Hello, SomeStupidUser, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:
Pee Review - a place to get detailed feedback on your articles
Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! MrXblow me 00:08, 24 November 2020 (UTC)
Hello, SomeStupidUser, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!
SomeStupidUser (talk) 17:58, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
Hey, sorry for the late reply, to vote at Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion, you should be able to simply click edit at the top of any section, then type your vote. You can kinda copy what other users have done to use the fancy keep/delete templates. Be sure to update the keep/delete number to update the score. Let me know if you have any questions. Cheers. MrXblow me 18:28, 9 November 2021 (UTC)
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Thailand International programs held on the 21/11/005. You have been approved for a lump sum pay out ofUS$550.000.00 (FIVE Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States dollars).
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.
This page is a [[:Uncyclopedia:Kiss My Ass Holiday Competition|Template:Kiss My Ass/ Holiday Competition]] entry. }}
}}
Seasons Greetings!
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penn Sign Up Today!(pretty please) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:23, 16 December 2021
Oh god I forgot about you while delivering the UnSignpost[edit source]
Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made aSandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:
Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost
Biopic
This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!
From The Logs
May 29, 2022 JJPMaster protected User talk:MrX [Edit=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) (Persistent shoe puppetry)
May 27, 2022 MrX changed block settings for Crocotta1 with an expiration time of 15:38, June 20, 2022 (account creation disabled, email disabled) (Continuous violation of her UN:OFFICE sanctions. See talkpage. Granting TPA, Cat, I hope you don't mind.)
May 12, 2022 PF4Eva blocked ARandomPage with an expiration time of 12 hours (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Pony-hating nonsense)
The former problem user known as Crocotta1, listed on UN:OFFICE for various reasons, has returned about... 2 months ago, showing much better behavior than before. While her issues are not entirely gone and there are issues unmentioned in the Office report, she appears to be much better in managing them now. We here at the UnSignpost hope this situation gets even better, as one of our editors appears to be rather harsh to Crocotta1 over the various vents she places on talkpages and numerous sexual references.
That's right, the basically-dead UnSignpost needs your help so that it works better. Now, before you leave HATE HATE HATs on ARandomPage's talkpage, let him explain. From his words: "The UnSignpost template in its current form is broken, as selecting the words/links/whatevers on the main stories will direct you to the logs section instead. I tried to fix it, but that broke some talkpages by centering their header text. Microsoft for POTUS also tried to fix it, solving both issues, but creating another one in that their version of the UnSignpost template looked a bit... ugly." And there you have it, the current situation of the UnSignpost wrapper template. If you are reading this and want to help out, message Page and discuss it with him (sorry, we couldn't find anyone else to direct you to) or fix it himself. I'm sure the idiot space will notice.
Biopic
This biopic is about being too lazy to get stuff done. For example, almost every editor and admin here is too lazy to keep this place feeling alive. The lead and only editor of the UnSignpost, ARandomPage, is too lazy to bring out regularly-scheduled UnSignposts, nor write an actual good biopic, which is why this is the "biopic" you'll be getting this issue.
From The Logs
There are literally no interesting logs, so the logs section will be empty.
ARandomPage is considering throwing UnSignposts into every active extended-confirmed user's talkpage, minus the ones who remove the UnSignposts.
Quote(s) of the Week
From now on, I will make Discord quotes up because I DON'T HAVE DISCORD. "PF4Eva: i'm thinking of blocking page for his bold edits, its starting to look reckless"