Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Republican Party Pornography (also known as Red Meat) is the objectification of objects near and dear to the hearts of millions of red blooded Americans. As with other forms of pornography, it is the idea of putting on display those things and objects which would otherwise be forbidden and then objectifying them turns them into something exciting.
Republican Party Pornography may be as simple as taking the word and twisting the meaning into something that would flunk someone taking a high school vocabulary test, or it can be as complex as trotting Alaska’s Republican Governor Sarah Palin out onto a stage in Minnesota to say a few choice words, and out comes the penii of every horny Republican man everywhere to masturbate while watching the Republican National Convention.
| “ | The crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight. So when you make them up, give me a inch that I can let out there, because they cut me. They're just like riding a wire fence | ” |
— Lyndon B. Johnson, on his pants
| ||
Donald Ronald "The Donald" Trump, Sr. (born June 14, 1946) is an unevenly tanned American, real estate developer, reality television personality, a closeted secret agent from either Russia, China or North Korea, cereal rapist and intermittent Republican candidate who served as the 45th Televised President of the United States from 2017 to 2021. Following his landslide electoral victory against Kamala "Cometh in the Morning" Harris, he is now the current 47th President, wherein he will serve his scheduled term from 2025 until Elon Musk finishes taking over all three branches of government.
Born in New York City, Trump migrated to Florida in 2019 as part of the natural lifecycle of New Yorkers. Before he became Commander-in-chief, Trump dipped his big toe into politics by yelling at Obama on Fox and Friends. He ran for President on a platform condemning the political establishment and their Muslim–Chinese–Mexican vanguards. Trump won the 2016 election on the tried and true campaign strategy of not being Hillary Clinton. However, he faltered in the 2020 election against Joe Biden due to his campaign strategy of being Donald Trump. Prior to leaving office, he ordered hordes of deplorable rednecks on mobility scooters to storm the U.S. Capitol and vandalize all of Nancy Pelosi's favorite vending machines. He won again in 2024 on the even more tried and true campaign strategy of not being a woman.
- ... that Newspeak is double plus good, whereas Oldspeak is double plus ungood and a thoughtcrime?
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that the death of Muammar Gaddafi has severed the thread of prophecy, and now we must persist in the doomed world we have created?
- ... that Newspeak is double plus good, whereas Oldspeak is double plus ungood and a thoughtcrime?
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