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November 8: Erectional Pleasure Day
- 1000000 BC - On the plains of Africa, the Australopithecus encounters an eerie black monolith, and for the first time in history, stands erect. Moments later, with "Also sprach Zarathustra" blaring in the background, the Australopithecus realizes his hands are now free, and begins to experiment with tool use. If you know what I mean.
- 1173 - The leaning tower of Pisa gives the first sign of its famous erectile dysfunction problem.
- 1653 - Taj Mahal, "Man's greatest erection for a woman" built in India.
- 1889 - Eiffel Tower erected, giving pleasure to all Parisians. Rioting ensues
- 1901 - Washington Monument erected as a reminder to all american men that their penis is more important than diplomacy