory). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18::58, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

So where's your new stuff? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:56, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

• Madeline - Biography, tale of despair NEW!!!
• UnNews:New York City sold NEW!

Maybe you've already seen it, so it's not new to you. --Puffskein 23:02, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Those are pretty new. But do you have anything NEW!!!!? I have certain standards when it comes to newness. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:29, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

This message is NEW!!!!!!! so there you go. --Puffskein 23:35, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Awwww yeah. That's the good stuff. The sad part is that I'm already wondering when I'll get my next fix. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:39, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I guess Whyner saw your post above cuz he's the one who told me I had to read Madeline! :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 23:47, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

You are correct, madam. I'm now skipping off to New York to see what's been sold. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:11, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Discordian Madeline

This user is a Discordian -- at least in some sense.

I read Madeline it's cool! She totally sounds like one of the second type of Discordian American Princesses except she's not America. She starts seeming innocent, flashes the Discordian V sign and poses naked. If you make an American connection I'll make her a DAP and add her to the template! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:27, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Good call! Totally have an awesome way to tie her to America. The french pretty much rule at that behavior. I'll let you know when I've added the american connection. --Puffskein 22:16, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Cool! Post it my talk page. Plus I just finished Jamie Lynn Spears who's a DAP and recently had a daughter named Maddie. Guess what the article links to now? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 23:16, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I saw your post! I like it but have one little fix. You could make it "friend Eloise of the Plaza Hotel in New York." I didn't know where the hotel was. It doesn't say where it is until later and I feel it would be better if you said that early. :) Also once you feel it's ready you can ask for a Pee Review they've really helped me. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:34, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I added New York City to your article and added Madeline to the Discordian American Princesses template! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 06:56, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Has anybody adopted you?

I was adopted and then I adopted User:Why? It's cool cuz it gives you someone you can bug with questions and help all the time and they don't mind. Check out AAN it has a link to people who are looking to adopt. It says I'm not adopting right now but I just got through mid terms so I might. But Why's looking for an adoptee and he's cool plus then I'd be your Grandma! lol :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 23:35, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I'm flattered that people want to adopt me. User:The Thinker has dibs - but I'd hate to make User:Why? and Thinker fight over me (sorry dude). --Puffskein 23:51, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I'm sorry, but I didn't get your message. You'd hate to make me what? If you'd hate to make me the stuffing for a goose, I'm heartily in agreement. I hate being in there. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:24, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

What - you can't read my mind?! I finished my thought above. --Puffskein 03:44, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I checked the edit history. I know what you did. Trying to be sneaky and add a few words to your comment, eh?

But that shall not stop me, young lass. If it be a fight that thou wantest, then a fight thou shalt have. I be off this moment to post a challenge to this "Thinker," that foul, besotten, son and heir of a mongrel bitch! I am off! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:07, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Thou mayest see mine challenge to this "Thinker," young lass, for it be here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:39, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I think Whyner's been to too many Ren Faires! lol DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 06:58, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I haven't been to enough such events lately, so it's kind of spilling over here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  15:29, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Puffskein, I would love to adopt you, definitely, but don't want to cause a problem between you and The Thinker. Please see my post here and let me know what you'd like to do. Have a fine day, good lass! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  15:27, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I would get involved here just to make things more complicated, but I have a n00b who is away at the moment. Also I did come here for a reason, isn't a Puffskein a creature out of Harry Potter? Not that I read that sort of thing... I have a young.... friend who tells me all about it, I read big books for tough manly men, obviously. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:56, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Puffskeins are actually vicious little creatures, often dyed pink and sold in pet shops. They were made popular by Harry Potter. They are a cousin to the species of killer white bunny rabbits used to guard treasure. --Puffskein 20:44, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

A puffskein is probably J. K. Rowling's version of a tribble. They even mention this as a possibility in the Harry Potter wiki. I like tribbles. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:00, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

At last, I can sleep soundly at night again.--ChiefjusticeDS 21:15, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

You mean to say you're too manly to admit to reading Harry Potter, but by the same token willing to admit that you know what a tribble is? Pup

/me adjusts Vulcan ears/ What's your point? I am a manly man's man, watching Star Trek used to be necessary. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:24, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Puppy, please don't mix up your sexist stereotypes. "Tribbles" are from Star Trek, manly science fiction, where brave manly men go boldy where no man has gone before, and where women wear uniforms with skirts so short that everytime they inhale they expose their panties. "Puffskeins" are from Harry Potter, girly fantasy, where they have girly stuff like Death Eaters and seeing your parents murdered. You see, men like love and romance, and girls like violence and death. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:30, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I should have added that I once freaked out players when I was running a roleplaying game by having a white rabbit "guarding" a great treasure. They were of course thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail but it was just a white rabbit. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:22, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Gender stereotyping has never been my strong suit. Understanding all that sort of girly stuff is too complicated for me. Pup

About your adoption

Just in case my note got lost in all our silliness above and on The Thinker's talk page, here's a fresh and newly revised version provided for your enjoyment.

I hope I didn't cause some kind of a problem with my tongue-in-cheek challenge to The Thinker over who would get to adopt you. I'd like to explain myself.

I would love to adopt you; that would be great. I would also be perfectly happy to share your adoption with The Thinker, or would be fine with The Thinker doing the adoption. Apparently The Thinker got you here and you've known each other a long time, and I don't want to interfere with that. I had noticed The Thinker's entry on Adopt-a-Noob said he wasn't adopting (although he's since explained that wasn't his decision) so that, on top of your saying you didn't want people fighting over you, naturally inspired me to "fight" for you. You have two offers open for adoption, and can freely take one, the other, or both. I'll support you whichever you decide (as long as you don't decide "neither." Then I'll get all pouty for three days, and you don't want to see that, believe me.) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:18, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Sobs That was so beautiful sniffs it was like that film where the people do that thing and then they have to choose between this thing and that thing because of that other thing. --ChiefjusticeDS 23:23, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I've discussed with Thinker, and I'm going to accept your adoption offer. How does this get made "official"? --Puffskein 23:56, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Terrific! That's great! I'm one happy papa. There's a 10-stage process, but most of these have already been done.

• 1. LEARN about Adoption (see AAN if you haven't already)

  2. SELECT an Agency (We both chose Uncyclopedia Adoption Service)

  3. COMPLETE a Homestudy (I live on this site, so you've seen it)

  4. SEARCH for a Child (I did that part)

  5. EXCHANGE Information with Child's Agency (We both did that)

  6. LEARN that You Have Been Selected for a Child (I just learned that from you)

  7. MEET and VISIT with the child (Doing that now)

  8. RECEIVE a Placement (Hey, I receive you!)

  9. FINALIZE Your Adoption (I'm going to do that in the next few minutes)

  10. LIVE AS AN ADOPTIVE FAMILY (You'll learn my rules, mostly things like don't stay up too late unless you really want to, don't take the car or computer out for a drive without asking unless I'm not paying attention, and if any boy or girl wants to hold your hand, make sure they wash both hands first. Also--and this is the hard part--you'll have to pretend I'm both clever and funny. And this is optional, but if you want to call me "Daddy" or "Papa" I'll find it cute and it will annoy the hell out of other people just like it did when I called Miley Spears "Mommy" all the time.)

I'll put up the required templates as required by the Code of Uncyclopedia, so look for it!

Fatherly hugs from King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:29, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

It's now official: you're my daughter!

All right, it's all official now; you're my adopted daughter. Seriously, if you have any questions, problems, suggestions, want proofreading, a Pee Review, or whatever just let me know. And of course you can ask anyone you want, certainly The Thinker; I like having a variety of people's opinions, and you probably do too. The main advantage to the adoption process is that there's someone you can bug all the time without actually bugging them. I don't know all the answers by any means, but I probably know someone who does know an answer.

Also you're now part of a line: User:Cainad adopted User:Miley Spears; Miley adopted User:Why do I need to provide this?; and Why? or Whyner (I'm called both) adopted User:Puffskein. Also don't be thrown if User:PuppyOnTheRadio claims to be your great uncle, or User:Syndrome claims to be your stepgrandfather or some such. They're a great group of people, and we kid each other about that stuff. Feel free to post on my talk page anytime. Also if you get tired of typing in my name, you can go to User:Why? which redirects to my user page. (And it's also a tradition to vandalise my user page at least once). Fatherly hugs, Why do I need to provide this? 02:35, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Also my cousin is supposedly Bad Shroom. He threatened me if I didn't say that. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:23, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Show Me

Whyner told me you do art. Can I see it? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:13, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Of course I want to see your art too. I need something to tape to my refrigerator door. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:30, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

• prints
• other stuff (photography, some prints/scans of paintings, some sculptures).
• paintings on canvas

--Puffskein 00:31, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Cool! You should submit to ED:TToS it's in the Discordian section. It's going to be a book with writings, photos and artwork by professionals and amateurs and they're looking for more art. It's volunteer but there's some famous people who are contributing so it can get your work attention! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:46, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

I'm your Grandma!

I adopted Whyner and he adopted you, so that makes you my granddaughter! I see Whyner already posted your lineage. He's a great user and he's sweet. You can ask me for help too. Grandma huggies and kissies! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:53, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks everyone! --Puffskein 00:37, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

I'm your step-grandfather or something.

By being the daughter of YdoI, you are sort of related to me. Apology not accepted. We are enemies. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:39, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Oh don't be a grumpy grandpa. ;) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:00, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

The blinky was driving me crazy. --Puffskein 00:35, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Aww, WHY? can't I stay mad at you? I forgive you. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:36, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Movement catches my eye, then I have to pounce at the computer. --Puffskein 00:38, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

I like the blinky blinky. WHY? Pup

If my daughter doesn't want blinky blinky on her talk page, then no blinky blinky on her talk page. I don't care if you are her great uncle and step-grandfather. You stop bothering my little girl. Otherwise, I'll tell Miley. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:53, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

I'm keeping an eye on my relatives! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 06:02, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

About 'Show Me Art'

Hi, saw your art sharing. Nice artists. Do you know of Alex Grey? If not, an amazing artist, and if you do, never mind. Very good articles, you've gotten my vote for Madeline alone. Aleister in Chains 01:56, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

I've heard of Alex Grey. He did an exhibit recently of very awesome stuff. and Nice Artists? Not sure what you mean - all of the art I shared is my own. --Puffskein 02:01, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Commander of the Order

Commander of the Order

Congratulations! I added your name to the Commander (CUN) section of Order of Uncyclopedia. You qualify on the basis of being the primary author of a featured article. You can add an appropriate flag to your name if you like (you can see what others have done there; a flag is optional). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:27, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Rearranging your user page

I noticed you're working on rearranging your user page. I might be able to help you with that, unless you're like me and want to first try to do it yourself. :-) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:44, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Well, I'd like to give it a try. I'm used to aligning stuff in LaTeX ;) using the "geometry" package, which is way easier than wiki alignment. How do I make things be parallel, on the same plain, but one to the left and one to the right? --Puffskein 17:49, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

It figures I'd offer to help and you'd ask a question I don't know the answer to. And here I was all set to impress you. I was hoping you just wanted to center everything, which I do know how to do. The problem with using different templates is that some are set by default to appear on the left, some in the center, so what works for one template doesn't work for another. I'd recommended asking User:PuppyOnTheRadio or User:Syndrome, both of whom are better at wiki code than I am. I'm more a webpage man. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:58, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

I'm totally the person who goes into RadioShack and asks for the most obscure thing possible, leaving the guy who rushed over to help the chick embarrassed and unhelpful. Sorry. I think it's just that the CUN template is centered by default. So I should just deal with it, and stop being such a control freak. --Puffskein 18:01, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Up to you, of course. But I imagine one of them could do it for you. I'm going to be offline for a little while, so happy editing! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:03, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

One other suggestion. When you're editing and want to check to see if it's working the way you want, you can use the Preview button (it doesn't work for absolutely everything, but does for most things). That way you don't save a lot of versions that you really don't want. I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:12, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

The preview button wasn't particularly helpful for the alignment stuff - but yes, I should use that more. --Puffskein 20:41, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

This is using a table to have things lined up. Have a look at the code I used. The |- at the start makes a new row, and the | at the start creates a new cell	If you've used html tables before it uses much the same language and similar styling. I have the valign="top" on the line to have things vertically aligned to the top
You can have coding at the start of a cell. I'm actually explaining this really badly, but I do like using tables to set up my layout. This is a really good guide and probably a lot easier to understand than what I'm doing.

“	This is a template called vquote. These are good for quotes to be dropped at the side of a page rather than across the entire span. I recently stole this from Wikipedia (and tweaked it a little.)	”
—PuppyOnTheRadio, The bullshit he says on talk-pages

Another neat thing I've come across is {{-}}. What this does if you have any hanging stuff from a float is makes a nice break at the bottom of the section.

So this text would have been right below the other stuff above. Doing it like this means you have a nice neat break from the previous section. I'd also suggest <Gallery> as an option for setting out images.

Any other coding questions, you know where I am. Pup

That was super useful - I didn't know html-like tables worked in wiki-land. Good to know. Dealing with hanging stuff was an issue I had with Madeline so I might have to go back and fix it the right way. Thanks. --Puffskein 15:11, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

Sometimes HTML works the way it ordinarily would on a webpage, and sometimes it gets weird. For example, in html, my current signature would read Throatwobbler Mangrove.  Father WHY??? (confessions)  04:40, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

How's my girl?

I haven't seen you around the past few days. I hope you're doing well. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:11, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

I've been working 16 hour days - so I haven't been around here much. But I'm alive, at least. --Puffskein 02:18, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Well, that's good to know. Hope you'll get a break from that soon. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:28, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Glad this week is over. --Puffskein 04:09, November 14, 2009 (UTC)

Madeline was Pee Reviewed

I Pee Reviewed Madeline based on version 4199514 of 13:38, November 4, 2009. I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:23, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

The Madeline shows were on when I was a kid - which I'm pretty sure is before the movies, because I'm not that young. A lady doesn't give away her age, but lets just say, I'm older than Thinker. I'm going to try to work on the article tonight, after I go for a run.

You asked for it. And yes, I did draw these. And yes, I feel a little wrong for doing it, but I do adore redheads so.

--Puffskein 01:05, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

I hate to quote that rival online encyclopedia, but I'll go to great lengths to show off my bits of knowledge that are essentially worthless. "The earliest appearance of Madeline in the cinema was in the 1952 animated short Madeline." It was significant enough to be nominated for an Academy Award. "In 1989, DiC Entertainment in co-operation with Cinar, adapted the first Madeline book into an animated television special for HBO." As for the uncensored naked pic of Madeline, this may sound weird, but I find it cute. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:24, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Damn, I'd forgotten about the super old short film. I'm not *that* old. It's a little creepy that you find the uncensored pic of Madeline cute. But she does have a cute little "no regard for anyone or anything" bush. --Puffskein 18:05, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Public Service Announcement

Contrary to popular belief, being a lesbian does not make you a plumber. --Puffskein 18:24, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

But does being a plumber make you a lesbian? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:34, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Not essential, but it helps to understand plumbing. User talk:PuppyOnTheRadio

I get it! --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:55, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Jamie Lynn Spears Preggers Thank

User:Miley Spears/Vote Jamie Lynn Spears DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:46, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

