User talk:Leverage/archivedec2013-June2014

Archive: Jan-March 2013 Archive: Mar-Dec 2013

A heavy case of rape

I come to put a heavy case of rape upon your new talk page. There, did you feel it? Aleister 12:43 20-12-13

UnNews:US to invade Syria to show they can

Hi! I just wrote that and it doesn't show in the 'latest UnNews' feed, probably because I started it in my userspace a loooong time ago lol. Just wanted to let you know if you're planning to put it on the UnNews template. :) Mattsnow 03:36, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

Weird. This once happened to me because I put the date and didn't include the following templates at the top of the page:

{{news|{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}}} {{date|{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}}}

but i can't seem to change your page at the minute, so I just pasted it into a new page and that has been included on the unnews. if you manage to edit your original, just huff my copy. Leverage (talk) 07:20, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

OK, thanks, the fact it didn't have the templates makes sense. Mattsnow 15:24, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

I tried one more thing: to rename it and move it, and see if I could edit it. I was able to edit it and put the templates in, but it still doesn't end up in the UnNews section!!! Leverage (talk) 10:05, 4 January 2014 (UTC)

I'm not sure, but I think it's because of the creation date: I created it in August lol. I like to take my time, but that was slow! Pitiful productivity on my part XD Mattsnow 17:02, 4 January 2014 (UTC)

UP HERE! Sorry, I edited on the wrong page, I'll qvfd the other one. Mattsnow 17:27, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

I am still not entirely sure why it didn't work out. We should ask someone with technical know how! Leverage (talk) 17:36, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

OK, I qvfd'd the double redirect. No idea why it didn't work either, I'll ask on IRC next time I write an UnNews, I always start them in my userspace as I always get a case of laziness in the middle of writing it :) I write in short bursts. Mattsnow 17:39, 6 January 2014 (UTC) PS: You have a 'u' atop your talkpage ?!? Mattsnow 17:40, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

Nom for woty

I've calmed down enough to maybe realize that you were engaging in some kind of sick joke when you fake nommed me for woty, trying to entertain the troops at my expense and laughing with every typed letter of the alphabet. Faux "Thanks!" for the faux nom, it was kind of funny in one of those twisted sort of ways the Brits love, and everyone had a big laugh out of it. You don't seem to care for my feelings, a man broken by his peers, a fellow traveler so covered by the dust on this road that you think you can toss a beer can at me and I'll cut it open just so I can get at those last delicious drops stuck to the top of the inside of the can, where the metal imprints make little channels which trap the fluid (do you think I carry around mini-metal cutters for my health?). Am I nothing more to you than cat fodder, a boat listing to the side, a small rodent eyed and taloned by a hawk the size of an elephant, or a beaker of acid thrown in the face of a small child? If I thought for a moment you were serious I'd say "Thanks Leverage, very appreciative and that was cool. Love you man." but the last thing I think is that it was serious, it was mean, disruptive to the wiki, and made me the laughing stock of my peers, who have just poured urine onto my computer so now I have to sun dry it for about a month. I'd write more but I have to go tend the sheep, and even they are snickering and pointing behind my back with those little grey hoofs. Just my luck one of them has the runs, and has just squatted OVER MY COMPUTER!!! Aleister 12:17 4-1-14

I am a bit bummed out. The Woty is a one horse race, and FYMB said I am the only one who writes on this site. Is it juts me and the admins left? Leverage (talk) 16:57, 4 January 2014 (UTC)

No, lots of people write. You just write better than them. And come up with the crazy ideas that, teamed up with good writing, get you into a one-horse race. Secretariat would have been proud to have sired you. Aleister 20:52 4-1-14

I actually considered voting for you, Aleister. You write a lot of stuff too. But I think Leverage writes more, is all. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia 23:11, 4 January 2014 (UTC)

Other people's user pages

So I'm vacillating back and forth between giving you a three-minute ban and not giving you a three-minute ban for those user pages you put the chipmunk on. However, since That Particular User Who Isn't Here isn't here, I'm going to let you off with a warning and this very very stern talking-to. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jan 5 '14 12:32 (UTC)

Miss Jackson my intentions were good. I honestly thought a page with a dormouse on it would magically dissipate any rage someone might have for Spike, as opposed to a relic of old arguments and ting. The same used to work with kittens, till they got overexposed online. Leverage (talk) 14:46, 5 January 2014 (UTC)

Upload Videos

How do I upload YouTube videos'?:I Love Bizzeebeever

Lucy Thai, one of this generation's greatest raconteurs, explains it step by step: Leverage (talk) 10:02, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

Haha! It's raw talent right there! Mattsnow 13:30, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

I wrote this a while ago. It will answer many technical questions: UnNews:Newsroom Leverage (talk) 14:47, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

We probably think she's a slut but she's totally not! --ShabiDOO 23:51, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

Watching porn stars having to keep it in their pants on YouTube is strangely compelling. Leverage (talk) 09:58, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Shabidoo, I watched another video of her and I think she is :D Mattsnow 21:57, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Ernie

Ah, you are working like a dog on Hemingway. Have you read what I consider my opus here, "The Old Man and LV"? That's my homage to both Hemingway and Las Vegas, and I tried to tie the page in to "The Old Man and The Sea" enough so that someone who knows the book will see some of the connections. Viva Papa! Aleister 21:09 8=1=14

Your UnNews

Made me research this and I would not bet on this bloke in an improvisation contest LOL. BTW, I started my last UnNews in my userspace and it showed up on the 'latest UnNews' just fine. Probably the problem with the first one was the date of creation I reckon. Mattsnow 23:00, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Err you don't think my UnNews is OK enough for the front page? No problem with that, just wanted to make sure you had seen it :) Mattsnow 16:19, 9 January 2014 (UTC)

Aw not at all! I'm very happy to have some company! Le probleme c'est que I actually had work to do today, so I just wrote my little story and put it up without even looking at the UnNews page. Done now. Leverage (talk) 20:43, 9 January 2014 (UTC)

OK, cool :) What an embarrassing moment for Michael Bay, he's even worse of a public speaker than me lol Mattsnow 20:47, 9 January 2014 (UTC)

I know you well busy, but do you think this one is good enough? I value your opinion :) Amazon: A survival story Mattsnow 15:18, 10 January 2014 (UTC)

I read your UnNews again and I think it is worthy of VFH. I'll just wing this. *Runs* BTW, the images you see in the background as he speaks are Quebec City, my hometown lol Mattsnow 15:38, 10 January 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the proofreading on the UnNews. Very appreciated :) Mattsnow 18:44, 10 January 2014 (UTC)

How do you sound when you speak English, Matt? Do you have a North American accent, or is it very coloured by your first language? --Leverage (talk) 18:47, 10 January 2014 (UTC)

I sound like a quebecer, very rugged. I don't get to speak English at all in my life, here it is an exclusively French speaking place. Only tourists speak English, but I get to practice the speaking part sometimes as I have friends who are bilingual and we practice. I'm very attached to French though, it's in our roots here in Quebec (Canada). Where are you from if I may ask? Mattsnow 19:55, 10 January 2014 (UTC)

Like this little cutie? [1] She's an interesting example, at times sounds very American, at other times completely foreign - "th" sounds, etc. Leverage (talk) 20:21, 10 January 2014 (UTC)

YOU'VE BEEN SERVED

Now take that serving! --ShabiDOO 16:54, 11 January 2014 (UTC)

I what? Leverage (talk) 11:12, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

Source author

Hi! On template {{source}}, the |author= section refers to the source's original author, not you. Great work on your UnNews by the way! --Mimo&maxus 14:07, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

I know, it's just something I like to do. When I read UnNews, I always check history to see who they are by, and I like this quicker way of signing things. It also means that if a reader likes the writer, they might click on the name, find more articles they like, and stick around. I think a major problem here compared with say, the Onion, is that it's impossible to control quality, so anything that helps a reader identify writers he likes is beneficial to the site. That's the philosophy. Leverage (talk) 16:25, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

So, the philosophy is to advertise yourself, and that by misusing a template? If the reader wants to identify the writer he can do so by checking the history of the article. Signing articles has always been against Uncyclopedia's policies. --Mimo&maxus 18:05, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

Well one, it's not advertising, because there's no product; I don't benefit from people visiting my user page. The only outcome is that of the, what, dozen people who read a page, if one clicks on "Leverage" he might find similar stories he likes, and stay on the site - which is our main issue; the fork started off with a small band of users and has regularly lost contributors without really replacing them. And two, "misusing a template" seems a little OTT. In a year and a half of being here, I have seen various authors use the template in their own way, and the "author" part is often filled in with joke names, as is the headline, source name, etc.

