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More cabal
- By Y
If you haven't heard, the "lovely" and "beautiful" Jew / Cabal runner named Mordillo, who left in 2011, has decided to return. It's not official yet, he's just made a couple of edits, but WHO GIVES A DAMN. Let's just say he's back. We will now have our (nonexistent) cabal back with our favourite Jewish Uncyclopedian, kakun Mordillo. Let's give him a big round of applause. And remember kids, there is no cabal.
Bringing back the Old School FA
- By Sir Peasewhizz
 This is a picture. My little brother did it. He hates you. With love. Yes, we're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it, if you know what we mean. And not only is it great that we're bringing it back since the 99th issue of the UnSignpost (8 issues from 100th anniversary of the section departure), but it makes it extra special that it's Why?:Your cat died making it on the big screen for its return! This, we swear, was not an incident of Sir Peasewhizz[1] taking advantage of his abilities during the construction of the USP this week. And we're totally not promoting propaganda. Sillies.
One of the ten (to make your chances of guessing correctly less) following articles will be the Old School FA of the Week in next week's issue, can you guess it? Probably not, but we'll let you take a crack at it anyway: Commercial, A Man Getting Hit in the Crotch 800 Times, Sideboob, Kwanzaa, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Riddle, Fox News, Red Lobster, Stratego, or Snow angels. You have a 1/10 chance to get this correct. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Peace <3.
- ↑ Wow, self-reference much?
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
- By Y
If you haven't already heard (which you probably have), RAHB started a vote to give bureaucrat rights to MadMax, the awesome admin. In a 14–0 vote, Dawg gave him the rights on the 16th. Now, this obviously raised the age old question - what is MadMax's use of this user right?
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Ask Zombiebaron
- I've got $12 and I'm looking to party (asked by Colin "All your base" Heaney)
- At the LCBO they sell a 12oz bottle ("mickey") of this stuff called Alpenbitter for $19.55. It is 40% and tastes like strange candy.
- Is Zombiebaron related to Che Guevara? (asked by Joe9320)
- I am over 300 years old. So, uh, no I am not related to Che Guevara. But if I was it would totally look exactly like this classic featured image.
- Zombie, you being an internet celebrity and all; have you ever given an autograph to anyone's boobs? (asked by Cat the Colourful)
- Not yet. It is definitely a goal of mine though.
- Zombiebaron, how old were you when you first molested your priest? (asked by Hotadmin4u69)
- Old enough.
- Ooo, baby, won't ya give me your love tonight? (asked by RAHB)
- Yeah man! If by "love" you mean "make dick jokes on IRC", and by "tonight" you mean "every night".
Ask Zombiebaron questions and maybe he will answer them!
NEXT WEEK! A SPECIAL BONER EDITION!
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Confucius say
- Good to meet girl at park, but better to park meat in girl
- Couple who engage in battle have a "war"nderful wed-dying
- Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
- Man who raises angry chickens eats raging cock for dinner
- Man who have sex in psych ward... fucking crazy!
- Man who go to Vatican to visit pope... Vatican't
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From our logs:
- 13:33, March 14, 2013 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) (ERROR: USER IS TOO SEXY TO BE BANNED)
- 13:31, March 14, 2013 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I'm not a noob, I'm simply not Zombiebaron. *Hail! Hail*)
- 06:33, March 14, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked 193.44.1.86 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (Wankstain)
- 01:47, March 14, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.200.243.166 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months (fuck off and dont ever return ty)
- 21:55, March 13, 2013 Legoktm (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiemoron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Not being Zombiebaron)
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IRC Log Of The Week
<Kippy> You know chaos theory and/or the Butterfly Effect? What if it could cause ripples through the spacetime continuum? Like, say, I farted while peeing and retroactively caused the Holocaust.
<Strainj1> hahaha
<Strainj1> it probably did
<Kippy> :O
<Kippy> A sandwich caused one of the World Wars, so I'm not ruling it out.
<Strainj1> probably a pastrami and cucumber sandwich
<Strainj1> they're evil
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Biopic: In Their Own Words
Skizzerz takes the seat in the the one and only Biopic of the Week, only available on demand! Well, before we start, you need to know that Skizzerz's natural habitat is on the IRC and lurks within the darkness! So, that'll be a reason you don't know who he is if you are stupid and are one of those who don't! Here's what Skizzerz had to tell the press:
- Uh, well I'm a college student who likes computers, wikis, video games, and girls. Over the years I've been mostly hanging out on Uncyc's IRC chan and not really editing much (read: I only edit when Zombiebaron tells me to). My favorite article is probably the one where it tells you not to click any links, and my favorite year would probably be 2013 because we (finally) left Wikia.
And this was his closing remark:
- Don't expect me to be any more active because of this, I have the title of "resident lurker" to uphold after all! :P
And there you have it! Skizzerz!
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Old School Featured Article of the Week
- Why?:Your cat died
- Originally featured on 13 December 2012
Rick, this is a bad time. A very, very, very bad time. I'm so sorry. But, hey! Listen. You can't be mad at me. You shan't be mad at me! Even though you hired me to babysit your cat, it was not my fault! Now the reason why Mr. Snickermuffins died is not one that could be easily taken for truth. But, in this case, it was what happened. I swear! What are you doing Rick? Stop searching for evidence and knifes! DAMMIT RICK! RICK! I can explain! Just stop panicking, Rick! God dammit! Rick. Listen. (Full article...)
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