Mind control devices

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Mind Control is a generic term for many different devices including the most famous popularly referred to (on da streets!) as the Television, Mind control devices include Womens daily magazines, the day time talk show, 'Magic Eye' pictures (you just need to watch someone trying to do one of those and you'll see what I mean)

The general idea behind all these is to limit (with varying degrees of success) a person's ability to control what they think of and their actions.

Ways to free yourself from these devices include taking a widely available drug called alcohol. The effectiveness of this drug can vary from person to person but most report unusual side effects including a slighhtt slurriring of speaach, feelings of being able to do a matrix style flying kick at a lamp post without injury and thinking that all members of the opposite sex are both incredibly fit and feel the same about you.

Subliminal Messages[edit | edit source]

Hi Subliminal messages are vocal commands too quiet to be heard, or visual cues too subtle to be seen. Sometimes you have to play a record backwards to hear them or not. The method to make subliminal messages become liminble is you search for them, a lot. So like if you go Like if you devote your entire life searching for them and sleep less than an hour a day. Soon you will notice the subliminal messages everywhere, many of which will call someone like yourself a paranoid lunatic.

Classroom Assignment[edit | edit source]

In its original form, the Classroom Assignment is harmless...kind of. But in the hands of a teacher, it can be used to control the minds of any student it comes in contact with. It works by forcing what the teachers call "good kids" to quietly become "smarter" while the troublemakers (i.e. your amazing children knowledgeable about the lies of school) refuse to do it and get punished.

Mind Control As a Mind Control Device[edit | edit source]

The easiest method of mind control is to tell someone that they're being mind controlled by something you oppose. For example, if you tell someone that liberals are trying to control their mind through the media they'll demonstrate their free will by obediently adopting conservative politics and only reading the bible. If you tell them conservatives are trying to control their mind through voodoo rays they'll obediently vote liberal and wear a tiny tin hat.

Disney Channel[edit | edit source]


Disney Channel. I will follow your every command.

Your bidding is my life, Disney Channel.

Form an army to destroy Troy Bolton? Your wish is my command, disney channel.

Destroy Troy Bolton. Destroy Troy Bolton. Destroy Troy Bolton...

How to free yourself from mind control effects of Disney Channel[edit | edit source]

The interesting thing here, readers, is that the only way to stop watching Disney Channel, is to watch more Disney Channel! YYou will find that you will grow quite weary of the craziness of this obviously mind-controlling channel, then you will revert your attention to more interesting pursuits such as golf or croquet, or say, shark-hunting.

How to free yourself from mind control[edit | edit source]

Try the following phrases:

  • Can't you see that's what they want you to think?
  • I can't believe you fell for that.
  • Don't let them tell you what to do!
  • Can't you see you're being manipulated?
  • Don't be a follower.

Or, to confuse the government, only wear your tin hat when you don't want to and always have it off when you want to wear it.

Of course, now that you're aware of this you're subject to mind control as a mind control device as a mind control device.