Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Women's Suffrage International (WSI) is a worldwide non-profit organization run entirely by women that strives to let all non-women know how much women have suffered. The organization has achieved great success in Western countries (where men are now painfully aware of how much women have suffered), though it has made little headway in the Middle East, South America, Africa, most of Asia, and Australia (where the suffering of women has been glibly ignored).
For truly as women have suffered since time immemorial, men have ignored their suffering. For example, long-suffering Mary Holcombe of Napoleon, Ohio, has suffered for at least 17 years in her strained, loveless marriage to her "good-for-nothing, beer-swilling" husband Russell. Women's Suffrage aims to help women like Mary spread her suffering to others, so that they, too, may know how badly she suffers.
| “ | The crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight. So when you make them up, give me a inch that I can let out there, because they cut me. They're just like riding a wire fence | ” |
— Lyndon B. Johnson, on his pants
| ||
Colonel Bernard "Bernie" Sanders (born September 8, 1941) is an alleged U.S. Senator and dirty communist representing the 9,615-square mile patch of progressive insanity that is Vermont. After having served nearly a quarter of a century in federal office, a demented Sanders had developed delusions of grandeur, and announced a 2016 presidential candidacy, genuinely believing America was ready to elect a senile socialist to the White House.
Aided by an army of young white people with money and the Internet, Sanders had become a popular "meme" candidate, along with Donald Trump and, previously, Ron Paul. Sadly, another political underdog with her anti-establishment vagina won the primary and the nomination, and the millennials who upvoted him to success will hang their heads in shame, their nascent political optimism crushed by reality's cold grip. With Trump's ascendancy to the Presidency, all the political pragmatists who said, "Bernie is a pie-in-the-sky choice, choose compromise," will hang their heads from their ceiling fans. You fuckers.
When Sanders was a young man, Eugene V. Debs told him: "Socialism ain't that bad. Here, read some pamphlets." He's been a leftist ever since. Sanders was mayor of Burlington, Vermont, for several years, turning the cozy New England hamlet into a repressive socialist dictatorship. Dozens of Bernie Sanders statues were built in the city, and hundreds of bunkers were constructed, dotting the landscape like goosebumps on a moderate Democrat.
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that a Civil War is a form of warfare defined by its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to other methods like total warfare?
- ... that the Republicans chose the elephant to be their political symbol because they are fat, heavy and like to trample over Black people?
- ... that the people of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship, on the condition that they never tell anyone about it?
- ... that famous contemporary portrait painter George W. Bush was once a politician, and even served as U.S. President for a number of years?
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