Niggerlodeon

The logo of the network, which debuted in September 1995. The prior logos were banned by the FCC due to how racist they were.

Niggerlodeon (also known as Nigg) was a controversial subsidiary of Viacom active from 1990 until 2001. Catering to African American teenagers, the network would initially feature original programming which was lambasted by critics for their racist stereotypes. However, beginning in 1999, a major shift in content occurred. This was due to upper management realizing that the n-word is supposedly bad. (previously, they thought that Nigger was just a nonsensical term used by hip hop artists) Seeking to rebrand, they changed Niggerlodeon into a MTV knockoff, playing gangsta rap and really offensive rap 24/7. This caused a massive decline in viewership, as many of their target audience was getting sick of this type of music, and by 2002, the network was merged into BET.

Despite being despised by countless black people from its beginning, the network would be funded entirely by a coalition of the CIA, drug dealers, wannabe gangstas and rappers, the KKK, and the Nation of Islam. All these groups realized the propaganda that could be made using the channel, and as a result, they were all competing for maximum control over it. Also, since it was the 1990s, many black parents didn't care what their children were watching, thinking that if The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was decent, surely Hollywood finally knew how to create plausibly human black characters. They still didn't.

History

Background

Ever since the end of Prohibition in the 1930s, drug dealers have attempted to try to control the black population so they would get them to be their most addicted consumers. In 1956, one of these drug cartels acquired KSHJ, a struggling station in Houston, and converted it into a propaganda channel, playing minstrel shows 24/7 alongside church services. A few years later, the CIA began collaborating with the drug cartels, seeking to use the marijuana they were selling to prevent black people from being educated, which is really bad for a nation which wanted white-only suburbia. As a result, this coalition of general pricks tried to get those wokesters at Hollywood to stop being woke, stating that they should stop including non-whites in their media. Sadly, that backfired. Now, due to those pesky protesters striking again, this time in the Civil Rights Movement, Hollywood was more motivated to be more woke, meaning those cartels were losing their largest fanbase, and they needed to repair their influence fast. The CIA was also annoyed by the War on Drugs, meaning that they had to take their shady stuff downstairs. Luckily, both groups would benefit from a revolutionary new type of music: hip-hop.

Early history

A trophy that the network won in 1991 for its stereotypical content.

In 1990, an African-American producer, who for the sake of his rights, will be called Jamal Barbary, pitched a show to CBS. Called Black Power, it was basically a collection of shorts about black people. However, when the original coalition of bastards heard about this, they chose to steal his idea and offered CBS the lucrative opportunity of letting the drug dealers and CIA make the shows as long as they could get their own network. In response, CBS agreed, and on August 1990, Niggerlodeon was created. Initially airing reruns of incredibly offensive shows, in October 1990, they began releasing their own original content, which if you need to know, was VERY racist.

Ever since its beginning, the network was bombarded with hate by the wider black community. However, due to hip-hop wannabes loving the shows, the channel benefited immensely, becoming profitable by 1991 despite being already banned in Philadelphia, Boston, and San Francisco. As a result, both the KKK and the Nation of Islam became primary sponsors, with local gangs also running promotion campaigns. All of this chaos ensured that the original coalition of the CIA and drug dealers were extremely happy, with the CIA ensuring that black people will always be discriminated due to the gangstas, and the drug dealers recouping their losses.

Golden Age (1994–99)

From 1994 until 1999, the network was getting increasingly popular, as now white gangster wannabes watched the channel. During this era, many rappers would star in the network's shows. These included Snoop Dog, Eminem, Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, Kanye West, and 50 Cent. Despite being a former gangster, MC Hammer was unable to star in any shows since the network thought that he was just not stereotypical at all. Alas, many black kids fell into the network's clutches, extending the relevance of rap music until the present day.

