Portal:Portals/News

Really, you should check out the Categories page to find our content index.

Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

• Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi
• World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
• Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
  • Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah
• Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
• Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
• The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
• US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
• GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
• Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
• Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four

Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus

Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP