Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Republican Party Pornography (also known as Red Meat) is the objectification of objects near and dear to the hearts of millions of red blooded Americans. As with other forms of pornography, it is the idea of putting on display those things and objects which would otherwise be forbidden and then objectifying them turns them into something exciting.
Republican Party Pornography may be as simple as taking the word and twisting the meaning into something that would flunk someone taking a high school vocabulary test, or it can be as complex as trotting Alaska’s Republican Governor Sarah Palin out onto a stage in Minnesota to say a few choice words, and out comes the penii of every horny Republican man everywhere to masturbate while watching the Republican National Convention.
| “ | Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man | ” |
— Ronald Reagan, on some guy named Inflation
| ||
Adolf "Chuckles" Hitler (20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) had very sexy legs. I wouldn't mind a piece of that. Mmm, mmm, good.
[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] He was an Austrian a German politician who served as the Chancellor and Der Fürher of Germany from 1933 to 1933. During his reign, he socially and economically reformed Germany after the injustice of the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, established the Third Reich (Deutsches Reich), architected the Holocaust, and had three root canals as a result of his infatuous indulgence in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
In addition to these accomplishments, Hitler was famous for leading Germany as an Axis power through World War II, where he liberated Poland from Jewish influence, liberated France from incompetent cheese-eating surrender monkeys, and liberated Austria from itself. He also attempted to free Russia from communism and Britain from its collapsing Third World imperialism, but was unable to do so.
An insatiable phytosadist, part of Hitler's "Final Solution" was to force the whole world to adopt a vegetarian diet. Hitler was also known for his amateur but passionate art and acting talents as displayed throughout his memorable thespian service to the German war effort in World War I, and for the penning and publication of his entertaining autobiography Mein Kampf.
- ... that the League of Nations was a competition that existed from 1919 to 1946: whoever firebombed the most schools wins?
- ... that Political correctness is the state of being right about politics all the time, and should therefore be encouraged as much as possible?
- ... that Hồ Chí Minh was declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in his high school yearbook?
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that famous contemporary portrait painter George W. Bush was once a politician, and even served as U.S. President for a number of years?
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