User:Kalir/arch2

Archive 10: Because I'm archiving in binary order. Fuck off.

Gaia Online

Im not a vandal the users like to ruin tell llies about Gaia an Lanzer that isnot aloud. Its not aloud theyc an tell likes about Gaia and Lanzer. No lies. Kanomi 07:49, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Nobody

I noticed when you edited the Super Smash Bros page you had a pretty high opinion of yourself... "Do not tarnish this game with your quotes, nobodies" I would just like you to keep your opinions on people to yourself.

Yes i am a whiner.

Well then, to you I pose a query. Were those quotes on that page, by any means, actually helping the humor content of the page? Or were they one-liners that took all of three seconds to think up? Were the people saying the quotes at all appropriate for the job?

See, this is why people don't like Oscar Wilde quotes anymore. --Ж Kalir, Awesome Author_{(alliteration affords additional awesome)} 16:09, 5 April 2007 (UTC)

Hi

Do To Your Recent Ramblings on my talk page i Have Invited You To Be A Member of The American Otaku Association. Just take this template [ [Category: The American Otaku Association] ] and place it at the bottom of your user page and your name will be added to the list of members (There are Spaces Between the brackets be sure to remove them.) --AyumiKitada LoTAOA

Thanks, but I don't really edit the Japan-related articles that much. I will, however, design you a userbox if you so please. --Ж Kalir, Awesome Author_{(alliteration affords additional awesome)} 04:33, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

please design Us A userbox That would Be so Cool of you. Thank you

in return you have the respect and admiration of the AOA and you are welcome to be a member any time you fill like it and your Input will be welcome. also if you don't mind ill add you to my friends list on my user page.

--AyumiKitada 05:35, 26 February 2007 (UTC) LoTAoA

once agen thank you--AyumiKitada 06:14, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

I give you your hippie back

...seeming as Game:Edit! The game has been deleted. *carries hippie back into hippie storage*. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 17:58, 30 July 2006 (UTC)

Hey Kalir!

When you have a chance could you tell me why the bit of code I put on my userpage to randomize some quotes outputs {{#if:AlexJohnc3|on AlexJohnc3}}? Thanks! -AlexJohnc3 ^Complain F@H 21:39, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the information. -AlexJohnc3 ^Complain F@H 22:20, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

YOU, SIR, ROCK.

[23:01] MoneySignAway: Caps-lock.
[23:01] CowMan339: cruise control for cool
[23:01] flyingfeline: no.
[23:01] Kalir: Cruise control for "I would like very much to banned please."

THANK YOU. Have a cookie.

Hinoa has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

— Major Sir Hinoa (Plead) (KUN) (01:43, 7 October 2006 (UTC))

XMas

Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW! Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 15:59, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Sig image

Just so you know, I've disabled the image in your sig until you can make it smaller - there's a 20px height limit for images in sig templates. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 04:47, 14 Jan 2007

The Unrated Director's Cut

ynnaD (---) has joined #uncyclopedia <Kalir> Hinoa is an enemy of the league the same way an inconveniently placed wall is an enemy of the Interstate Highway System. <Hinoa> Hi. <Olipro-> or mean his mum <Olipro-> hey ynnaD <Hinoa> How's that, Kalir? <Kalir> You don't ban Benson for any malicious reason, it's just what you do. <Olipro-> we need a scapegoat to blame <Kalir> Likewise, an inconveniently placed wall has no vendetta against the people who drive into it doing 90 mph. <Kalir> As a further analogy, both events are slightly amusing to watch. <Olipro-> convenient scapegoats are so hard to find these days <Bradaway> what? <Bradaway> did someone call me? <Olipro-> haha <Olipro-> just the man <Kalir> What's teh scapegoat for? <Olipro-> "Brad... we've got a special mission for you" <Bradaway> oh, ok <Bradaway> just so long as it isn't anything dangerous like last time <Olipro-> Kalir, take the floor Kalir nicks the floor Kalir (---) has left #uncyclopedia ("Suckers!") <Bradaway> shit <Bradaway> we needed that <Olipro-> excellent <Zombiebaron> Bradaphraser! <Olipro-> no, that was the plan (Kalir to Olipro-) That was what you meant, right? You are now known as Bradaphraser <Bradaphraser> Zombie! <Zombiebaron> baron <Bradaphraser> what up, dude? <Bradaphraser> Baron <Bradaphraser> sorry (Olipro- to Kalir) we needed to con Kalir into thinking you were the scapegoat (Olipro- to Kalir) oh fuck <Olipro-> we needed to con Kalir into thinking you were the scapegoat <Zombiebaron> Brad: Just being awesome <Bradaphraser> haha <Bradaphraser> sweet <Bradaphraser> you enjoying the share of blame for all the problems of the wiki? Kalir (---) has joined #uncyclopedia <Kalir> I'M ON TO YOU! Kalir (---) has left #uncyclopedia (Kalir to Olipro-) O RLY? <Bradaphraser> heh <CRM-114> lol Mark482 has quit (Remote closed the connection) <Zombiebaron> Brad: There are problems with the wiki? <Zombiebaron> I havn't seen any (Olipro- to Kalir) well, you're under arrest for theft (Kalir to Olipro-) Ah... shit. <Olipro-> I love those little intricate jokes Kalir (---) has joined #uncyclopedia <Bradaphraser> that's what people keep telling me... <Olipro-> now someone QDB <Zombiebaron> wink wink nudge nudge say no more <Olipro-> and arrest Kalir Zombiebaron is now known as ZB

