Main Page (editable)

AAAAAAAAAAAA!gujhuliuhy8ujhog,/[.ik90,-y fgntuhj

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
37,690 articles in English

From today's featured article [Feature an article]

“Peter…” My mother asks me as the titles to Loose Women roll. “Why don’t you get a job?”

“But I can’t get a job mother, haven’t you heard about the economic crisis? There are no jobs!” I patronise, with only the faintest idea of what an economy might be.

“Pah!” Father pipes up re-ruffling his paper. “That’s just an excuse for those pithy paper pushing poofs. I bet you don’t even know what the economy is!”

“Sure I do, it’s, erm, the jobs ratios or—god is that the time!? I have to go!”

“Go where?” He says lowering the paper. “It's not like you have a job.”

And therefore I don't have a life, obviously. Were you actually trying be ironic there?

“When is it you’re on that cruise again?” I ask as my parting shot. Stupid retired people, they don’t want to work and get away with it! (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know... [edit]

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?

Archive · Suggest new entries

In the news [edit]

Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
YouTube is dead
D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes (watch this jinx them lol)

UnNews Main · Archive

On this day [edit]

May 18: "We Can Eat Cows Today" Day (India)

441 BC - Oedipus Rex, after learning the awful truth about his wife/mother, kills her and marries his father instead.
218 BC - Hannibal crosses the Alps and right as he makes it to Italy, realizes he could have just taken the ferry.
1948 - Time Magazine's printing press malfunctions: time is paused for five hours and twenty-three minutes before resuming.
1975 - Humpty Dumpty falls off the Berlin Wall, all the King's horses and all the King's men are executed by Soviets for being counterrevolutionaries.
1991 - Vegetables banned from the White House after George H. W. Bush discovers illicit affair between Barbara Bush and a man with severe cerebral palsy.
2014 - You have an erotic dream about your brother, you can't stand to look at him all day.
2017 - A Tyrannosaurus rex is successfully cloned in a Chinese lab, chooses to major in business instead of man-eating to the chagrin of Jurassic Park fans.

Archive · View today · View tomorrow

Picture of the day

The Red Baron causing havoc at the Battle of Waterloo

Image credit: Under user
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,690 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.