Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Republican Party Pornography (also known as Red Meat) is the objectification of objects near and dear to the hearts of millions of red blooded Americans. As with other forms of pornography, it is the idea of putting on display those things and objects which would otherwise be forbidden and then objectifying them turns them into something exciting.
Republican Party Pornography may be as simple as taking the word and twisting the meaning into something that would flunk someone taking a high school vocabulary test, or it can be as complex as trotting Alaska’s Republican Governor Sarah Palin out onto a stage in Minnesota to say a few choice words, and out comes the penii of every horny Republican man everywhere to masturbate while watching the Republican National Convention.
| “ | See if you can't leave me about an inch from where the zipper (belches) ends around under my—back to my bunghole | ” |
— Lyndon B. Johnson, on his bunghole
| ||
Dennis Kucinich's wife may be the hottest wife or mistress who has ever walked the halls on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., according to The Hill newspaper's centerfold section and presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin. "Even I think she's hot," says Goodwin, "and I haven't been with a woman in years."
Hot. Her London neighbors thought she was sizzling, her relatives thought she was smokin', and all the stars in the sky thought "This girl is so aces that one day she will marry an American movie star and probably take up Scientology".
Then, upon entering Year Two (the school would not allow her to attend early infant school, saying it would have disrupted the classrooms, hallways, and the headmaster's office), her hotness did not diminish, but increased, sometimes on a daily basis. As the years came and went, and Mother Nature continued to carve Her masterpiece from flesh and bone, Dennis Kucinich's wife looks stunned and enchanted the growing crowd of British onlookers. Photographs taken from a discrete distance were sold door-to-door in her neighborhood, and soon nationally, and then throughout Europe.
- ... that in the China, reading this website will lower your social credit score by five points per visit?
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that a Civil War is a form of warfare defined by its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to other methods like total warfare?
- ... that Hồ Chí Minh was declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in his high school yearbook?
- ... that Talk radio (a predecessor to the podcast) would feature political commentary interspersed with hours of incoherent screaming?
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