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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Prize.

Prize is a something really bullshit when you come to. They shortly speak about and pass it to you like "urm, this is not really special as you think, but well, take this :)" on day you feel slightly "special", like something called "burfday" that obviously needless to celebrate. Well, you can have it your way, but don't waste bloody money that your parents hardly gained in this big depression. Prize have nothing to do otherwise than that. It means it is also an elephant in the sand that completely needless for people who are having normal human life like Bhudda or Gandhi. In addition, it has been becoming the bait of many cold-blooded person who failed to live in the 3D world and decided to earn bread in 2D world by gaining small salary with stealing internet users credit card informations.

Also, word "prize" is somewhat sounds similar with word "price". This is a clear proof of assertion that custom of giving prize has made under the purpose of big brother's dirty dirty moneymaking. I'd say its racketeering.

Origin of this ish custom[edit]

On the early day of mankind's short history, people have some fresh brains that bubbles with many new ideas to conquer this huge planet. But needless to say that there are enormous amount of natural enemies of human such as tigers, lions, lionkings, dragons, natural disasters, zombies, aliens, grues, armed kittens, Zeus & his sidekicks, you name it. So does there were many conflicts have raised. Of course, humanity was such a n00b and fragile. Half of soldiers sent to the frontlines were returned with becoming mere vegetables or dead. Mother and father and grandma were such grieved of their sons death, so they started to dedicate something special that can be considered as "honor" to the remains of them. This is the sad origin of prize.

But don't worry theres a happy origin too. On the same time, theres an Ancient Greek-Jewish-Corean man called Jonathan Huang. He is such a smart guy and had invented an almighty agricultural produce called potato, but indeed he had also created many other things that refer to potato including Potato head and Uncyclopedia. However, in some of his legacies theres a stuff stood out more starkly among many other inventions. It is a "Writer of the year award", which is given to a person who wrote some rated "R" funny books and silly news that could easily mislead the people. According to my school textbook, the first award have presentated to an anthropoid ape called Plies (the sources tell that he's resposible for the creation of hip-hop, the first music ever invented by black people in Africa before they spread around the globe) who credited as the composer of joke-collection called Aesop's fable. In the presentation of award, besower was a Chink and he accidentally speeched as "Behord! The filst winner of this supercalifragilisticexpialidocious awald, is PRIZE!" and the audience were like "OMGWTF", but Plies accepted with a smile. Since then, people and media cynically started to call the general term of award as "prize", nevertheless it became a formal English word so far.
So does the word "prize" is came from mistakenly pronounced "Plies", but who cares its a kewl thing.

Example of prize that make people happy[edit]

Prize is a something really difficult. Just like on valentines day, usual ugly girl would like to give her boyfriend a pile of chocolate to growth their love. Indeed its a pretty good thing, (although giving him a chocolate syrop sprinkled pussy would be absolutely better) but imagine if the boyfriend is alergic with all chocolate oriented stuffs. The boy would suddenly vomit the precious gift and start to vibrate like evil has surrounded, and few minutes later, he would be sent to God. This unexpectable thing, is pretty expectable, because "prize" is something that very arbitrary thing and as I told it is needless on human's life. But anyway, people love to celebrate. Yes, specially people living in western nations, love to have party all night and drink vodka like commie until they go off into faint with half-naked. This little walkthrough is for the people who unfortunately matched exactly with the last line I said. Read very carefully, unless you lose your boy/girl/gay porn/ex-friends.