NotM

I just now saw your comment on my split vote on NotM--sorry I didn't notice it earlier. I hope it didn't bother you, but I wanted to recognize Hiatus Hernia who had the unfortunate timing to come here after another noob (you) wrote a fine article that was featured. If there was a close score I wouldn't have done it, but obviously the score isn't close. I got NotM by coming here when potential noobs were going back to school, so had very little competition. I'm very glad you're here, and hope you know that. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  07:36, November 28, 2009 (UTC)

Aww, don't worry about it. Like I said, I'm used to it. I was just kidding about being insulted. --Puffskein 15:23, November 28, 2009 (UTC)

Voting and Politics

As your adopter, I feel it's my responsibility to let you know how you can have your say around here. Some of this (maybe all of it) you already know, but it's here to check out. Voting for this month is almost over, although VFH and VFP continue.

VFH You can vote for, against, or just comment on any article that's being considered for being a featured article of the day.

VFP You can do the same with an image.

NotM This is to vote on Noob of the Month.

WotM This is to vote on Writer of the Month.

RotM This is to vote on Review of the Month (does Pee Reviews--when you're finished with Mermaids, you might want to ask for a Pee Review).

UOTM This is to vote on Uncyclopedia of the Month.

UGotM This is to vote on Useless Gobshite of the Month (this is a joke award).

There are others that come up from time to time, but those are the regulars (unless I forgot something).

Very funny. "Unless I forgot something" and then didn't sign. lol DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:50, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, how ironic I am. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:21, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

There is also this and this. ~ 17:32, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:21, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

It's a mermaid!

Father Why? has another baby! It's a bouncing little mermaid.

I adopted her too, so please say hi to your new little sister Little Mermaid!  Father WHY??? (confessions)  18:58, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Congraduations!

This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Why do I need to provide this?.

Congratulations, graduate! Let me be the first to congratulate you for winning NotM (yes, I know it hasn't technically been awarded yet, but I can add). With a featured article and NotM under your belt, you're no longer a noob. I'll still be around if you want some Fatherly advice/encouragement/hugs, so feel free to call on my anytime. I'll always be your father here!  Father WHY??? (confessions)  01:16, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

I'll be the second and I'll always be your Grandma! Which is really weird cuz I'm still in school! lol DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:31, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

And the Penguins Win it!! And NoTM

Thanks everyone who voted for me me!! I'm trying really hard to keep up with my writing, and working 60 hour work weeks. I need to say, that this night has been awesome, a best friend came into town, and we went to a hockey game, and my team won, and now this. We also had good wine after the game, and good food. Today really couldn't have been better, unless I hadn't also worked - then it would have been better.

Thanks again.

Go Penguins. --Puffskein 00:17, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the thanks. While there's not any requirement to do so, it's common here to put a thank you template on the talk page of each person who voted for an article you wrote, or voted for an award you were given. I don't know how much you're up on making templates, but many people (like me) cheat by finding a thank you template they like, then editing to change the text and the picture. Also did you see your write up as NotM on the Main Page? I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  08:26, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

I will look into the thank you template - though I have to say, the concept of plopping a box on someones talk page seems odd to me. What's wrong with a good old fashion handtyped thank you? --Puffskein 14:19, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Cool people do both. But neither are required. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 15:45, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

A handtyped thank you would be great. But, as Syndrome said, neither are required (although one or the other would look nice). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:05, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Like Why? is trying to say, it can be a good thing to thank people one way or another who voted for you, but it really isn't a requirement. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 21:42, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Well, thanks for the advice. --Puffskein 02:26, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, but, like, you don't have to. It's just something you might want to do. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:40, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Is this discussion getting repetitive, or is it just me? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:04, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

PuppyOnTheRadio would like to bless
that salty lass, Puffskein
for your efforts in improving our world by
upholding the fine NOTM tradition.
May you treasure your Puppy blessing always

Whassup?

