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- 1718 - King Charles XII of Sweden dies during an especially brutal lovemaking session with one of his Saracen boytoys.
- 1786 - The Grand Duchy of Tuscany, under Pietro Leopoldo I, bans the inhumane but totally awesome practice of crushing people to death with Elephants.
- 1825 - World's first railway line opens between Stockten and Darlington, England. Rail commuters are left waiting for a train until 1849. British Rail blames immigrants and good weather for the delay.
- 1872 - First ever football (soccer) match ends in 0-0 draw; people inexplicably decide to keep playing anyway.
- 1947 - Civil war in Palestine begins, leading to the worst case of Jews stealing your land since my house was taken in the divorce. Fuck you Nicole.
- 1966 - Barbados becomes independent from the United Kingdom, never liked barbados anyway ;_; texts the UK.
- 1982 - Michael Jackson's second solo album, Thriller is released worldwide. Jackson uses money from record sales to buy himself a new nose.