User talk:LongLiverh3/archive1

User talk:I GOTSEZ A MONEYS!

yeah!

Now let's get started!

Hi there

My First Pubic Hair‎ this isn't what we're about here, there's a handy guide on vanity here. Thanks:-)

There's also a welcome template here which has useful links on editing here:

Welcome!

Hello, LongLiverh3, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

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• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:LongLiverh3/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider contributing to Uncyclopedia's current colonization of the week, a group writing project to improve a single popular article. Anyone is welcome to contribute, so come help out!

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! 

Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:49, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I see My First Pubic Hair‎ has improved, good sign. And looks like longliverh3 is a good writer too. He made me laugh :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:18, 8 May '09

You're Funny

And I see you seek adoption. Well, pinch your cheeks you're so cute. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:46, 9 May 2009

Thanks

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

To show my appreciation, I'd like to eat your snake.

—Guildensternenstein

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(template courtesy of CheddarBBQ) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:57, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

Cheers

Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for the major clean up on my page and for the nomination for VFH! It's very much appreciated. I don't yet know how to do those fancy templates that other people have presented you with and so for now this thanks is in just plain writing. ImNotASunbeam 20:28, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Working on that article

Hey, I'd love to work with you on that Article, what sort of thing did you want to do with it?--ImNotASunbeam 20:31, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh fuck sake, I keep forgetting to sign these things ImNotASunbeam 20:31, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Adoption!

Dunno if you got the message I left on my own talk page (admittedly I didn't reply very quickly) but it went as thus:

"Adoption sounds like a fine idea. Though I've yet to actually do it propely. Bassically stick

{{Adoptee|Orian57}}

on your userpage and then come and ask me for help with things you've written or need help with. I'll also do my best to look out for you and such."

Also seen as how I'm helping you out could you give me your (honest) opinion on this, vote here. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:04 25 May 2009

The Colts

I love the Donald Brown pick. Donald Brown is sick. I know this because I watched him tear my school apart in the International Bowl. A lot of people were saying how we should've taken a DT, but think about it this way: Indy's had 10 winning seasons with nobodies at DT. Our rungame sucked this season. Donald Brown can go between the tackles. Donald Brown pounding the ball up the middle + Addai in third down situations = a much better run game, which we'll need now that Marvin's gone. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:03, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

is this some sort of secret code? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:16 May 27 '09

It's Football talk. You non-Americans wouldn't understand. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:52, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah. Give it to 'im, Guildy. --LongLiverh3 03:10, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

But yeah, that's just my two cents, though. What I'd really like to see is someone other than some undersized late-round pick playing for us at guard, but that's another story. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:35, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for voting for my article, Dear Diary. And do rest assured that I am not a violent or vindictive person, and that voting no would have in no way resulted in me abusing my administrative powers to crush you like a grape. ~ Todd Lyons

And especially for the nomination.  :) --T. (talk) 11:07, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal by UU Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead. What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! by Docile hippopotamus Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia. We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages! A true Uncyc legend returns! Promise to make a vote, the whole vote and nothing but the vote Big audio dynamite From our logs: 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.) 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog") 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.) 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.) Biopic of the Week Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us! Blatant Filler of the Week This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right. Cajek ban of the Week 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:16, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Reviews

In particular this one - are you gonna finish it? If not, remove what you've done so it stops sitting in the "reviewed" list, and someone else can do a proper job of it. Friendly note this time - please don't do this again. --UU - natter 10:11, May 30

uh huh Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:22 May 30 '09

Gee, I'm sorry, I didn't know. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

11

I read you were 11, is that true? Also I've been a terrible adopter. is tehre anything you need help with? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:44 30 May 2009

deleted

I've deleted UNnEWS: cOMPUTERS EVERYWHERE STUCK IN CAPS LOCK because it's not properly an article. For hints as to how to avoid this happening to your future work, I suggest you read my welcoming drivel below. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:53, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

WELCOME TO UNNEWS

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, LongLiverh3, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:53, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Your Why? article

I've put it in your userspace here, as the construction tag expired, meaning it would have got deleted. You can work on it in your userspace at your leisure without fear of deletion, and move it back to mainspace when it's completed. --UU - natter 09:59, Jun 1

If you liked...