Nothing here. Srsly. --Ж Kalir, Awesome Author_{(alliteration affords additional awesome)} 01:59, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

F@H

This user joined the Folding@home Team , because they give a damn & so should you.

0

I have contributed 0 pints points to the Uncyclopedia Folding@home team.

0

And have a userbox or two. 20:28, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Retribution!

Have it noted that as of your actions WAR has been declared!

Knux has declared war on this user. May god have mercy on their soul.

Also, my Blue Orcs struck back. Your baby lamb has been butchered and they left only the head! Knux 22:06, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

I had a baby lamb? Cool. --Ж Kalir, Awesome Author_{(alliteration affords additional awesome)} 23:37, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks For The Vote

Zombiebaron thanks you for supporting him to become admin. I was even more lazy, I stole this from Braydie.

Sorry about the clutter this template causes. --The Zombiebaron 00:19, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

	Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof!
	Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

--El Zoof 01:21, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

WINNER!!!

You have won the coveted Bucket of Piss award. I would congratulate you, but this isn't anything to be proud about.

Heh. --Starnestommy 01:12, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

***You are Dead***

• Restart
• Restore
• Quit

--Starnestommy 02:39, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

Hi

Hi, I was thinking about this a long time the other day. And erm..

FU KALIR

Thanks. —Braydie 22:07, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

As promised in a /quit message sometime like 2 days ago or something

Loogie has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

For voting for me on UotM ^_^ --officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 15:54, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote!

For voting for her article, UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure, has awarded you: The inside of a magic 8-ball. Now all your choices will be easy.

Thanks for the vote...

For WoTM in March. Big Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:53, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

Big Brother

Somebody has been vandalizing a set of templetes which are themed after Orwell's novel 1984. Earlier, you acted on the matter and wrote:

Yes, but in the real world, 1984 wasn't controlled by three psychological masterminding parties.

I just want to say thank-you. --The Odious Wasp 17:49, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

DUNE CAT!!!!

I ARE DUNECAT I CONTROLS THE SPICE, I CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE. —Braydie 11:52, 14 April 2007 (UTC)

Cookin' Cookie

The Great Uncyclopedian has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

'Cause I want to. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Ask Hal 9000

Like I said early on on the talk page of AH9K (I think) I don't mind other people answering as Hal at all; I was thinking about an answer involving a built in code that kept Hal from taking over the world, but that seemed silly. So it's fine that you answered instead. I've answered most, but not all of the questions. It's a little different from Ask Cthulhu because the questions aren't e-mailed in and are just posted, so there's no curating of the questions. Unfortunately, lately the questions havn't been very good in my opinion; I think the stuff in the archives is a lot funnier than it is now.

My thoughts on being Hal are simple; try to use phrases from his lines from the movie, remember Hal is a computer and has a different point of view than a person and different motivations, and try to be funny. My personal favorite bit is where Hal complains about being taken down by "an angry astronaut with a screwdriver." The trick is to be Hal-like while also being funny.

So have fun with it and don't feel like it's just my thing. I just thought of it. That doesn't mean it's mine. If it's anyone's, it's Kubrick's or Clarke's.

--Hrodulf 17:03, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

Aight, cool. Also, WHY THE FUCK DID I WEAR A COAT TODAY?! IT'S BLOODY SUMMER! --Ж Kalir, Awesome Author_{(alliteration affords additional awesome)} 20:28, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

I don't know, force of habit? --Hrodulf 20:37, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

By the way, check out Forum:One year of Ask Hal 9000. --Hrodulf 23:09, 27 April 2007 (UTC)