User:Enzo Aquarius/Interstate 10

Interstate 10
Part of the Jerry Seinfeld Interstate Highway System
Length: 5000 miles (Not in Texan Miles) Formed: Sand/Bones/Dirt/Asphalt West End: SR-1, next to Santa Monicaaaa.... Major Junction: Too many. East End: I-95 at Daniel Jacksonville

Interstate 10 (sometimes abbreviated to INSTA-10) is the south-most south-north-eastern-west Interstate in the United States of America and, illegally, in Texas. It stretches from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean, and thus is a very thin Interstate in the center Texas area, much to the dismay of Texan truck drivers.

Major Cities

According to results from the 1968 Rock, Paper, Scissors Competition, Louisiana controls this interstate and what it's major cities are. Due to a foreseen event, the New Orleans Interstate Control Corporation cannot access the Interstate system. Control of major cities has now moved to the Arizona Board of Illegalized Gambling.

Almost forgot, bolded cities are control cities. My bad!

• Santa Monicaaa, California
• Lost Angeles, California
• San Mexicano-Namo-Cityo, California
• Riverside, California (Don't ask me why a town beside a lake is a 'major city', I'm only a bunch of 1s and 0s.)
• India, California
• Blah, California
• Phoenix, Arizona
• Tuckson, Arizona
• His Majesty, the Lordburg of Albany, New Mexico
• Denny's, New Mexico (Home of Denny's Headquarters. "How many we not help you today?")
• La Screus, New Mexico
• Old El Paso, Texas
• Van Horny, Texas
• San Antonio, Texas (Location of the world's biggest burger. Eat it, avoid the explosive diarrhea, and win a free cowboy hat.)
• Houston, Texas
• FrenchLand, Texas
• Lake Prince Charles, Louisiana (Now called Prince Charles Ocean)
• Lafayette, Louisiana (Access only by boat)
• Baton Bleu, Louisiana
• Atlantis, Louisiana
• 3 random unaccessable cities
• Mobile, Alabama (Home to the largest trailer parks in America)
• Pensapepsi, Florida
• Tallamaahasseess, Florida
• Lake's Head, Florida
• Daniel Jacksonville, Florida

Route Description

California

As almost everybody in California rides the Interstate 10 to go shopping, people have given this route a great number of names including (but not limited to), The Christopher Columbus Unnavigated Trans-national Interstate Highway, The Mexican Way (watch out for illegal immigrants), Veteran's Memorial Highway (WARNING, this section of Interstate is badly maintained), Bono Way, Doctor Daniel Jackson Stargate Interstate and Tons of Links Interstate Highway Linkage.

The law defining the Interstate is undefined, as the great Arnold Schwarzenegger could care less about it. Nonetheless, he tears the Interstate with his Hummer everyday.

Arizona

It's sand, lots and lots of sand. Pack up on gas and water or you're screwed. In Phoenix, prepare to spend six days sitting in traffic. Your car may or may not make it through this state in the same condition it was before it entered.

New Mexico

Nothing is to be found in New Mexico along the interstate, except a few shitty hotels, some abandoned teepees, and a helluva lot of Mexicans. If you are White, people will stare at you funny. Only one White person lives there, and she's a piece of white trash gal working at the Denny's in Deming who cliams that she was abandoned by her rich, California family on their way to Florida.

Texas

A simple section of Interstate in Texas.

The Interstate 10 going through Texas is considered quite 'simple to navigate' by the locals, though those from outside the Texas country will find themselves searching for a gun to shoot themselves. Luckily guns are easy to find in Texas along this Interstate. (Surprisingly, driving through Houston on I-10 is quite an enjoyable experience. Really. I promise.)

One section of the Texas interstate has 26 lanes, including 4 HOV lanes, 2 HOT lanes (for those with dang hot looks, many people from Texas are ineligible for using this lane) and 16 truck lanes (though most need to use 8 of them).

Truck stops are quite common along the Texas section of this Interstate. Expect to find the following at these stops:

• 4 Shell Gas Stations
• 2 Exxon Diesel Stations
• 30 Coca-Cola Machines
• 31 Pepsi Machines
• 17 Dr. Pepper Machines (especially in Waco)
• 2 Coca-Cola with lemon Machines
• 3 Pepsi with lemon Machines
• 4 Coca-Cola Black Machines
• 5 Diet Pepsi Machines
• 6 Coca-Cola with Cherry Machines
• 7 Cherry Pepsi Machines
• 1 Hobo

Louisiana

This man has obviously been to Mississippi, his skin even shows it.

Permanently Unavailable

Mississippi

Nothing notable here, though the odd toilet may appear on the side of the road.

Alabama

They are simple folk there in ole' Alabama, most of which will lead you through their simple state. But be forewarned, many will trick you with fine print contracts which will force you to file for bankruptcy.

By reading this page, you will give me all of your assets, sucker.

Florida

To accommodate incoming tourists, the lanes of the Interstate in Florida were increased to 47. Along with that, the number of ads for orange fruit stands increased by 500%, which also increased tourist suicide rates by 500%.

Notes

• Many exits in Atlantis lead to nowhere. Then again, there's no way to access this part of Interstate anyways, so who cares.
• In Texas, the Interstate speed limit is 100 mph. Might want to do out your will.
• At various points on the Interstate, the grade can reach 10%. It is highly recommended by state officials that you pack a roller coaster car with you when travelling this section.
• Mile 666 occurs in Houston, Texas. Talk about tough luck.

See Also

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"Guide to the World" does not guarantee a perfect guide. You have been forewarned, so travel at your own risk, for dangerous animals could eat you alive, like that grue behind you. Have a nice day!"