Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Republican Party Pornography (also known as Red Meat) is the objectification of objects near and dear to the hearts of millions of red blooded Americans. As with other forms of pornography, it is the idea of putting on display those things and objects which would otherwise be forbidden and then objectifying them turns them into something exciting.
Republican Party Pornography may be as simple as taking the word and twisting the meaning into something that would flunk someone taking a high school vocabulary test, or it can be as complex as trotting Alaska’s Republican Governor Sarah Palin out onto a stage in Minnesota to say a few choice words, and out comes the penii of every horny Republican man everywhere to masturbate while watching the Republican National Convention.
| “ | Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man | ” |
— Ronald Reagan, on some guy named Inflation
| ||
George Wanker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is an American politician, businessman, and comedian who was the 43rd President of the United States from 2001 to 2009 and the 46th Governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000. Born in New Haven, Connecticut, Bush is a graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School. After completing his edumucation, he worked in the energy business, and married Laura Welch in 1977.
Bush served for six glorious years as the 46th Governor of the State of Texas, where he earned a reputation as a compassionate conservative who shaped public policy based on the principles of bipartisanship, limited government, personal responsibility, strong families, and local control. There is now no Governor of Texas, as the Senate unanimously voted to leave the position permanently open, believing that nobody could do a better job than George.
Bush was elected president in 2000, where he fairly and balancedly defeated Al Gore. He was re-elected by a landslide in 2004, beating out John Kerry. Eight months into Bush's first term, 9/11 occurred; in response, he initiated the War on Terror, an entirely peaceful means of bringing about change that was widely regarded as necessary. As part of the War on Terror, the Iraq War came into fruition; it involved liberating more than 30,000 Iraqi citizens from Saddam Hussein's tyranny.
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that the people of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship, on the condition that they never tell anyone about it?
- ... that the Democrats chose the donkey to be their political symbol because they are loud, obnoxious, lazy and prone to shit on the floor?
- ... that Talk radio (a predecessor to the podcast) would feature political commentary interspersed with hours of incoherent screaming?
- ... that famous contemporary portrait painter George W. Bush was once a politician, and even served as U.S. President for a number of years?
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