UnBooks:Humpty Dumpty and the Space-Time Continuum
Humpty Dumpty And The Space-Time Continuum: The Story[edit | edit source]
There was once an egg that lived in Sweden and fought for the King
. Sweden was at war with Britain at the time. Humpty Dumpty was on his favorite wall of the Swedish Castle, when all the King’s horses and all the King’s men laid siege on the Swedish castle. Humpty Dumpty readied his cannon, took aim and fired. KABOOM! Hundreds of arrows fired at the castle walls and reflected off of Humpty Dumpty’s round, smooth exterior. Humpty Dumpty reloaded his cannon, KABOOM! Humpty Dumpty stood up and looked at the totally annihilated battlefield. He spotted a mile-long battering ram being carried by 20,000 soldiers. It rammed the castle, CRASH! Humpty Dumpty stumbled and he had a great fall
.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men cryogenically froze Humpty Dumpty for 400,000 years. 400,000 years later, all the King’s horses and all the Kings men found Humpty Dumpty, but couldn’t unfreeze him, and 2,000 years later, they came up with the technology to unfreeze him. And they did. They had the money and the technology and they could rebuild him and they did. They then put him in a time machine, and sent him 402,000 years back in time to inform all the King’s horses and all the King’s men to freeze Humpty Dumpty, so he could be rebuilt as he was in the future, for if all the King’s horses and all the King’s men did not do this, Humpty Dumpty would cease to be, for those events that were set in place, were caused by Humpty Dumpty.
The Consequences[edit | edit source]
If all the King’s horses and all the King’s men did not follow the orders of future Humpty Dumpty, it would rip a hole in the space-time continuum, collapsing all the earth into a pencil eraser, for everyone knows space-time is paracompact, much like a minivan, and if its Euler Characteristic is anything but 0, the non-compact 4-manifold will be turned into a spacetime vacuum, thus deeming the Cartesian coordinates to be something other than x, y, z, t, and the path connectidness in example geodesics in the space time would be thrown off, causing a mass understaggeringnisphiablenation-physics imbalance, therefore everything will stop, and possibly blow up, the earth would emit cosmic microwave black body radiation.
side effects of the quantumparaphysical space-time collapse[edit | edit source]
side effects include but not limited to: Humpty Dumpty not being rebuilt, Einstein being stupid, all the King’s horses and all the Kings men not existing, ruining this story.
Summary[edit | edit source]
In total this may have made little sense to those who did not read the fine print, under the picture. the totality of the quantum physics of the parallelogramificationisms are quite antisymmetricalphyisics.
The simple facts of this article help us to understand the instability of wormholes, and prostitutes
Views Statement[edit | edit source]
The views expressed do not reflect those of the authors, the official policy or position of anyone, the staff of the U.S. Defense Department, Sweden or Britain and should hereby not be read by anyone, anyone caught reading this blasphemy will be put to death immediately.
The Past • Back to the Future • Bill & Ted • Blackadder • Butterfly effect • Doctor Who • Dude, Where's My Time Machine? • End of Time • Flux capacitor • Future Santa • Ghost of Christmas Past • HowTo:Beat jet lag • HowTo:Go back in time and assassinate Hitler • HowTo:Travel Through Time • International Date Line • The IATT • Laws of Time Travel • SIDRAT • Space-Time Collapse • Stargate • STL • TARDIS • Temporal paradox • Temporal Prime Directive • Time machine • Time Travel Patents • Uncertainty Principle • Wayback Machine • The Present • UnBooks:Instant Messaging Translation Guide for 19th Century English Gentlemen • UnBooks:The Complete Asshole's Guide to Time Travel • UnNews:Correspondent travels back in time... • What If?:Dentists could time travel? • Why?:Won't time travel be invented? • Why?:Time Travel is Impossible • Why?:You Should Never Mess with the Space Time Continuum • The Future