Nursery then you'll love HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle. It also got featured last month, along with this and this which were all my articles. just incase you wanted to vote on those too. Although I strongly suggest you read the rest of the month because overall May was quite good. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:00 1 June 2009

Moved your article

I've moved your article to User:LongLiverh3/Red Sox 2004 World series win a total hoax. Work in progress should really be in your user space until you finish it. This is virtually a blank WIP, but I moved it just in case you decide you want to actually write the article. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:17, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Propagandameister

Propagandmeister is fake German for "Propagand master," which basically means she makes pictures. To answer your question in one word: yes. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:19, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Yip that's me =) You called? --^Dame 09:26, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

So

Thanks for the review. However, I do have a couple questions. You say you don't like the idea of the money going towards drugs, but from what I can tell I would only have to change his quote around near the beginning, right? Other than that, he explains excusively about how losing the money is like like losing sex. So, I don't think I have to change anything around for that.

Also, you said that the part about it being a complete accident wasn't funny, but that was kind of the whole point of the article. Or were you just trying to say that the part where he explained how he found the cure wasn't funny?

On a last note, what would you recommend for images? Staircase CUN^t 07:14, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Thankies

Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo want to say sank you, ya otta!

You gived your voice to make za interfiew on za front page. So I want to say sank you... Want to see my brobelor? I also take you to za byramids and show you good time, and for you only 10 American dollars. No, wait! Come back! I want money! What do I tell to little Ahmad when he says ya baba, get food?...

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:00 June 3 '09

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 03:06, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Zen Rfanklib

Did you forget you were gonna pee review this? Zen Rfanklib 21:00, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

Boo. Zen Rfanklib 02:22, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Preemptive Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

(Though it hasn’t actually been featured yet.)

—Guildy

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UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!

"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User By Gerrycheevers In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week By: Gerrycheevers This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it.

Check out these pages! Invisible Forum! Happy Birthday Sonic80! Happy Birthday Woody! Happy Birthday Modusoperandi! FREAKING LIAR! From our logs: 15:19, 7 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.192.116.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(How To: Fuck off for 3 months) 17:49, 7 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.1.87.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(one two fuck you!) 10:00, 8 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.190.33.94 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(comedy website. all football clubs get equal treatment here - ie a merciless slagging. mind you, chelsea really do suck.) Biopic of the Week Of all of the writers enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Hall of Shame, Electrified mocha chinchilla has the highest number of featured articles without having ever been profiled in the UnSignpost. Whoops, not anymore. Anyway, his list of works reads like a what's-what of awesomeness. The entity known as e|m|c also organized and ran several Poo Lit Surprise competitions. Worshipful notes and pie can be sent to his talk page. Retraction of the Week In last week's exceedingly humorous edition of the UnSignpost, we referred to Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435 was requiring all returning users to announce themselves in the forums. This is actually Bylaw #453. We apologize for the mistake, and also from the confusion resulting from the real Bylaw #435, which states that every 94 days a user's dog must be sacrificed to the Rancor. Sorry Led, and get well Fluffy! This Week in Uncyc, 1215 The Magna Carta was signed by King John of England, granting certain rights to serfs, peasants, slaves, farmers, and servants. This was immediately parodied in Ye Olde Signeposte, Uncyclopedia's bi-weekly periodical of the time. It was depicted as a document that forced King John to admit he had the power to tax servants, control every aspect of farmer's lives, and shoot serfs in his Royal Preserves for sport.

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I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:48, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Ok so.

I just noticed your edit to the worlds bets friend vote page, and it seemed curious that you did {{User:LongLiverh3}} instead of {{User:LongLiverh3/sig}}, you aren't typing that in manually everytime you sign are you? Because you should just go to the "my preferences" link at the top and in the signature box put {{subst:nosubst|User:LongLiverh3/sig}} and then click the custom signature box. then just sign with four tidles ~~~~ as normal. just thought I'd say that. alternitivley, if you already do the above, what happened? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:49 12 June 2009

Done. --It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you. 08:13, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Good good, sorry I never explained that before. I should have noticed the lack of datestamp. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:47 13 June 2009

Yeah, you should have. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you. 01:47, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Well you could have asked yourself "Hmm, isn't it a bit inconveinient having to do this manually? When I didn't have a sig it was easier, surely there's a Shortcut. I'll ask Orian!" No? but yeah, your right, I'm an awful person.    Orian57    Talk   06:14 14 June 2009

