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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
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Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
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Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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John Marshall was a professional floor-is-lava player who lasted 34 years until he touched the floor and died. He played on the Supreme Court team and had the role of the fourth Chief Justice, which he served for three point four decades before dying. He arrogantly held the role and thought no one else was good enough to wear a robe and scream "constitutional law" at people. Marshall even copyrighted black bathrobes, so anyone who wanted the role would instantly have to pay Marshall $97.99 (plus shipping and tax). He was famous for vastly improving the Supreme Court team by inventing the established judicial review move. This allowed the Supreme Court team to respond  to any attacks by the Congress team, making them a worthy team. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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*... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
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In the news
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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.
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On this day...
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February 10: International Bad Pun Day
- 1104 - Potato famine engulfs Ireland, panhandling leprechauns flood the cities because they're a little short.
- 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor.
- 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since, you know what I'm drawing a blank.
- 1712 - Rebels in Chile have a riot against the Spanish. It ends up being en fuego.
- 1865 - A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- 1980 - Various case studies indicate you can put things in them and carry them by their handles.
- 1985 - Das Boot, a German film about gender neutral enclosed footwear, is released.
- 2009 - Juan Pablo Montoya is shot dead, police believe the killer was a golfer, because he made a hole in Juan.
- 2018 - French President Emmanuel Macron explains at a press conference that he doesn't like too many eggs for breakfast as one egg is un oeuf.
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
