Uncyclopedia:Kiss My Ass Holiday Competition

*Kiss My Ass*, it's Christmas!

Kiss My Ass Holiday Competition
Christmas cards you wished you didn't even
Awarded for	Holiday themed images and templates you can't un-see
Founder	Zana Dark [Banned for life]
Reward	{{Holiday Victor}} / {{Kiss My Ass}}
First awarded	2021
Last awarded	N/A
Preceeded by	Uncyclopedia: Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball 2021
Followed by	The Article Whisperer 2022

I know what you're thinking. The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball just ended, what the hell? Judging isn't even completed and there's already another competition? How am I supposed to handle all this chaos, you're crazy! Well, my psychiatrist said it's just a phase I'm going through, and these things have a way of working themselves out—don't worry so much about the long term effects, suck it up, and enter!

Who can enter?

It is mandatory that all registered members of Uncyclopedia participate. That being said, entry and judging are voluntary and there are few to little consequences if you choose not to participate, although we might make you file for bankruptcy with insider trading. There are three categories of entry: *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Cards, the Holiday Animation Festival, and the Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer.

How does it work?

As with the other competitions, compose your work in your userspace and fill out the relevant tables below. If the entry is an image-only submission, just provide a link to the file page [[:File:LikeThis.png]]. The competition will remain open for two weeks from its start date (December 13th, 2021), after which the page shall be protected and judging will commence (December 28th). The results of this will be announced a week or so after that (around January 5th, 2022).

RULES

1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to each category of the contest.
2. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppets are ineligible.

All pieces entered in the competition have to be NEW and ORIGINAL

Works entered in this competition must be created after the contest's official start date. Image-only submissions and Holiday Animation Festival images must be original works. Either 'shopped to some degree, created entirely by you, or otherwise edited in some meaningful way. Basically, no copyright infringement.

Uhm, what if I have no imaging skillz? You may use other people's images to create either a conceptual template or an article, but remember: “A picture is worth a thousand words.” – Oscar Wilde

JUDGING - click here for instructions »

1. Overall Humor – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
2. Quality of Imagery – As the hilarity of this contest is mostly visual, judges shall decide this field based on their perception of digital imaging skillz. Pornography is frowned upon and will lead to disqualification and a possible ban (this should go without saying).
3. Concept and Use of Verbiage – Profanity, obscenity, debauchery and lewdness are encouraged, and although there is no discredit for using existing jokes, zany concepts are worth more points.
4. Originality – Extra points are awarded for style, and flourish, etc. (depending upon the opinions of the judge).

WINNERS

The champion for each category shall be entitled * Holiday Victor *, decorated with the appurtenant award, and is exempt from kissing my ass, your ass, his ass, etc. First and second runners-up shall receive * Kiss My Ass* honoree awards. The entrant with the most points shall be awarded the Grand Prize, the Golden Pile of Potatoes. Zana Dark, is disqualified and removed from this contest due to her recent and widely supported permaban. She will not be celebrated in any way, shape or form.

*Kiss My Ass* Holiday Cards

CONCEPT

Holiday Greeting Cards date back to the early Egyptian days of writing messages on scrolls of papyrus, and are even predated by the ancient Chinese tradition of exchanging messages of goodwill for the celebration of New Years. The first known Christmas card was recorded in 1611, and was more of a small booklet given to King James VI of Scotland (who was also King James I of England). Holiday cards have since gained their prevalent usage beginning in the 1840s, but were so expensive that most people couldn't afford them.

Merry Chrizzle, Happy Hanukizzle,
and a Kick Ass Kwizzle from Me & Snoop Dizzle!

---

That's where you come in! You know how to make some pretty sweet images—I mean, you're way better than fucking Hallmark. And now, with the internet, there's no need for expensive printing costs or postage fees! This category is for entries with a Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Wintertime theme.

Entries:

Entry	Username – Comment
	Zana Dark – I hope I'm not the only one that enters, what am I gonna do with all this punch and pie?
	PF4Eva – Mazel tov!
Sorry, I didn't bring an image. But my entry's here. And I brought an image, but I left it in my image box.	Tali64^2 - I'm working on something, but I'm too lazy to finish it. UPDATE: I finished it, but now I'm too lazy to update my entry page.
Heaven on Earth 2021	Kakun – That's a card.

Judging:

Shabidoo

ShabiDOO 12:39, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Zana Dark
Total: 0
	0	0
	0	0
Great effect Disqualified

PF4Eva
Total: 0
	0	0
	0	0
LULZ PF4Eva has decided to withdraw from the contest

Tali64^2
Total: 58
Entry Page	18	15
	15	10
DERP!

Kakun
Total: 63
Heaven on Earth 2021	18	10
	10	25
High marks for originality (making an article for a card) but it is hard to judge the other judgery.

Top 3

1. Kakun
2. Tali64^2
3. Betty White

Holiday Animation Festival

Disco Disco

CONCEPT

Time to spruce up the place! Family is coming over, and we can't have just plain, boring, regular old images. More color! More sparkle! Inspired by Adam Sandler's yuletide flop Eight Crazy Nights, this category is for animated images pertaining to all holiday subject matter (not just Hanukkah), especially those deemed to be of "bad taste".

Entries:

Entry	Username – Comment
	Zana Dark – It's the ghost of Kwanzaa Past from a book by Oscar Wilde I think.

Judging:

PF4Eva

PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 22:12, 30 December 2021 (UTC)

Zana Dark
Total: 0
	0	0
	0	0
This is actually pretty clever. It's too bad it isn't signed Marjorie Taylor Greene. Disqualified

Shabidoo

ShabiDOO 12:41, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Zana Dark
Total: 0
	0	0
	0	0
Disqualified

Top 3

Since the only entrant is persona non grata and therefore disqualified and banned for life, here are the Top Three

1. Chuck Jones
2. Tex Avery
3. Betty White

The Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer

QUALITY is subjective.

CONCEPT

Hey, I don't fucking celebrate Christmas! It's okay, we understand. Pick another day of celebration, any day. This category is designed for over-the-top images that are hilariously bad, often created with MS Paint or hand-drawn, or a holiday-themed article. Your inspiration may be a holiday of any kind, including fictional holidays you made up yourself.

Entries:

Entry	Username – Comment
	Zana Dark – Sadly, this sale only happens one day a year.
	Tsongasman – I do think his art would go along with renaissance artists, really.
	Shabidoo – Santa Has Three Penises
	Rafruher – A nutcracker doing his work
Kiss My Ass	Willy on wheels

Judging:

PF4Eva

PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 22:13, 30 December 2021 (UTC)

Zana Dark
Total: 0
	0	0
	0	0
"Satchmo? The trumpet player?" "No, the monster!" Disqualified

Tsongasman
Total: 83
	23	16
	21	23
"He's not even the best drummer in The Beatles!" - John

Shabidoo
Total: 74
Entry Page	10	15
	24	25
Why does Santa have three penises, and why are they purple? It looks more like purple broccoli to me.

Rafruher
Total: 91
	25	25
	16	25
Let's see you do that, Nicolas! :)

Willy on wheels
Total: 35
Entry Page	5	6
	12	12
I didn't get it. Sorry.

Top 3

1. Rafruher
2. Tsongasman
3. Shabidoo

Questions

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Awards, Decorations and Honours