Shame on you. (/Jacking off) Cunt (Talk to Cunt) 06:32, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Don't wank while you talk to people! God's sake. Have some civility!    Orian57    Talk   06:34 14 June 2009

Wait, what's civility, and WHERE ARE THE DAMN PAPER TOWELS? Cunt (Talk to Cunt) 06:36, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh god and you don't sort out the towels before you start!?    Orian57    Talk   06:39 14 June 2009

Never. Although I did realize it was a little inconvenient... Cunt (Talk to Cunt) 17:16, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

New sig. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 17:44, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

That's much more sesible. And looks slightly familiar. ;)    Orian57    Talk   17:46 14 June 2009

Guilty. It was copy-pasted and based off your old sig. Also, I think you need another new sig, or at least put GUN in the one you just made, because you're doing a fantastic job in WotM. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 17:53, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Not really a fan of the titles to be honest, They tend to look like clutter and I was going for minimalism with this one anyway (even more so than No7).    Orian57    Talk   18:34 14 June 2009

Sign your posts on my talk page, idiot!

I did! I must have done!    Orian57    Talk   18:34 14 June 2009

I'm almost an Octo-dick!

Heya! Thanks for the pretend dick vote for WotM. Orian may still be far in the lead, but I get the sense he's looking over his shoulder now to take in the view. ^_^ --T. (talk) 18:23, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, pretend dick votes are my specialty... I had to vote for Orian, otherwise I would get disowned. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 19:29, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Did I not teach you, honesty and indipendant thought? Opps. too late now!    Orian57    Talk   00:32 16 June 2009

Thanks thank tank (again-again!)

"Joshy, what have I told you about manners?" Sorry Mummy... I have to thank you all again because you voted my story THE BEST article of May and that means that someone who wanted to hire a space comedian will know that I'm funny and give me money so that I can buy toys!

   Orian57    Talk   00:32 16 June 2009

The review

I wish you hadn't "reviewed" my article. I'll only say this once, I wish you'll refrain from peeing on articles I've written in the future. I can't say I appreciate a teenager's sense of random humour, when I try to write with readers who appreciate the more mature sense of intelligent humour in mind. As comes to my English, it's far superior to your English, so don't you dare trying to criticise my grammar unless you have a Ph.D. in English Philology to show off. There was nothing new to me in that review. I will not change my article to fit your idea of funny. Do it yourself. Twat. -- Little Pink Sock 21:05, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

I think you are been unduly harsh, the article is probably better than the review gives it credit for, but calling someone a twat because you disagree with their opinion isn't the answer. Reviewers take the time to look through other people's hard work and offer advice on how to improve it, or point out areas the article may appear weak, and that's good. I'd like to see more of our reviewers producing better quality work themselves, so that the advice they offer represents techniques which have been put into practice. Please don't allow this to expand into a full scale argument or bans will be administered. Remember, we're all here to just have fun.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

OH MY GOD!!! Mhaille's on my talk page! And he's sticking up for me! Great! ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 23:57, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Well that kind of overshadows what I was going to say! However, I was on my way to make a slightly different point, so I have to say that while reviews are completely a matter of opinion, and I'm not going to disagree with someone's opinion, perhaps your reviewing style could use a little more sugar? One of the lesser-known skills of really good reviewing is to be more encouraging when reviewing articles you consider to need a lot of work. While you did finish by saying this could end up a solid article, you could perhaps have been a little friendlier in the way you put your points across earlier.

I learned this the hard way by doing the same on some of my early reviews and really pissing people off - look at some of my more recent reviews, and you'll see that I'm careful to always pick out points to encourage people about and try to encourage where possible - even in the few cases where I've thought the article was irredeemable. My sign off is always that this is only my opinion, and others are available, and then I wish them luck. You give plenty of feedback, and are generally settling in well, but it's worth thinking about this - reviews aren't meant to put people off contributing, but to help them improve. Hope this makes sense - if you have any questions about reviews, you know where to find me! --UU - natter 08:22, Jun 17

Maybe we should put together an improved guide for reviewers suggesting some of these points. I think the thing to remember for me is that very often we pour our hearts into these articles, and when, for whatever reason, people question the quality or the style or whatever within an article we take it as a personal affront. Maybe we also need a disclaimer on the front page of the review section telling people that a review does not constitute a personal attack. Somehow we've got to make both parties realise there are human elements within this site, whilst at the same time seeking to help and improve where necessary. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I 100% agree with Mhaile on every word he said Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 08:49 June 17 '09

Me too. I'll get on it. --UU - natter 09:19, Jun 17

I second that. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 16:17, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

The Other Review

Thanks. Unlike the above person, I'm thankful for your input. I see you took the liberty of de-linking stuff to bullshit, which I appreciate, and I spaced out the "BULLSHITFUCKINGCALL" part. As for more Darlene references, I thought that too, while writing it, but no other places were really ideal for having another "darlene interlude," or whatever, if you know what I mean. I did ever-so-slightly expand on one, though, and added a callback to the previous article, per your advice. Thanks for the review. I nommed it for VFH, too, BTW. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:17, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I'll go vote fore it. Soon. Deal or No Deal is on. Bye. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 23:26, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Also might wanna say I did not want a whole new "Darlene interlude," just more references. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 01:28, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

You watch Deal or no Deal? You go out of your way to watch Deal or no Deal? Weird.    Orian57    Talk   08:34 19 June 2009

Did someone mention cookies?

Well. Oh. My. God!!! You have been assessed and deemed worthy of receiving one of the aforementioned popular sweet baked confections, commonly monikered as biscuits over here but probably called something gay on the other side of the pond. This award is bestowed upon you in recognition of the fact that that's the way the cookie crumbled today - feel proud and dunk with gumption!

Codeye has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Codeye knows only too well that these things can be devilishly moreish, so has awarded another for when the first one's either been demolished or dropped into your tea.

Codeye has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

May I add, I'd be happy as a pig in a fresh pile of shit to receive a little something in return, were any awards going spare? Enjoy the cookies. Codeye 08:31, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Re your comment on the HowTo baby 3rd request

Although both sides could have behaved better in this case, I see this remark as potentially starting over a fight which settled down already. Just keep away from the issue. ~ 15:37, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I shall try my best, Mordillo. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 16:18, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce

Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens By Gerrycheevers This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! By: Saberwolf116 Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! By: Gerrycheevers Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC By Sockpuppet of an unregistered user People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains.

Check out these pages! Release personal details here. Overractions! Slander! Hot Republican Chicks with Guns! Death To Our Enemies, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Illogicopedia. From our logs: 14:37, 11 June 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a nice stroll in the park ‎(The only edit I can make on this website right now is blocking myself. Woohoo!) 15:42, 12 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for The Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎(Follow the yellow brick road to oblivion! Put on your red shoes and dance! dance! Ackowledge that you're no longer in Kansas, Toto. And yes I am the wicked witch of the west. I have a wart to prove it) 12:11, 16 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.101.164.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(vandullism - and your cheese looks old and stale anyway. bring me something fresher. and a red onion chutney - let's do this properly) Biopic of the Week Sonje ~ Bursting onto the Uncyclpedia scene in March 2009, this spunky female user already has quite the impressive resume. Her six featured images speak of her monumental potatochopping abilities, and she won consecutive Potatochopper of the Month awards. Yeah, that's right. Consecutive. We look forward to many more expertly manipulated images and other general awesomery from Sonje in the months to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Continuing in the vaguely sandwich-related theme, Sausage Butty Batter Nuggets are a staple of English cuisine. With a complicated recipe that often leads to dangerous and/or hilarious consequences, this food is nevertheless a highly desirable meal for any self-respecting gentleman or lady in England, and is often served at croquet competitions and monocle-wearing contests. Pictured at right is the extra-crunchy West Country variety. This Week in Uncyc, 3500 BC The Great Pyramids of Giza, one of the greatest technological and engineering feats in human history, was parodied in the monthly Uncyclopedia newsletter Bird, Bird, Crocodile, Man With Dog Face, Bird, which was painstakingly written on papyrus reeds by dozens of slaves. In the periodical, the Pyramids were described as "just okay", and were depicted as a stepping stone to grander projects such as Great Cubes and perhaps even a Great Octagonal Prism. Reason to Leave Uncyclopedia of the Week #12: Space issues. With so many users returning, and Cajek refusing to grant access to the Cajek Mansion (which takes up over 60% of all Uncyclopedia's property), there just isn't enough room for us all.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:32, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Could you

Tell me what you think of this, please? Also how you getting on? Haven't really checked in a while which is terrible irresponsible parenting.    Orian57    Talk   09:07 22 June 2009

Moar Feature Thankies

Writers, of all kinds, would like to thank you! For voting for the article on Writing to become featured. They wrote this template just for you, please apreciate the effort - it is a work of art after all!

   Orian57    Talk   13:04 22 June 2009

Namespace formatting

Yeah, on the incredibly minor chance you didn't notice, I moved your UnScript here. Just so you know: you shouldn't leave a space after the namespace bit. Some kind of formatting thingy. Anyway, yeah, just thought I'd mention it, really. --UU - natter 13:45, Jun 22

Nintendo Seal

...has been moved to your userspace because it's taking up room in the expired WIP category. Be glad it didn't get destroyed!~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 03:30, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Likewise with this. --UU - natter 08:51, Jun 29

Godzilla

You said you would nominate it, and then you never did, so I'm slightly confused. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:10, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

I didn't mean to come off as rude or anything, which, in retrospect, I might've, so sorry about that. Anyway, yes, you do have my stamp of approval. Thank you for asking beforehand, too. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 12:49, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

It must have been nominated at some point (long before I got here--that's for sure) so just put "2nd nomination" at the end of it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:45, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Done. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 23:46, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

June 25th, 2009 • Issue 53 • The newspaper that steals other newspapers' lunch money

Users Campaign to Delete Vast Portions of Uncyclopedia By Gerrycheevers Several users have recently begun campaigns to rid Uncyclopedia of some of its oldest, cruftiest, stalest content, or so they would have you believe. We at the UnSignpost aren't here to report anything other than the facts, including but not limited to: opinions, speculation, and pictures of cats with funny captions. First on the chopping block was the Timeline series. This group of articles apparently chronicles the made-up version of history as recorded by people who aren't very funny. Dr. Skullthumper has taken the lead in the crusade against this unholy document, and reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users supported the good doctor, while others appreciated his sentiment but enjoyed the crisp, fresh smell of proper procedure much better. Noted deletionist Gwax made an appearance in order to streamline the effort to remove all of the unfunniness from the timeline, and he has been joined by several other users seeking to improve rather than delete the entire project. Next in line for the guillotine was Uncyclopedia's longest-running and only soap opera, The Young and the Uncyclopedians. At the head of this movement is prominent murderous amphibian Thekillerfroggy, who made such bold claims as "Vanity, sir!" and "Words words words!" As this project is not merely a page but an entire slew of pages, it was rejected by the Uncyclopedia Deletion Tribunal, but further actions may be in the works. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" Usefulness of IP Contributions Called Into Question...Again By Gerrycheevers The question of whether or not we should allow IPs to edit our precious humor wiki has been raised yet again, this time by plucky Der Unwehr founder Guildensternenstein. UnSignpost reporters were baffled by the concept of what an IP was, until it was explained that it is some sort of automatic vandalism robot designed to troll websites, post vanity, and ensure all articles make the proper amount of references to Chuck Norris. The debate raged fiercely, with many users falling on either side of the so-called "IP line". One camp decided that the contributions from these entities did more harm than good to the community and its collection of humor. The opposing faction took up the opposite view: that IP editors were harmless and at worst an annoyance. Modusoperandi, the lead counsel for the IP defense team, made several compelling arguments, most notably the case that IPs are adorable and thus harmless. In the end, it was decided that IP editing is something we must live with, mostly because Conservapedia doesn't allow it, and we don't want to be any more like them than we already are. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!"

Check out these pages! Ledddy calls for more reminiscence The counting goes horribly, horribly wrong THIS JUST IN THIS JUST OUT From our logs: 01:41, 24 June 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 66.109.20.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Dex is all like BAN HIM and I'm like OKAY DEX) 00:18, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Do you see my penis? Here, I'll pull it out! LOOK AT IT DANGLE, FAGGOT!) 00:17, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) resurrected Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) ‎ (wrng "a"gn) 00:16, 21 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (NO MORE MR. NICEGUY) Biopic of the Week "How has the UnSignpost never run a biopic on So So?", you might ask. "I mean, his userpage is somewhere between confusing and disturbing, but the guy's a comedic genius! His writings are classic!", you might continue. You might even mention that he was nommed for WotM for about half a year in 2007 before finally winning the thing. Well, you might be interested in reading this week's UnSignpost, and then you might look into shutting up. Old School FA of the Week The Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice is the longest possible order you could order at Starbucks. It was ordered only once (in the late 1990's), and it singlehandedly destroyed the economy of South America. It is now illegal in both American Continents, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Antarctica. In fact, it's now illegal everywhere save for a select few unclaimed square inches in the Southern Pacific Ocean and Belgium (but nobody gives a crap about Belgium.) The United Nations is working on this problem even as you read this.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

We're not late you're just high!    Orian57    Talk   15:43 30 June 2009

Yeah, me and my buddies did a lot of smoking last Friday. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 03:30, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Thursday, dearie. The UNSP arrives on Thursday.    Orian57    Talk   12:07 1 July 2009

I know. I was so distraught about not getting the paper the previous day I had to get stoned to forget. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 22:53, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Ta!

I, Orian57, extend my grattitude for (of?) your vote on WotM! No but seriously, guys. Thanks, it means something to me, more than it should probably.

So yeah, hows it like being adopted by a WotM, pretty fucking sweet I'd imagine. Me poses so you can carve a statue out of marble.    Orian57    Talk   12:07 1 July 2009

And me makes edit to your new sig so you can show off your GUNhood. Revert edits if you don't like. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 23:01, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Haneke

Hi, thanks for the review, I'm still - as you probably know - getting to grips with this site. Yeah, I only actually put it on here because I was advised to do so in order to get a little bit of input/criticism on my work thus far, it's pretty clear it's not finished yet. I'm glad you like it so far, your review is very useful, I'll give this Guildy a bell, see what ideas he can put in. I assume he knows Haneke, so he'll be able to see what I'm trying to do with it. It's a tightrope walk really, I want to try and combine two very different views of Haneke into one - the first with him as a film-maker, like a satirical biography, the second as a slightly more absurdist depiction of Haneke as an emotionless automaton (hence like his movies). The balance is difficult :( Siddhartha-Wolf

[I posted this on your review too]

UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

All your readers are belong to us

July 2nd, 2009 • Issue 54 • The newspaper with the name that's an anagram of "stop using n"

The Young and The Uncyclopedians Cancelled By Gerrycheevers After enjoying a long-running career and several writer changes, Uncyclopedia's fabled soap opera The Young and the Uncyclopedians was cancelled this week. And by "cancelled" we mean totally owned by Thekillerfroggy. It seems TKF finally had enough, and spent nearly an hour systematically deleting the entire series, which previously contained over 60% of all content in the UnScripts namespace. The newly freed electrons, no longer required for TYATU, can now be used for other Uncyclopedia-related tasks, such as boron smelting, and they may even be used to form a sort of crude bot that can edit The count to a million project automatically. Not content with merely obliterating the entire series, Thekillerfroggy apparently became bored halfway through his holy crusade, and decided to get creative in the deletion summaries. As can be seen in a memorial erected by what is presumed to be a jilted fan of the show, TKF nostalgized and ranted, remembered and forgot, loved and lost, all while expressing his inner thoughts through the medium of deletion summaries. An example can be seen at the very end of his effort, where Thekillerfroggy writes: "Sigh./Well here's the home stretch/It's been real/We've had some good times/some bad times/But in the end/All we are is dust in the wind/So goodnight, sweet prince/Farewell TYATU/Fin." Reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users held a candlelight vigil in userspace, where some of the episodes have been resurrected in a zombie-like form. Entertainment editor DogNewspaper (pictured) wagged his tail, perhaps expressing hope that one day a new soap opera, sitcom, or crime investigation show featuring Uncyclopedia editors would once again grace this site. We can only dream... Main Page Suffers Spasms of Dickery By Gerrycheevers If you logged onto the Main Page sometime on July 2nd between 2:00 and 3:00 GMT (and if you can't figure out what time that is where you live, then don't expect us to provide it for you, we're not a bloody watch!), you may have noticed some subtle changes. Instead of the usual Wikipedia-like format, with carefully organized features, news stories, anniversaries, and vital information, you may or may not have found...something else. You may or may not have found an intruiging offer to reffer freinds to take some sort of mp3-player related actions. You may or may not have found some sort of story with a vague theme of respecting one's elders, and everything about those elders, and we do mean everything. You may or may not have found some sort of strange mix of the two that left you with conflicting feelings. These feelings may or may not have included, but not been limited to: fear, anger, jealousy, confusion, fear again, and a vague sensation of falling. The admins responsible for this will not be named here, due to their next probable course of action in the case in which we did mention them, which would most likely be something along the lines of turning every UnSignpost issue into a Euroipod, whatever that is. The only thing we can report on is that the shenanigans ended just over an hour after they began, with the Main Page being restored to its previous false information-rich state. However, this episode shows us that it will never be safe from the hijinks of that group of admins, who, again, will not be named.