Demise

After the network's executives realized that the n-word was originally a racial slur, in 1999, the network rebranded, changing Niggerlodeon into a MTV knockoff which played gangster rap and really offensive rap 24/7. This caused a massive decline in viewership, as many of their target audience was getting sick of this type of music. The September 11 attacks were the final straw for the network, as many black people were shocked to find out that instead of mourning the loss of the thousands who died, Niggerlodeon chose to air racist shorts from the 1940s. This was the beginning of the end for Niggerlodeon, as now everyone didn't want to be affiliated with the network. As a result, Niggerlodeon lost over $45 million in advertising revenue from September 10–12. Seeing how unprofitable AND racist the network was becoming, in 2001, Niggerlodeon was liquidated, with its shows being merged into BET so that it would finally have a legacy.

Programming

A typical game show on Niggerlodeon

Over 750 shows aired on Niggerlodeon from its inception to its eventual cancellation. However, due to the collective efforts of the NAACP, the FCC, most Black people, and Black Lives Matter, most of them have been wiped out the web. Luckily, due to Tyler Perry, who was an avid archiver of these shows, we now have the ability to see some of these shows. Additionally, many movies were either produced by the KKK or Paramount Pictures and released under Da' Hood Productions. These were later used as a ride attraction on Niggerwood for Niggerversal Studios Niggerwood.

The Gangstas of Bel-Air

A rare clip from the short film.

This pilot episode was the very first thing to air on Niggerlodeon, being released on November 15, 1990. Seeking to capitalize on NBC's newest show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, it was about an alternate timeline where instead of being a sissy and staying in a luxury house, Will Smith was chased by gangsters and the Yakuza. Sadly, the actual Yakuza starred in the film, meaning that as payment, Smith will be assassinated in the 2040s as payment. The short stoped airing on 1992 when more gangsta shorts began being introduced to the network.

Horton Hires a Ho

Airing after The Gangstas of Bel-Air, being released on November 21, 1990, Horton Hires a Ho was a short 10-minute educational show which was about Horton, an elephant, hiring a black woman for...purposes. It was especially popular with young black teens, who were shown episodes of it every single day. However, it backfired, as now black people make more babies yearly than their white counterparts.

The cat before he became a criminal offender.

Gangsta Kitty

This show was actually created in 1999 as a web series for the Internet. If you're wondering, it was basically about a upper-class cat living in the safe side of Brooklyn. However, due to a mishap, he travels across the dangerous side of New York City, meeting gangsters, thugs, and the Mafia. When he finally comes back to Brooklyn, he is interested in hip-hop instead of classical music, greatly upsetting his colleagues.

All 'Dat

Released in early 1991, it's like In Living Color, but way less funny and way more racist. Don't confuse it with All That, a spinoff which was released by Niggerlodeon sister network Nickelodeon a few years later. That show was way more successful than the original, infuriating the network executives.

The Unfair World of Alika Mack

A spinoff of The Secret World of Alex Mack, this show aired from 1994 until 1998, when the original series ended. This show was about a black tomboy from da' hood who gained powers after an "accident" where a truck carrying GC-161 through a ghetto collided with her directly. Unlike Alex however, Alika would be immediately detained by the company, as according to the CEO of the Paradise Valley Chemical Plant, "She's black and poor, no one will care about her." The rest of the series was dedicated to her unsuccessful escapes.

Drake and Jamal

This 2001 show, which was made during the decline of the network, was significantly different in the aspect that, Drake, the interracial kid, would be living with his half-brother, Jamal, in the mean streets of Harlem for a few months. Due to the former's alienation with gangsta' life in Harlem, many hijinks occur. This show, not the DeGrassi one, helped propel Drake to stardom.

Critical reception

“It deserved to be killed with fire.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“This is the only network that we recommend for kids.”

~ Ku Klux Klan

“It never existed.”

~ African Americans

“I swear I'm not racist for creating this article! I'm black so I can't be, right?”

~ Pasmorade

See also

• Nickelodeon
• Black Entertainment Television
• Blacktoon Network
• The Color Problem
• The N-Word