I haven't seen you here for a while. Don't forget your Grandma! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:01, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Noobs tend to disappear forever once they win NotM. It's tradition. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 04:45, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

I miss you too, Puffskein. And remember, in our family, breaking tradition is traditional. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:56, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Hi guys!! I miss you too. Work has been really crazy, so I haven't been around. I have stuff I'm planning to write over the holidays. I have not disappeared, and I'm trying to write more/ read more / review more - but um, work doesn't agree. hah. --Puffskein 02:07, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

We miss you! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:35, December 27, 2009 (UTC)

Look, I finally wrote something! HowTo:Smuggle a snow globe --Puffskein 03:55, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it's great you're writing! I likely won't be able to check it out for 24 hours or so, but will definitely check it out. Fatherly hugs. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:45, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

I enjoyed the article; scary that it's based on truth. If you want an official Pee Review, let me know. Here's one suggestion, though; you might want to add this, which is from the very real http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm in regard to allowed carry-on items: "Snow globes and like decorations regardless of size or amount of liquid inside, even with documentation. No." Also sorry it took me so long to comment; I've been very busy, and forgot I promised I'd check this out until a little bit ago.King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:49, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

If you think it is in need of a full out peeing on, then I will take your advice, and submit it for that. Do you think it needs that? I haven't finished fixing Madeline - I don't know how to make it funny, and not just sad. It turns out, I find really sad fucked up things hilarious. --Puffskein 03:29, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Personally, I think virtually every article could benefit from a Pee Review. Even the best writers in the world have editors who go over their work. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:36, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

It has been submitted for a pissing. --Puffskein 05:13, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Unfortunately, the timing's a bit off for me. It may 48 to 72 hours before I can get to this. I hope that's OK. If not, you can certainly ask someone else to Pee Review it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  07:01, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

I am in no hurry. Take as much time as you need/want. If someone else picks up the review, cool, if not, cool too. --Puffskein 23:31, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Yellow Snow Review

I Pee Reviewed HowTo:Smuggle a snow globe based on version 4311916 of 04:11, January 3, 2010. I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:31, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Finally made some edits. Sorry it took so long. This is the first weekend in this goddamn new year that I haven't worked 'all weekend. Only part of it. I've reworded a bit in the backdoor smuggling section - with more specific word choice. Though I did not use the term anal sphincter, as that refers to a very specific part of the rectal system. --Puffskein 02:01, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, you can take as long as you like to edit your own article, so no apology is necessary. Also this work thing--is that where you do something and someone pays you to do it? Seems like I got paid for something sometime in the distant past. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:52, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

I like the changes you've made. When you're finished with this, let me know because I want to nom it for VFH! But being me, I can't leave well-enough alone, so do have a couple notes.

I made a couple slight changes, I'm afraid--feel free to revert them. I fixed one minor spelling error. And with "...a plethora of other items."--the link wasn't working, so I fixed it. I also made a slight rewording which you're of course welcome to change; I made it "a plethora of other highly dangerous items." On "...alternate universe where they have buttons for eyes...."--I didn't get this reference. I still think the duct taped globe image could be made a little better, but that would likely require a lot of work, so don't worry about it. All in all, I like it! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:38, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

I do not disagree with any of the minor changes.

The button eyes reference, is a reference to Coraline, where her parents are trapped inside a snow globe. Seriously see Coraline if you have not.

Anyway, I'll crack open Gimp and see what I can do about that image.

--Puffskein 02:19, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

OK, the eye thing is cool then! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:30, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Fixing that image isn't really going to work. I tried - the shapes aren't going to line up, and I think the one I posted is actually the best go of it. --Puffskein 03:37, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

No big deal. I probably spend too much time staring at women's globes anyway. Unless you have more changes to make, I plan to VFH! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:45, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

I don't have any other changes to make - until the TSA does something else dumb. --Puffskein 03:57, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

I'm off to nominate your globes--globe! I meant globe.  :-D King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:23, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

It's a boy!

It's a baby and his name is HELPME because that's what his mother screamed when he was born. And look, he's already learning how to read!

So go say hi to your new little brother! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:33, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your support, daughter

User:Why do I need to provide this?/UotM Thanks King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:09, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Ooops...

