Portal:Portals/News

Really, you should check out the Categories page to find our content index.

• "Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
• Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
• Austria wins Eurovision (Pictured)
• MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
• New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
• BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
• Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
• Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
• PBS and NPR to lose funding
• Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
• Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
• Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
• Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
• Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
• World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
  • Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church

Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and Deltarune • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run • Night Court • Lopez vs Lopez • Jayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes • George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen