User:Neon was taken
- "Justice" is what they call revenge.
- Television is how they avoid thinking.
- Wars make them self-righteous.
- The Internet exists only to feed their lust.
- Trump ought to create Nazi tanks, with the help of Elon Musk (Pictured)
- Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian!
- The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating
- Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result.
- Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day."
- Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time
- Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza
- Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA
- Trump Taken audition leaked
- Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay
- Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires
- NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again
Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion
Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse
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