User:Pasmorade/Kidz Bop
The Prince of Darkness — the ultimate purveyor of all things wicked, vile, and malevolent — has personally reviewed this article. The submitter and all subsequent editors are damned to eternal torment in hellfire
Considering selling your soul to the Devil? For great rates call 1-800-666-EVIL.
| Kidz Bop | |
|---|---|
 The logo of Kidz Bop | |
| Founded: | October 9, 2001 |
“GODDAMN! How the FUCK did they get to 40 albums?”
“I didn't know I had competition.”
Kidz Bop, formerly known in the circles of Scientology as Kids on Stage For a Better World,[1] is a children's cult disguised as a musical network. They mainly steals music from popular artists to profit off them but are also the second-largest cult in Earth, after Scientology. Originally created in 1992 to shamelessly promote the works of L. Ron Hubbard, in 2001, they split from Scientology and rebranded into Kidz Bop, shifting their focus into making covers of pop music. Nowadays, they are highly disliked for their cultist practices, which have landed them in hot water in at least ten countries.
Discography[edit | edit source]
Since their creation in the 1990s, Kidz Bop have been ruining the chances of their child workers by featuring them in their videos. We now know that the children who sing these covers were always just picked off the streets, as they wouldn't need to pay them.
Scientology Era[edit | edit source]
In early 1991, hip-hop duo Kris Kross released their hit single "Jump". This song would become their most influential single, even penetrating the walls of Scientology. As a result, some Scientologists thought that they could make music just like the duo, with the only catch being that it would worship Scientology. As a result, in early 1992, Cliff Chenfeld and Craig Balsam, two influential Scientologists who had created their own record label two years prior, founded Kids on Stage For a Better World. This began the Scientology era, which kickstarted the cringy discography associated with Kidz Bop.
Albums[edit | edit source]
- Glory Be To Xenu (1993)
- Life of Hubbard (1999)
Singles[edit | edit source]
- Starts With Me (1993)
- Glory Be To Xenu (1993)
- Life of Hubbard (1999)
- Don't Pass Me By (2000)
Creepy Old Men Era[edit | edit source]
Modern Era[edit | edit source]
Scandals[edit | edit source]
Kidz Body[edit | edit source]
Wanting to take advantage of the growing Elsagate movement, in 2014, Kidz Bop released Kidz Body, a children's sexual education program which was sponsored by Jared Fogle. The platform hosted many informative articles about the human body and all anyone would need to know about sex. Originally successful, the platform was disbanded following the 2017 "Princess Leia cosplay incident", in which girls all across television elected to dress in illicit attire.
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Seriously, Scientology did have their own children's band from 1992 until the early 2010s. Here's some info about it