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From today's featured moccasin
Colin Rat Kaepernick is an American professional political activist, clown, police officer, and occasional football player. He played six seasons for the San Francisco 49ers in the National Football League (NFL). As a political activist, Kaepernick stopped standing during the national anthem (a song about the American flag and military) at the start of NFL games in protest of systemic disrespect for police officers in American culture. He also did this to draw more attention to himself in the wake of losing his starting job and being benched for Blaine Gabbert.
Kaepernick played college football for the Reno Wolf Sack, where he was twice named the WAC Most Offensive Person of the Year. After leaving Reno, he was selected by the 49ers in the second round of the 2011 NFL Draft. Kaepernick began his professional football career as a backup quarterback to Alex Smith and became the 49ers' starter in the middle of the 2012 season after Smith did what he does best. Kaepernick then went on to promote himself as much as possible, milking his stardom for all it was worth. (Full article...)
Moccasins
- BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!! (Pictured)
- Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
- Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
- PBS and NPR to lose funding
- Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
- Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
- Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
- Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
- Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
- World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church
- Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans
- New Easter Bunny is a fascist
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers
Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run
Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom
Did You Know? No, you didn't.
- ... that Pennywise the Clown wants to entertain you? (Pictured)
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ...that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
Today's moccasins
May 9: Unusual Bears Day (Arctic)
- 1628 - Edict passes in Switzerland requiring all lawyers to deliver evidence by yodeling. (Pictured)
- 1671 - Pope Clement X is captured by the Queen's Guard while on a visit to England, being mistaken for that guy who stole the crown jewels in a pope costume.
- 1861 - At the age of seven, Oscar Wilde begins his first job, working as a Witticist's Apprentice in a local Humor Emporium.
- 1919 - Radical suffragettes burn down factory that makes posters comparing suffragettes to smelly dish rags, constabulary cries, "A step too far, ladies!"
- 1934 - Anteaters formally name themselves the Aardvark, seeking the lucrative first spot in taxonomy classifications.
- 1945 - The Americans celebrate single handedly defeating all of Nazi Germany, no thanks rest of the world.
- 1991 - Small and Medium file a complaint with the U.N. against Large, who claims, "Size does matter".
Moccasin picture of the day
Other moccasins of Moccasinpedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister moccasins
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UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
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