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- 1776 - American Revolutionary War: Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the Patriots. Startled revolutionaries say, "what the fuck is a Hessian"?
- 1915 - Albert Einstein solves the problem of Uncyclopedia's many inconsistencies and contradictions, which scientists had been trying to solve for centuries. His theory states that in fact space-time is inconsistent, and Uncyclopedia simply follows a geodesic line through it.
- 1960 - Clark Gable passes away. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
- 2001 Elmo (pictured) goes on a killing spree, attacking and consuming 23 children attending a Sesame Street convention.
- 2005 - The annual banquet the Feast of Saint Bukkake was cut short after the star of the feast declared "I'm full"!