Today's Featured Advert
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Walter Peyton "Place" Manning is the second-greatest quarterback in NFL history, and the older brother of the greatest QB in NFL history, Eli Messiah. He hasn't won a championship because his teammates suck royally. His entire career is exactly like his father's, promising but ultimately insufficient, and it's all his teammates' faults.
Manning is also noted for throwing an NFL record 78 touchdown passes during Madden NFL 2004, barely surpassing Dan Marino's 76 TDs during Tecmo Super Bowl in 1991.
Manning is a good teammate, and as such, hasn't said anything, but his entire team sucks except for him.
So far he has nothing to say about coaches and management. Some people say this is because he is white enough to not anger the people who sign the checks and call the plays that he then waves off with five seconds on the clock, but they're a bunch of racists. He's not like Terrell Owens, ok? And don't say Owens isn't white enough to be as ignorant as Manning and get away with it, ok. You don't understand NFL politics at all.
(more...)
Recently featured: Vietnam War Hoax - Uncyclopedia for Dummies - HowTo:Run away from home - Blackbeard Catering Company - Really Big Tree
Yesterday's Featured Advert
Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that you just lost the Game?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that you just lost the Game?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that you just lost the Game?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
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