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From today's featured moccasin
Mexico is a Latin American country that pairs total social dysfunction with a population that never asks why nothing works but patiently waits for things to be different later.
Mexico is bordered to the north by the United States, though the border is vague and moving further north; and to the south by several even scarier places such as El Humidor, with which the border doesn't matter. Mexico comprises 21 states, two territories aptly referred to as "Taco.C.", and three districts: a Federal District that is like Washington, D.C. but even smoggier, and the districts of Cancún and Acapulco, except that they are districts of the United States.
Mexico was originally populated by a special breed of human beings, namely the Aztecs and Mayans. They perfected the ritual killing of youngsters, long before the invention of the automobile, and predicted that the world would end soon. They were conquered by the Spaniards, who preached that the world would never end. In 1821 Mexico declared its independence, and modern Mexicans wonder why it is taking so long for the world to end.
Among American Presidents, Barack Obama surely thought he was in Mexico when he promised Americans that things would be different if they would only "hope" for "change". And, ¡ay, Chihuahua! he got away with it. And George W. Bush surely meant Mexico when he referred to the people who "are only doing the jobs that Americans won't do (at least, at the shabby wages we want to pay them)". These jobs include serving spicy meals that induce pain the next day, blowing off court dates, and making snap decisions to leave the expressway despite cruising in the fast lane. (Full article...)
Moccasins
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise (pictured)
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
- Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
- New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
- Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
- Taylor Swift buys back her masters
- "Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
- Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
- Austria wins Eurovision
- MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
- New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
- BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
- Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
- Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
- PBS and NPR to lose funding
- Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
- Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
- Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
- Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
- Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
- World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church
Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG and Stranger Things 5 • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup
Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success
Did You Know? No, you didn't.
- ... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured)
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
- ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
- ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
Today's moccasins
- 666 BC - Lucifer feels the need to throw an extra special party this year, if only to show God how many friends he really has.
- 6 BC - Computer geeks start worrying about the transition to two-digit years, doomsayers proclaim the beginning of the end times.
- 1670 - Creepy child with glowing red eyes is born in a small village in rural Sweden. Turns out it's just a condition, and he inherits his father's moose skinning business.
- 1789 - The Bastille is stormed, the French immediately surrender to themselves.
- 1944 - Dwight D. Eisenhower and Erwin Rommel have a drinking party in Normandy.
- 1966 - Twenty-three people visit a McDonald's in Clearwater, Michigan, only to find it replaced by a Wendy's.
- 1978 - My bitch ex-wife born on this day, coincidence? Biased family court loves stupid bitches who won't let me see my kids! I never touched them!
- 2006 - Christians worry that babies born this day will turn into the Antichrist, so they neglect them and compare them unfavorably to their baby sister.
Moccasin picture of the day
Other moccasins of Moccasinpedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister moccasins
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UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
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