20th Century Fox
 Where's the freaking fox??? | |
| Founded | 1905 |
|---|---|
| Owner | Fake News Corporation |
| Founder(s) | Wilhelm and Jacob Fox |
| Key people | Dot Warner (chairperson) Homer Simpson (CEO) |
| Industry | Film, TV, fake news |
| URL | http://fakenews.com |
20th Century Fox Film Corporation is an American film/television production company and mind-control unit. It was founded by the Fox Brothers in 1905, before being taken over by Dot Warner's fake news empire in 2005, which was then taken over by The Disney Empire.
Origins
In 1905, the films were still a new thing to ancient man, and so the Fox Brothers, Freddy Fox and Fickle Fox, two Disneyland rejects, established a film studio under the title of Fox Bros. Features, taking on ex-vaudeville actors, producers, radiators and punters to produce shoddy, second-hand silent films with no budget. As there was no budget, even a film that bombed would still bring in money anyway, so it's still a profit, right? WRONG!
Enter Tex Avery
While other studios rapidly turned to Television, a handful remained to produce films. The Fox Bros, who had gone through hell whilst under the jurisdiction of Disneyland, decided to continue making films, but this time with actual plots, and plots that were based around the harshness of the Disney regime to cash in on the current hype of Disneysploitation.
At this point, animator Tex Avery, world renowned for his over-the-top violence in the horror genre, came to the studio and began producing some of the most successful horror films that were so violent they would scare a blind man shitless. Despite the large profits raked in for the studio, many of the cast died while shooting the Avery films, and so the money had to be spent hiring more staff.
The Brothers Die
When the Fox Brothers died in 1928, Steven Spielberg took a chance at running it through the Manic Depression. The studio suffered during the Car Crash of 1929, especially when they couldn't afford to replace the actors killed in Avery's bloodfests. It was still possible to hire cheap stagehands and crewmembers, but few were willing to act in fear of their lives.
As America began to recover from the Manic Depression, more actors and actresses returned, just in time to see Tex Avery and his partners Eli Roth and Rob Zombie take on a contract with Disney. He and Spielberg never saw eye to eye, because where they were going they didn't need eyes. The Fox Bros. studio had to continue alone, with income and pants dropping sharply.
Moving to TV
With movies becoming a thing of the past, Spielberg then left Fox Bros. to work elsewhere, and the studio came under the control of Oscar Wilde, who saw potential in producing television series rather than films. Hey, I just write this article, bud, I ain't making this stuff up...Well, okay, I am, but that's besides the frigging point, ain't it?!
By this time, Amalgam Comics was on the scene and ready to roll. The studio, with a contract to the company, produced several, really low-budget cartoons based on Amalgam Comics characters. Most of these failed because they were just bits of comic books cut out and stuck on wooden skewers with sticky-tape, and so the shows were soon abandoned after bombing financially and then bombing Iraq.
Fox Bros. Today
Following the failure of these cartoons, Fox Bros. is today only a cardboard replica, as the original was repossessed by the IRS in lieu of tax payments. The company is owned by News Corporation, whose CEO was Princess Angelina Cantessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca Rupertina Murdoch III (better known as Dot) up until 2023, when she handed the reins over to her son, Lachlan. On March 20, 2019, Disney brought News Corporation for $1. Why a rodent company decided to buy the parent company of a company named after something that eats rodents remains a mystery to this day.
