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Kayloo Entertainment
- "Justice" is what they call revenge.
- Television is how they avoid thinking.
- Wars make them self-righteous.
- The Internet exists only to feed their lust.
Kayloo News
For the first time in years, no US presidential candidate has obtained a single [electoral] vote.
- 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow (Pictured)
- TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"
- Springfield infant arrested in second Trump shooting
- Obama to dead people: "Don't boo, vote!"
- Repeatedly haunted astronomers change the name of Betelgeuse
- Saw XI's poster design changed again
- 2024 Presidential election too close to call for the third day running
- President Biden apologizes for no apparent reason
- UnNews endorses Kamala Harris so the real news doesn't have to
- Conservative UnNews contributor rage-quits over this, then rejoins days later when he gets bored
- Donald Trump enlists former NFL problem child Antonio Brown, introduces Trump Fries
- Fire-type Pokémon Typhlosion faced with rampant sexual harrasment charges
- 10 out of 9 people unable to use a number line
- David Duke endorses Jill Stein, claims Trump "not racist enough"
- Doctor: Kamala Harris not elderly white man with dementia
- Rapper and rapist Sean "P. Diddler" Combs admits to baby oil addiction
- Joe Biden "accidentally" endorses Trump on Instagram
- Lon Chaney and son endorse Kamala Harris
- Lucy makes surprise appearance in fighting video game
- And on SNL!
- 16 Takeaways on why news stories these days are dominated by takeaways
- Florida Man tries and fails to get Trump shot again. Nobody cares this time, not even Trump.
Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Aaron Rodgers screwing over the New York Jets • The New York Yankees' World Series win drought, courtesy of the Dodgers
Recent deaths: Liam Payne • The chances of a One Direction reunion • Yahya Sinwar • Phil Lesh • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay
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