I had this debate once before with MrN, and I think he gave up on account of the fact that I am the only person who writes things here on a regular basis (see the depressing Woty). I came to the fork because I wanted to read and write stuff, and not have one more conversation with Spike about trivial bullshit. So you can either turn a blind eye to my heinous template violation, or do a Spike impression and revert me when I next sign a story. reckon you'll only have to do it once. Leverage (talk) 19:21, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

Nah, it's alright. I overreacted and sorry for that. It's true, we do lack writers here and it's good that you're around. I'd rather you didn't use your user page to bring people here but if that's the only way to do that then I guess I can settle for it hehe. Maybe we can make a template containing titles and previews of recent UnNews so that the reader can navigate to them from the template and via an author's user page. Dunno. What do you say? --Mimo&maxus 21:22, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

Page shaped up

Here's one. Scary.

That Guidebooks to the cloud page, still on VFH, has been shaped up lately with lots of pictures which will make it much easier to see the faces and shapes. I've finally learned how to crop and color a picture, then save and upload it (yay?!), so have done some of that on that page. Can you grab another look at the page and see if you can see some of the faces now? Thanks. I just read your defrocking UnNews, and why these guys wear a frock in the first place is beyond me. I should buy a frock and wear it to the church (I once sat in the front pew of a catholic mass, took notes, and didn't stand up and kneel and stuff, and the priest kept looking at me like I was going to jump him at any moment). Aleister 13:47 18-1-14

I can imagine you as a Priest actually, Allie. Not a real one, of course. But definitely someone who dresses up as one and eeks out a living asking widows for donations. P.s. Quinoa-based salad things in my house are now known as Maryland Salad, in honour of your fake homeland. Leverage (talk) 14:39, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote! Did you see some of the faces, or was it the scary face in the pic above that pushed you over the edge into la la land? And I once had the grassy knoll all to myself when I traveled to see an old friend in Dallas. It was 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning, and I got to view everything and walk on everything and take a few shots at cars all to my heart's content, with no one else around. I should have whacked off or pissed on the grassy knoll, come to think of it, that would have been a story to tell and I would have told it. Do you want to collab on an UnNews about an official pissing contest on the grassy knoll, where conspiracy theorists face off (well, penis off) against Vincent Buglosi and Stephen King and others who believe in the long gunperson? That could be a fun one. Aleister 12:14 19=1=14

As I alluded to in the nom, it was the forensic A, B, C labelled stuff that did it for me. I did actually manage to see some faces in what had been a seething grey mass. Leverage (talk) 21:06, 19 January 2014 (UTC)

The A,B,C pic was one that a user on ATS posted, and all the faces he found were new (except he clipped part of the face posted above). I tried to put the other ones in other pics scattered on the page. I love the goddess of liberty one, and the close up of her tiara and right eye. This stuff is one for the Charles Fort books, and I won't be surprised to see it go viral or show up in some of the tabloids here in the Falklands at some point - it is very unusual. Aleister 18:25 20=1=14

Of all the cool doods I know

...named either Bill Melater, Ratfactor, Equilateralperil or Leverage, you're the coolest. (Mainly because you stuck around and those other fuckers didn't.) ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jan 18 '14 13:51 (UTC)

Bizzeebeever has awarded you a cookie! I'm gonna put random words like "Captain Boobmunch" here because "tee hee".

It's still looking weird dude. Did you try the revert-me-do idea? Can I be made an admin just so I can toy with these things from time to time, etc? Leverage (talk) 14:41, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

Yo Leverage, I’m really happy for you and Imma let you finish but I just thought of this great joke and thought I should tell it to you guys cause it's, like, super awesome and funny and stuff. Here it is;

Leverage? More like "beverage"!