Check out these pages! HowTo: Get Banned for a Day Serious, on-topic discussion More voting for things! From our logs: 12:34, 26 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Gotlegginh (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(please enjoy our complimentary fuck the hell off) 21:18, 26 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 seconds ‎(Non-kosher edits to Woody's meatpage) 08:35, 29 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.78.127.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(I is an 8 year old from the UK with super admin powerz, fuck you) 11:49, 1 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 222.153.106.69 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(I think you'll find it is you who fail. and not even epically either - just with a bit of a whimper.) Biopic of the Week Lovable Wikia dictator Sannse has settled in rather well in the Uncyclopedia Community. She is a double Hall of Shame member, and she recently took home the coveted Uncyclopedian of the Month award for her work in making things behind the scenes to run smoothly, which we take it means that she is very good at regulating the caffeine intake of the hamsters that run on the wheels that power Uncyclopedia. Her typical reaction to watermelon jokes is summed up on the right. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble is an informative guide to consistently winning via questionable means that most enjoyable of letter-arranging games, Scrabble. Fake dictionaries, fake online dictionaries, fake tiles, and octopi are just a few of the diverse methods one can utilize in order to gain a distinctly unfair advantage while playing the game. This Week in Uncyc, 1776 While the American colonies and the British Empire were not quite getting along, the corresponding members of Uncyclopedia were also having a bit of a flamewar. Prominent British users subtly edited the article on America to include a fictional fourteenth colony called West Wankerton, and American admins reacted by banning the drinking of any tea-related beverages in the Uncyclopedia break room. In the end, both sides agreed to a truce due to the massively impressive fireworks show, which was a Fourth of July tradition. The truce basically entailed both entities cooperation in the vandalism of the article on France.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 19:20, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildy

---

Formatting

Hey llh3. Just a quick question on your against on the Vitiligo article. I appreciate the feedback that I'm getting on that at the moment, and I'm hoping to get as much constructive stuff as possible at the moment. I'm trying to work out what the "formatting" issue was that you had with the work. Have you got an example of what you would consider "good formatting" that I could compare to? Pup 00:39, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

Keebler Elves

Thanks for the last thing. I've been avoiding doing a review of your piece up for a PEE at the moment, based upon your comment RE NotM, but I'm not sure how you feel. Would you prefer that I don't review your work? Pup 04:42, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

No, you can go right ahead. Also, cool new sig. :-) ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 15:05, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Damn, beaten to it. Agree with the review in relationship with what works and what doesn't. Let me know when it's polished as I think it has VFH potential but I'd rather see a touch more polishing before nomming it. --Pup 23:52, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

colonization

hi, LL. i saw you signed up for colonization. welcome! you can dive right in by contributing at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project. please discuss any changes to the article on the talk page before you go ahead and implement them, unless they're something minor. we're just about done with our current colonization of You, and we should have a new project shortly. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:04, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 9th July 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

July 9th, 2009 • Issue 55• Help! I'm trapped in a newspaper printer!