I was writing something to HELPME the other day regarding NotMs who were still active and I neglected to include you in the list. If you read that and were offended, then I apologise. If you didn't read it, then... ah... it didn't happen, and please ignore this post. Pup 06:37, 18/02/2010

No worries. It is pretty hard to offend me - I mean, with friends like Thinker - you can't be easily offended. --Puffskein 03:26, February 19, 2010 (UTC)

Nice to see the family working out their problems. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:34, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

People love your wonderful globes

Featured Article: HowTo:Smuggle a snow globe

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

Congratulations and well done, daughter! Feel free to copy this to your user page. I'm a proud Papa! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:39, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! You're the best Dad I've ever had. --Puffskein 02:23, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

You never got a template for phone sex?

Featured Article: UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

Looks like no one ever gave you one of these, either! But Daddy fixed it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:42, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Also there's got to be some way to make that box shorter. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:47, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

I'm bad at this template thing. I'll put those up. I might have some time to make a thank you template this weekend. --Puffskein 01:51, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Here ya go. Use whichever one you want. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:12, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

I'd just made a minor adjustment to {{FH}} which had meant that it became a uniform size, but given that this is transcluded onto a number of pages then I changed it back. If it's just a smaller number of these then you can do {{FH|Article=UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize{{!}}UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a <br />go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize}} which will do this:-

Pup 04:35, 20/02/2010

Ignore my last comment. Just changed the template so that you can do this:-

{{FH|Article=UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize|display=UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a <br />go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize}}

Featured Article: UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a
go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

Pup 04:41, 20/02/2010

I noticed the size difference too. What if we used a slightly smaller font? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  14:28, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

Without a major change to {{FH}} we can't change the size of font in it. Well, not without surrounding it in a div or something. I'd actually do:

Featured Article: UnNews:Free in-app commerce...

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

...if it were mine. but:

Featured Article: UnNews:Free in-app commerce is a go on iPhone, oldest profession first to capitalize

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

... can work - it's just really ugly. Pup 21:11, 21/02/2010

Boys, size doesn't matter. --Puffskein 21:54, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yea, contrary to common belief, it's usually boys who get worried about size, not girls. I like the template that's the same size as the standard, the one with "UnNews:Free in-app commerce..." King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:23, February 22, 2010 (UTC)

Really? Pup 22:17, 21/02/2010

Oops!

Now, more informational than ever. XD ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:48, 1 March 2010

Hey Daughter you have a new Brother!

Here's my new baby Rifting who's already learning from his older brother! Yes, being a man I have to bottle feed my sons. But if you know someone who would loan her breasts....

So go say hi to your new baby brother! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:29, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

You're a great granddaughter so here's a cookie

User:Miley Spears/Cookie Grandma DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:44, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Our family tree

This is by User:Pelargonium.

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:48, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

It's nice to have a family tree that branches. --Puffskein 15:46, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

You're back!

I'm so happy I'm weeing on the carpet! Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 04:36, Apr 12 2010 UTC

Well, I haven't written anything for a while - so I don't know if that can really count as back. I see you have learned to go outside --Puffskein 01:06, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Well welcome back anyway. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:01, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

Gee, when I said welcome back you were already gone again. I'm going to be gone until about 5 May, but before I leave I wanted to say I just looked at Madeline again because I like looking at her naked the article and hoped you might have had a chance to make some improvements to what I thought could become a featured article. I saw you haven't, and know that you've been gone a lot because of real life stuff. But just thought I'd let you know I noticed. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:42, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

I had to wait several weeks to respond, just for shits and giggles. Yeah - I spend most of my time working, and haven't had any good ideas for articles. I also haven't had time to mess with Madeline. I greatly appreciate the feedback - but am a bit out of ideas on how to act on that feedback. Anyone is welcome to contribute. I don't bite unless you're into that. --Puffskein 11:35, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

You bite? Cool! But not too hard, please. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:49, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Think I'm going to peace out. --Puffskein 04:04, May 26, 2010 (UTC)