Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Capitalism, more widely known as crapitalism, derives its roots from the Latin words capital ("head") and ism ("gooey, cheese-like substance"). It was created by a group of men calling themselves the "justification league". Capitalism has been misunderstood by the left and right of the political spectrum: Capitalism's ultimate purpose is to allow those born into luxury to justify to themselves that they deserve it, and to give those not born into luxury a life purpose to dismiss those creating wealth as "oppressors". It Can Also Mean The Study and Worship Of CAPITAL LETTERS.
Capitalism is a system of idiot economics that entails the rights of the elite to control the means of production and enslave the workers, with limited state control and judicially preserved property "rights". This system rewards those who create what the market is demanding, even if the market is demanding more videos of Tara Reid's deformed nipple slip or microwavable cheese products. You have to be a douchebag and a sellout willing to step on the meek to get anywhere.
| “ | There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen | ” |
— Vladimir Lenin, while inside a black hole
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Dennis Kucinich's wife may be the hottest wife or mistress who has ever walked the halls on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., according to The Hill newspaper's centerfold section and presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin. "Even I think she's hot," says Goodwin, "and I haven't been with a woman in years."
Hot. Her London neighbors thought she was sizzling, her relatives thought she was smokin', and all the stars in the sky thought "This girl is so aces that one day she will marry an American movie star and probably take up Scientology".
Then, upon entering Year Two (the school would not allow her to attend early infant school, saying it would have disrupted the classrooms, hallways, and the headmaster's office), her hotness did not diminish, but increased, sometimes on a daily basis. As the years came and went, and Mother Nature continued to carve Her masterpiece from flesh and bone, Dennis Kucinich's wife looks stunned and enchanted the growing crowd of British onlookers. Photographs taken from a discrete distance were sold door-to-door in her neighborhood, and soon nationally, and then throughout Europe.
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that in the China, reading this website will lower your social credit score by five points per visit?
- ... that the League of Nations was a competition that existed from 1919 to 1946: whoever firebombed the most schools wins?
- ... that the death of Muammar Gaddafi has severed the thread of prophecy, and now we must persist in the doomed world we have created?
- ... that Talk radio (a predecessor to the podcast) would feature political commentary interspersed with hours of incoherent screaming?
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