Thong

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Thong, Kent

“I love those things! I got my sister some salad tongs for her baby shower just last year! They were silver.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Tongs

“They're not made of leather, they're spandex! I was looking at one of my mom's, and they are 97% spandex...”

~ Grant on Thongs

“Although they were meant for wearing, I find them most favorable when dipped in gravy!”

~ Fat Bastard on Thongs

A thong is a thin strip of underwear, mostly made for women who want to be given wedgies. Some women have said they love getting wedgie and having a thong sticking out of their pants increases their chaances of getting a wedgie. They especially like it when they're thongs are pulled until they rip. It is to be worn dead square in the crack of the ass. Several tests have been performed on monkeys in the 1970's and by the 1980's, they were available to everyone in vending machines everywhere. It is also the name of a Chinese traveller who helps Ator fight that John Saxony type guy. THONGS are also commonly worn by women who get pantsed so they can expose some "stuff"

History

A generic thong. Study it closely.

The thong was invented in 1342 by a French Scientist by the name of Guy Duculottes when he was tired of his daughters' underwear turning up in the laundry with humungous poop stains.

it is ilegal in all 19 countries, for people with ginger hair to wear thongs.

Originally they were made of paper and he had to admit, they didn't last long in the water. It wasn't until 1345 that he changed the formula from paper to leather, and then to cotton, and then back to leather again. It turns out that leather is an active turd fighting element.

In 1940 farmers in the Kent hamlet of Thong, who had been growing nylon for a number of years, financed the construction of a work house where prisoners of war were forced to knit the underwear style from the nylon. At the height of business in 1944 the hamlet was supplying 75% of British soldiers with underwear which was now known as the "Thong".

More History

Thongs are popular clothing choices among Sumo-Jedi's.

It was the year 1901, and the thong's popularity grew. Sisquo popularized the thong in the song "Watch the music video and jerk Off". Waves of French exotic dancers and slutty gypsies that all had the same name of "Sluttina Aquafina" made their way on banana boats to the great US of A and slowly settled down in great numbers around various cities. Candace Macmullin has been known to wear the same thong for weeks on end.Thongs are very popular among Azerbaijani teen girls because Azerbaijan is no 1 nylon thong producer in china since azebaijani farmers are known to grow nylon in their fields.People like to discuss thongs on the internet blogs and they are always curious and ask "do thongs smell after you wear them for like 2days and 24 hours?".

Make sure your thong isn't too tight.

Unfortunately, many thongs were lost when a cargo ship carrying millions crashed outside a beach somewhere in Alaska. (See The Thong Wearing Eskimo Tribe Theory)

Meanwhile, back in the US, the thong had its humble beginnings in the many factories producing fake sheep wool because it was mistaken for a machine part. Then, due to it's elasticity, it was shipped to the local toy store and made into the slingshot we know today. The man who had this idea was soon shot within a week after making a fortune by an insane jealous inmate. His name was never relased because it was too darn long to say. People who tried to say it were like to die of kidney disorders and freakish purple feet pnemonia before they could ever finished saying it. It's even too long to type in this very article. Very Nice!

See also

• Hippopotamus
• France
• The Thong Dynasty
• George W. Bush
• Glace Bay

Things to hide your ugly body with that you think make you look pretty

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