  • flour - Not flower. Flowers are dangerous because sometimes they eat insects, as well as human. Anyway, flour is a very special when you want to surprise your friend. Nice example is by hiding in closet, and when your girlfriend come to room naked and open the closet, you can bukkake(dash) some flour to her. You can see her naked body, and also she will realize that its an anniversary day (you must escape very quickly like comet after the surprise because woman is dangerous when something unexplainable happen on herself.)
  • toy - Toy, usually indicates sex toy, is a good gift for your friend or person who did a good work. Every people from baby to elderly enjoy playing toy, and glad for toy as a prize, just because. Toys are generally cheap and it doesnt waste much energy to purchase. And also, dont forget that people can divert its solitude by feeling ecstacy of playing toy. Heres are some detailed list of toys that make people happy.
    • barbie - Barbie is a perfect gift to present for your friend especially for boys. This human-size plaything, which full-dress development started in U.S. around 1925, have many additions to make people feel ecstacy more than that of having sex with it's girlfriend. Original barbie is developed to cheer soldiers engaging hard in frontlines, because generally female soldiers are awkward trained very hard and not horny enough to have a good time. As study circle expected, barbie gained massive admiration from many soldiers, and eventually the ban has lifted on civilian-market after WWII. Incidentally theres a belly-dancer edition available in Middle East.
    • cars - Have you ever seen the movie Cars? Yes? Ok then you know Sally Carrera right? A girl-wannabe automobile which looks very similar to Porsche 911 Carrera. You know, some extreme car nerd often have masturbation inside the car and feel ecstacy of fouling it. Toy car, is a clever thing to make them satisfy. Theres an "anal" look thing called muffler. Usual car-nerd insert his dick into them and suck into a private world. Sally Carrera, is indeed the best choice of toy car to make a prize.
  • Nobel Prize - This is the most prestigious prize ever that can shed luster on nominee. Nobel prize, made by Swedish chemist (on theory; he is rumored as a professional assassin worked for M16, the British Secret Intelligence Service) Alfreddo Nobel, is sadly cannot be received by normal people because this award is given to a soldier (or commander) who got 100 multi-kill streak in the battlefield. Nobel also made a mass-destrucive weapon dynamite as a tool for shortcut to win the award. Past winners of this award are very few; James Forsyth, Mori Ōgai, Winston Churchill, Vladimir Lenin, Adolf Hitler, Crews of Enola Gay bomber, Simo Häyhä, Mao Zedong, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Osama Bin Laden, George W. Bush, Omar Bashir and Hu Jintao. Kim Jong-Ill is said to be the next nominator of this award.
  • Purple Heart - Purple Heart is a medal given to soldiers killed in war. Its hardly categorized as "thing make people happy", but its a splendid honor and I felt I gotta add this to list. It is a common fact that dead person' skin would be colored purple, because circulation of blood and digestion stop so energy become unavailable. Name "purple heart", refers to dead person's heart. It is also told that purple heart honor comes with a medal which soldier's name has hallmarked, and a 1/32 size model of heart painted purple.
  • Grammy award
  • Oscar

Example of prize that make people sick, mad, or even die[edit]

If something have bright side, it must have dark side too. As I told from beginning, prize is commonly a bullshit that mostly wont work as you expect. Usually people have regarded that 99% of prize would be listed here, but I can only give you very tiny amount of them. Good luck with that.

  • candy - People think candy as a common gift to give a child who worked hard. In fact, it has some seriously ferocious effect to change your children to pilgrims, of evil. Literally, word "CANDY" is something really devious. Just separate the word in to two pieces, "can" and "dy". In English word, "can" usually means ability or possibility, and "dy", that also can be taken as "die", usually means becoming dead. Now I believe you've satisfied - if you give candy to your cute child, something worse than (or as same as) you catch your wife cheating happens. So why does everyone do that? Ok, think about that paradoxically - are every children who have ever eaten candy, already changed to little evils? I will answer you the truth. Yes. True. Its a fact. I can give you example. Candy is thought to be created in some around 18 centuries. It quickly spreaded around the world, including America, Soviet and Asia. Now, can you guess what children who grew up with eating candies did? They became sinisters, who invented Nuclear, Communism, and North Korea.
  • Viagra
  • Ig Nobel Prize
  • Girl
  • FFS
Wow, such an incredible prize after clicking "You Won $100,000!!1" banner.

See also[edit]