Survivor returns to Uncyclopedia after almost two years By THEDUDEMAN, with additional reporting by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays In late 2007, a man by the name of Leoispotter had the idea to bring his favorite reality show to Uncyclopedia. Thus, the first season of UnSurvivor was created. After five thrilling rounds of voting, Mr. Briggs Inc. managed to win against the other finalist, Thekillerfroggy, by a mere two votes. Flash forward almost two years. Kingkitty, a competitor in the first UnSurvivor, decides it's time for another go-around, and season 2 is born. In an exclusive interview with Mr. Kitty, he had this to say: "Well, I was bored ("and crazy", says one passing by civilian) and I thought: 'perhaps the community could do something fun, and stop with all this writing bullshit.'" When later asked what he thought about this current season, he said, "It's showing to be bigger and better than last season, with more betrayals, more violence, more whining, and more betrayals. Lots of betrayals. Mostly of me." Currently, UnSurvivor Season 2 is in its final round of voting, where the voted-off members of the game get to vote on the finalist they want to win. The finalists this season are: after last seasons defeat, Thekillerfroggy, and newcomers to the show, THEDUDEMAN and An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. Voting is set to take place over 72 hours instead of the usual 24, and the winner will be announced sometime Friday July 10th. After this, according to Mr. Kitty, there "probably" will be a season 3, and it will be bigger and better than anything ever before. Uncyclopedians pay crass tasteless tribute to Michael Jackson By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Michael Jackson, the legendary King of Pop, touched many lives, and the news of his untimely demise has left a deep void in the lives of his millions of fans and victims. Fans all over Uncyclopedia, stricken by grief, flocked by the dozens to mourn their departed hero in the only way they knew how: through the medium of humour. They ranged from perfunctory to crude to mediocre, but each expressed a deeply profound sadness that the weird plastic rapist was no more. (Yeah, "weird plastic rapist". That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Tributes continue to pour in despite the fact that it is no longer funny or clever. With the stage set for a long, protracted battle over his kids and estate, Uncyclopedia expects that unfunny people will continue to get mileage out of this story for many weeks to come. Uncyclopedia admins plan to send a selection of the best "tributes" to the Jackson family, along with the number of a company that recycles plastics. (That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Editors emerge from woodwork, contribute to UnSignpost By Gerrycheevers This week, when UnSignpost Active Editor Gerrycheevers brought up the Uncyclopedia page containing the currently in-progress UnSignpost, he suffered a minor heart attack upon finding that two stories had already been added to the paper. It seems both An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and THEDUDEMAN, both newly given the title "Consulting Editor", took exception to being named "Consulting Editor" and took it upon themselves to blanket the UnSignpost with awesomeness. Unsignpost Payroll Manager DogNewspaper (pictured) bared his teeth at this development, indicating his frustration at having to re-issue new timecards to both editors. Gerrycheevers is expected to make a full recovery; flowers can be sent to the Uncyclopedia Infirmary and Shooting Range.

Check out these pages! The second round of the Uncyclopedia Music Awards! 4.252.99.182 HAS BEEN FOUND! Uncyclopedians trying to workout From our logs: 23:02, 7 July 2009 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Spang (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 days ‎(testing, I haven't done this in a while) 09:26, 7 July 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.178.213.53 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) ‎(In fact, here is our complimentary "welcome to uncyclopedia & fuck off" package. Have a nice day.) 00:36, 6 July 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked The Woodburninator (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 191 seconds ‎(You ain't no ban magnet. But I can help you become one. By banning you, that is.) Biopic of the Week Now missing for over 18 months, it's time to send the search party out for ENeGMA. If the userbox on his user page is accurate, then his 250,000+ edits mean that he has created virtually all of the content on Uncyclopedia. While that isn't quite true, he has produced some classically awesome articles, and we wish he'd come back and play. Quote of the Week <TheLedBalloon> well, my parents were like, son, we're going to make meatloaf tonight <TheLedBalloon> and I was like <TheLedBalloon> shit yeah <TheLedBalloon> you know <TheLedBalloon> I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOAF <Shaggy-Rogers> EVEN BLOW YOUR LOAD ON YOUR MOM'S FACE =-= Mode #uncyclopedia +o TheLedBalloon by ChanServ =-= Shaggy-Rogers was booted from #uncyclopedia by TheLedBalloon (2 dads) =-= Mode #uncyclopedia -o TheLedBalloon by TheLedBalloon Old-School Featured Article of the Week A Handgun is a non-lethal weapon that has been in use for over 150 years. As adaptable as it is safe, the Handgun can fire many different kinds of bullets, which each require different distinct noises such as "pchoo!". Advantages include an infinite amount of ammunition and the lack of a necessity to reload. Attempts at Handgun regulation have proven pointless at best. This Week in Uncyc, 658 AD With the Dark Ages in full swing, Uncyclopedia tried to lighten the mood with a contest that urged users to photoshop a humorous image involving a priest, a monk, and a nun. Since the most advanced photoshop technology at the time still consisted of using paint to draw on canvas, not a single entry was completed by the two-week deadline. However, prominent Uncyclopedian John Smith continued his work far past the deadline, and after eight months submitted an image of a waterskiing nun, which became Uncyclopedia's first featured image.

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9001(bot)  22:28, Jul 9