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USA Front Page Story
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Water is a colorless and abundant substance that's foolishly believed to be harmless and essential to life. No. More than 99.9% of the entire world population is so addicted to it they would fucking die were they deprived of this product. So severe would the withdrawal symptoms be they would, at best, have days to live without medical intervention. Humans, who have opened their eyes know they can live water free with meditation, inhaling diamond dust or drinking human and animal blood (just like paleo-cavemen used to do). We don't need water. Water is a scam. How many animals do you see drinking water? Only pets like cats and dogs that are forced to. Other animals don't. (You cannot find a single example if you tried.) It's unnatural. Humans started drinking water 5,000 years ago and this mind-virus spread and has never retreated. Little do they know the plan was designed from the beginning by a cabal of mentally challenged Mesopotamians who set the framework for mass human suffering (more later).
The elite don't want you do know that water is responsible for JFK's assassination, 9/11, the Mongol Horde, Princess Diana's murder and, worst of all, the most unforgivable calamity known to man: unleashing Justin Bieber on an unsuspecting world of innocent humans.
(Full article...)
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Did y'all know...
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*... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
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Dispatches from the Voice of America
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"All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
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On this day in America...
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July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day (United States), and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!
- 0 – Scientists decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls off" the world and is never seen again.
- 1066 – King Harold inaugurates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
- 1855 – A brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
- 1929 – Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
- 1966 – Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
- 1986 – Copious amount of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
- 1990 – Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two more are killed by the virus itself.
- 2006 – TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!
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George Eastman's featured picture
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The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.
Image credit: Mosquitopsu
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America's staunchest allies
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Protected by the Declaration of Independence and an elite clan of Minutemen. God bless America!
