Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 25

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"I should've called it 'Around the World in Two Days', see if you can do *that* you perfidious wench!" - Jules Verne, probably

January 25: Shit January's Almost Over? Day

  • 1890 - Nellie Bly (Pictured) crosses the world in only 72 days, is faced with the nagging feeling that the stove might still be on the whole journey.
  • 1949 - The first Emmy Awards are televised, audiences everywhere smash their television sets for "growing an ego."
  • 1971 - Idi Amin wins upset election in Uganda after the other candidate is mysteriously shot forty-seven times in the back.
  • 1995 - The Russians almost launch their nuclear weapons after mistaking an atmospheric missile for a giant middle finger.
  • 1996 - The last man to be hanged in America, immediately regrets choosing to be hanged seconds after hanging.
  • 1998 - Pope John Paul II visits Cuba, condemns the country for its human rights abuses after a mojito he ordered took "too damn long" to arrive.