Amirite? --Mimo&maxus 22:19, 19 January 2014 (UTC)

Congrats

It was a close race, down to the wire, but congratulations on winning Writer of the Year! Well deserved. Just wait until you see the nifty trophy. Aleister 15:54 1-2-14

Thank you! As a sign of my appreciation, I hereby send you this link. This is a site called Forvo, an excellent resource in which they attempt to record every word in the world. Good for language learning etc. Your compatriot here, possibly from Maryland, went through a phase of recording words on the site in 2010. The most recent stuff is fairly innocuous, but keep clicking on the 2nd, 3rd pages, and you will find a velvet voiced vixen who makes wish i lived in Alicante. Leverage (talk) 16:49, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

I see vagina has a meritous 14 votes. I personally prefer chocho. --ShabiDOO 10:38, 4 February 2014 (UTC)

I came across it the way all boys come across everything in dictionaries, by looking up the rude words. Anal sex has a valiant effort from a Kiwi girl, who will put you off buggery for life. Leverage (talk) 11:47, 4 February 2014 (UTC)

Well done Leverage. Keeping us honest at the Spoon too with your UnNews stories. A Golden plated Fork is yours for the taking. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:13, 4 February 2014 (UTC)

Foolitzer

I nominated you for yet another Foolitzer Prize. Thanks for keeping UnNews alive. Also, congrats of the Writer of the Year award! -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 09:46, Feb. 8, 2014

Long time no see! Thanks for the nom. Please check out my latest UnNews and spread the word about the man named Semen all over your social networks. Leverage (talk) 09:52, 8 February 2014 (UTC)

My good Sir

We in the Falklands implore you to consider, for your consideration, considering, the article on VFH about Mr. Martin Luther King's tomb being discovered by a clever Egyptian explorer. This page, last on the VFH list but first in the hearts of some countrymen, awaits your considered decision. In all, with the sheep, Aleister 16:33 9-2-14

All people of science and archeology thank you for your vote, and when we mount an expedition to the site itself, you will be invited. Aleister 19:06 11-2-14

Hey Dude I Don't Know

Loved your article on gay football players. You a fan of the NFL or just picked the superbowl winning team because everyone watches the superbowl? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 05:18, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

I guess I am a fan. I am English so I can't really choose a team, and I don't know too many players' names, but I like sport in general, and as a kid I got into the NFL before I got into English football. So sometimes I find myself on Sunday nights watching bits of the games over dinner. Actually, that's my attitude to most sports. Apart from football (soccer) and cricket, I don't think I could name many players in any sport but I like watching people run around, kicking things and throwing things and knocking each over. Are you new here? Leverage (talk) 08:31, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

Happy Monkey? Naw. He been here forever. Hi! Also I'm stalking you. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Feb 15 '14 2:25 (UTC)

Ahead of Private Eye?

This is what the opposition did with the giraffe story! --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:37, 19 February 2014 (UTC)

I had an idea a while ago that I would send satire websites a link to all my stories, and if I consistently 'beat' their writers, they might offer me a million-pound contract. --Leverage (talk) 15:09, 19 February 2014 (UTC)

I think you may have a long wait. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:26, 19 February 2014 (UTC)

Hands and brownies

Great paraphrasing! Anton (talk) 16:43, 23 February 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for the proofreading and improvements! Leverage (talk) 17:07, 23 February 2014 (UTC)

UnNews Crocodilia?

I claim my £10 and out you as David Attenborough. :) --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:42, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

It's a mess of an UnNews, inspired by Daniel Day Lewis (sup sup sup), Aleisterical ramblings, Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now, and a video called something like Wildebeest vs wildebeest vs lion. Leverage (talk) 14:32, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

"Aleisterical ramblings". I like that. I will consider adding that one to my lexicon (with your permission) as it applies to the Fork and the Spoon. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:48, 5 March 2014 (UTC)

Zombo

Hey Leveragie-poo. I'm at an impasse with an article I'm writing. I'd like to combine some totally different concept into an article about [2] but I can't for the life of my think of another concept. Do you have any ideas? --ShabiDOO 00:49, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

I would go for a cod history of the website. Possible ideas: 1) cod photos of how the page 'developed' a la the wikipedia page on Facebook 2) a mini bio of the narrator and the cursed life he has led since the website launched 3) the site's phenomenal local impact on the later 1990s, possibly with news stories and controversies - teen suicides, arrests, etc, 4) an examination of the narration, and what it means by unlimited possibilities. Leverage (talk) 07:06, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

I particularily like the teen suicides and arrests idea. GREAT IDEA in fact. Thanks a lot leverage! --ShabiDOO 18:54, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

Your forum

Your forum about features has done nothing to wipe the search for Dr. King's tomb off of the main page. The news of this discovery is too big to remove, and as the years go by you will realize this, as will the millions of people who will be reading it as the main feature for decades to come. Nice try though. Aleister 11:50 St. Patty's Day-14

