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“Whenever the admins agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. Then I realize that by some strange coincidence, I am.”

~ Oscar Wilde on the admins

“If you take out the letters "D and I" and rearrange them, you get the word "man" which is what the admin is. Alternately, take out the final 2 letters and rearrange to make "mad" which is also what the admin is"”

~ Some tosser who is too smart (or not according to opinion) for their own good on the admin team

“The admins are never wrong. There, I said it. Now can I please have my cigarettes back?”

~ Oscar Wilde on the admins

Admins, or administrators, are the kind, cool, sexy, homosexual users who help run the potato stock website known as Uncyclopedia. They are always polite and courteous and are always helping better the site and make the writers happy, until they find a stash of cockroaches and huff them, then all hell breaks loose, thus it would never be appropriate to mock the admins in a subtle, mischievous or disingenuous way. Keep this in mind and you will always have a gloriously sexually perfect experience on Uncyclopedia.

Ultimate Guide adminstrators.jpg
GENERAL:

    I am the very model of a modern Major-General, 
    I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical 
    From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; 
    I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, 
    I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, 
    About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, 
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

ALL:
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. 
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. 
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

GENERAL:
    I'm very good at integral and differential calculus; 
    I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: 
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

GENERAL:
    I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's; 
    I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, 
    I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus, 
    In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

    I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies, 
    I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes! 
    Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, 
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

ALL:
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. 
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. 
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

GENERAL:
    Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform, 
    And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform: 
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

GENERAL:
    In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin", 
    When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin, 
    When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, 
    And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat", 
    When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, 
    When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery-- 
    In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy, 
    You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

ALL:
    You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. 
    You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. 
    You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

GENERAL:
    For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, 
    Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; 
    But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:
    But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, 
    He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

List of adminses

These Admins were recently arrested for indecent exposure and sodomy after a party involving Jimbo Wales, a goat, three clowns, a mime dressed as a clown, and former Saturday Night Live cast member Tracy Morgan.