Unnamed moccasin essay
Note: I originally wrote this for ?pedia before realizing that it didn't fit in with any of their articles. Like, at all. It's also crappy as hell, and possibly unfinished too. So instead i've pasted it here for you to disenjoy.
“MOCCASINS”
– The entire Uncyclopedia community, circa 2024
“...what?”
– Literally everyone else
Moccasins are swag as moccasins a form of footwear known exclusively for their role in Uncyclopedia fanfictions that were written sometime between the start of [[Jeremy]] 2024 and the end of the known universe itself. They don't exist outside of this context whatsoever.
"Background"[edit | edit source]
An unnamed marsupial was busy writing a fanfiction one day in Farbleum, when he accidentally, single-handedly started the massive avalanche (of shoes) that was about to unfold. The avalanche was then delayed by a couple of weeks before it hit THE UNCYCLOPEDIA hard.
Continuation[edit | edit source]
People fucking loved the fanfictions, and thus got all caught in the ensuing avalanche. Why? Because the creator was EVIL! And also because the concept of moccasins is funny somehow. Don't ask, i don't know what goes on in the minds of the Uncyclopedianesses.
Anyway, they made a character based solely around this shoe, as well as an entire nation for him to rule over. He's also comically evil, which can be attributed to him secretly being French. No, i'm not joking. Also, like any badly written one-dimensional villain, he gets overthrown by his dad and continues under his real name of Jacques Noir. There's also a shrine to the moccasin god, as well as a temple dedicated solely to the moccasins themselves. And also a university? What the fuck is happening over there?
Real-world presence[edit | edit source]
Conspiracy theories[edit | edit source]
Moccasins are frequently claimed to be the footwear of the evil cabal by conspiracy theorists, purely because they're fictional. It might also be due to Uncyclopedia epically succeeding in infiltrating their circles and slowly letting them know of this looming threat to humanity just to mess with them. This is, by and large, a quite well-hidden piece of knowledge. So well-hidden, in fact, that this is the only place you can find it. The lot of them kept their mouth shut, and it paid off. Lmao
Of course, the conspiracies have evolved to the point where they frequently reference Uncyclopedia's page on moccasins as proof that there's a moccasin cabal. And that they're sentient. Which i honestly wouldn't put past these things, they can look scarily alive at times.