I am going to usee nobody cares for the first time. Leverage (talk) 21:42, 17 March 2014 (UTC)

It looks like some vandal changed the feature. This is quite the loss for future generations, but hopefully the admins will catch it and put the King tomb feature back. If you know admins please alert them. Thanks. Aleister 11:36 18-3-14

What are you talking about? Someone changed the feature, yes. What's the problem with that? – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 18:47, 18 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

I do not understand why you would want any other feature. The King tomb article was featured, and that should be it. Putting up a new one is counter-intuitive at that point. Aleister confused in crimea 20:58 18-3-14

And who is this Peter Sagan guy anyway? And what does he have to do with tombs? Leverage (talk) 21:03, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

The river of time never stops flowing. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is perfect. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 21:51, 18 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

I don't think we're talking about the same article. By saying nothing is perfect you must be referring to another page. The permanence thing, I still can't wrap my head around why the vandal was allowed to remove it as the main feature and still be able to operate openly on the website. If only SPIKE were here this would have been handled correctly by now, to everyone's present and future satisfaction. But thanks for your philosophical thoughts, although not applicable to the present situation. Al 22:55 18-3-14 saw the 2013 film 'The Great Gatsby' yesterday, quite impressive.

Ok. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 23:13, 18 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

So as not to lose you completely, this entire section is satire. I was the only person to support Leverage's sick psychotic rant in the forum he posted about putting up more features (we have enough good ones now to change it every day or every two days for awhile). So I was playing with him, and you may have taken it seriously, so of course we started to play with you. Playing is the coin of the realm on this site, aye! I love and appreciate your enthusiasm for uncy, I really do. Aleister 1:02 19-3-14

Playing with people is a good thing to do. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 02:57, 19 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

Idea for story

I saw this headline and thought it might be a funny idea for unnews story: "Walmart sues another company for unethical and immoral practices". Easy irony really considering how they pay their employee nothing, buy from child labour mills in Asia, avoid taxes in most communities, bash unions, bribery in Mexico etc. I don't have time to write it but I'm sure you could the link --ShabiDOO 08:23, 28 March 2014 (UTC)

Hey man, I forgot to get back to you about this. I am a bit UnNewsed out at the moment, I am only really tinkering with Breaking Bad Wind at the moment. I think my next news story will be a Mattel smear! Leverage (talk) 22:18, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

I think we're not supposed to do any Mattel articles etc until the Fisher Price business is resolved. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 23:47, 29 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

Annoying Man Strikes Again

I was wondering if you'd like me to use {{Annoying clickable button}} on your HowTo (for the links). It would look like this:

When you fantasize about being inside this woman, is she spinning


a) Clockwise b) Counter-clockwise

The default class (no class) is a gray/white.

If not, that's cool. Thought I better ask before doing. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 28 '14 17:31 (UTC)

Looks great. I'd really appreciate it! --Leverage (talk) 17:55, 28 March 2014 (UTC)

Cool. Will do. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 28 '14 18:08 (UTC)

this image

Is one of the best I've seen in centuries. Are you up for collaborating on an article inspired by it? I'm thinking a team of four would do nicely :) --ShabiDOO 15:40, 25 April 2014 (UTC)

I don't see why not. Do you have a basic idea for an outline, or are you mostly just giggling like a schoolboy at the moment? :-D Leverage (talk) 16:33, 25 April 2014 (UTC)

Eeeeeeeeeee he he he he heeeeeeeeee. Gigggggle giggle gigggggggggle. --18:43, 25 April 2014 (UTC)– Preceding unsigned comment added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)

Thanks

For the spell check and actually everything check at Brittany Spear. You made some much needed changes, and then you actually must have gotten drunk and....voted for it! Thanks! To be fleaturd it needs a few more votes, but you and Magic Bus made my day. It brings a tear to my captive prisoner's eye. Aleister 23:36 11-5-14

RE the Prince..

Obviously I understand what you did there... I was going to do similar... Nice one. Shame you can't recreate pages and view all deleted pages on Uncyclopedia ... JFC 12:05. May 24

Well a lot of things got burned in the forest fire, but luckily we have a few other sites here or there that function more or less like mirrors. Leverage (talk) 12:13, 24 May 2014 (UTC)

Shame you have to go there to do that. I just got that new bit for the article from the intro on the other there. I forgot how much fun a good Spook can be! JFC 13:32. May 24