That time I wasn't raped by anything during my sojourn to a soda machine

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It looked kinda like this, only fucking delicious and it had a 7 instead of a 1.

Dude, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?

So there I was[edit]

pushing a fucking button on a soda machine, doing my drinking thing with the 7up shit and the coke, right? Like, Pepsi, root beer shit.

and this fucking soda[edit]

bursts out of the machine, sprays all over the place, and instead of going for the trashcans, it makes a sodaline straight for my mouth.

so I pulled out my[edit]

dick and fuck the shit out of the thing, and it tries to do nothing! WTF?

I barely got away with a major Dizziness and scratch me along the thigh region.

No, seriously. It didn't fucking rape me.

See also[edit]